


One More Time

by alexandracj



Category: Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Blood, Bunnies (??), Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, It’s rated E for a reason, M/M, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Serious Injuries, Smut, Strong Language, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:35:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 61,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23258527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandracj/pseuds/alexandracj
Summary: Once a sect leader, Jiang Cheng feels the pressure of his past mistakes even more feverishly. He feels like relying on someone.Lan Xichen, sect leader of the Gusu Lan, wants to approach the other in order to put some light into his life. So he offers his hand.Jiang Cheng refuses it the first time so he asks for a second chance. One more time.
Relationships: Jiang Wanyin/ Jin Guangyao, Jin Rulan/ Lan Sizhui, Lan Xichen/ Jiang Wanyin, WangXian - Relationship, Wei Wuxian/ Lan Wangji, XiCheng - Relationship, mentions of Jin Guangyao/Lan Xichen
Comments: 40
Kudos: 80





	1. Confusion

Lan Xichen is pacing around. He is nervous, but can’t find an explanation for it. He just feels like something is about to happen. Wei Wuxian would call it the “sixth sense of a cultivator” as to make him feel better. But the uneasiness in his heart can’t go away this time.

He decides such an attitude is unacceptable, especially for a Gusu Lan sect leader. He sits down by the waterfalls and summons his zither. He tries to sing away his worries, but it seems like the odds were not in his favor.  
“Lan Zhan! I found your brother! Good evening, Zewu-Jun. I didn’t want to bother you, but Lan-er ge has something to tell you.”  
“Brother.”  
“Wangji.” However, the sight of his brother makes the unsettling feeling even more noticeable. The look in his eyes- Xichen stands up and dismisses the zither, with a bewildered look on his face. “Who is there to bother our sect again?”  
Xichen recalls the last time such thing happened and a shiver is sent down his spine. He regrets it all and will try to avoid such an occurrence.  
“It’s... it’s not about war .. Yunmeng Jiang sect leader is here.”  
Xichen is astonished. Why would he come here at such a time? Was something wrong? Did he have to plead for the couple again? Did the little Lans-  
“He said he wants to talk to you.”  
“Is that all he mentioned?”  
“He mentioned you two being alone as well. Brother, if it’s about us again, do not be angry. I will guard both me and Wei Ying if necessary. I have a-“  
“Something tells me it’s not.”  
“If he provokes you, call for me. I will come immediately.”  
“Rest calm. I will talk things out with him. Your brother can manage it.”

”I have no doubt that you will, brother.”  
Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian salute in a respectful manner and disappear.   
Even though Lan Xichen is worried, he is confident he can handle the matter.

  
The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader paces through the hall, with the same unnerved expression he has the whole time. He’s frowning like the Gusu Lan sect did something that deeply offended him. Xichen swallows the lump in his throat and proceeds to greet Jiang Cheng.  
“Sect leader. What-“  
“Listen here. If JinLing-“  
“Uncle! Stop beating around the bush! Tell him the real reason you came.”  
“I will punish you-“  
“I’m off to see Lan Sizhui. You can do it. Sect leader.” And he bows to Zewu-Jun. He says “uncle” before erupting in a sprint towards the training grounds of the Gusu Lan sect. 

“Sect leader. Why did you decide to honor us with a visit?”  
“Oh cut the formalities. We’ve passed the phase of being acquaintances. I... I came for a specific reason.”  
“Please proceed to tell me.”  
“Is Wei Wuxian doing a good job here..?”  
Lan Xichen not only that he’s taken aback by the sudden sensibility and concern of the ruthless man, but also the lack of the characteristic frown. He senses a lack of sincerity and something more. He can’t put his finger on it, though. It seemed like his face changed in the span of a few minutes.  
“He is! Wei-gongze is really a good and proficient person. He cultivates daily with-“  
“What I wanted to ask is... do you... do you want to walk with me? For a while. Ugh not that I’m fond of walks. I think we could have a talk between two sect leaders for important matters. Don’t misunderstand.”  
Jiang Cheng is really-  
Fuck.  
Again.  
“Of course.” A warm smile spreads on Xichen’s face as he allows himself to breathe. He was really scared of a potential conflict. He is much more calm that he knows there’s no worrisome matter to discuss. Still, the attitude of Jiang Wanyin makes him wonder.

Jiang Cheng fiddles with his sleeves and looks at his feet. Why did he come here though? He was so stupid. Of course they’d end up in point where they had nothing to discuss anymore. There’s no on-going war. There’s nothing going on in the cultivation world really. Why did he have to embarass himself?! He wants to punch something. Before expressing his anger, he hears Lan Xichen chuckling. Why is this man laughing? Is he laughing at him? Well he has Zidian so in any way-  
“Why did sect leader come to see me?”  
“I-I didn’t come to see you! I came to talk about sect matters!” Jiang Cheng feels that he’s heating up. His cheeks burn with deep embarrassment.

Lan Huan summons the zither and plays “Inquiry”. It unexpectedly calms Jiang Cheng down. The Jiang sect man gazes towards the sight next to him. An almost perfect cultivator, holding such a delicate object. There’s something almost forbidden about this. He doesn’t realise it soon turns into a stare.  
“Then why do you gaze at the zither like it’s so precious to you?”  
HE WAS PLAYING WITH HIM. Anger flares again in Jiang Cheng’s chest. Oh how he wishes he could beat him up until-

Lan sect leader puts away his zither and sends it away, looking rather distracted by something in the distance.  
“Oh! Look! The bunnies have swarmed over.” Jiang Cheng frowns again. He remembers noticing them with Wei Wuxian and his sister for the first time. A tear wants to fall down, but he holds it in, fueling up his anger.   
“Do they bother you? I can send them away.”  
“No!” Jiang Cheng feels like was a bit too enthusiastic in his reply. “I mean... they don’t bother me. They’re fine. But a gentleman shouldn’t-“  
“-hold rabbits? Why shouldn’t he? They’re really innocent and they make you think about how genuinely pure some beings are.” Xichen seemed fond of those animals. Sect leader Jiang wants to ask something, but gives up.  
‘They are not so bad..’ Jiang Cheng thought. It was just his memory that-  
Another chuckle from Zewu-Jun.

Lan Xichen is holding a bunny and he caresses him in a gentle manner. Jiang Cheng stares at his hands. Pretty, graceful. The white bunny makes the sight even more breathtaking. Sublime. He would have never imagined there’s beauty, but also something more in a moment like this.

He grabs a bunny and holds it in his arms. He expects it to writhe and twist and turn, but the little guy (he actually checked the gender) settled into his arms and started napping. A burning sensation in his chest startles him. It’s quite foreign for him. He might have experienced it. Once. Or maybe twice. He recalls his sister and Wei Wuxian made him feel that. He shoves the feeling and puts the bunny on the ground. He feels a pair of eyes burning into his skull.

Jiang Cheng wants to push the other man into those cold spring waters. Instead he blushes. When he realises that, he slaps himself across the face.“Jiang Wanyin! Is everything okay?”  
“Yes. I was just falling asleep. This is boring. Do you think we can move on?”  
“Of course.” Xichen puts the rabbit down and stands up. He offers the other sect leader his hand to take, but Wanyin just ignores him. ‘Not now’, he thinks. Lan Huan is disappointed, but quickly dismissed the thought.

  
They walk along the spring waters for a while more until the sun comes down.

The view was strikingly beautiful. He imagined why the Lans were devastated when their place was destroyed. It’s so calm and it has such an eerie atmosphere. You might never get bored while painting those scenes. Truly wonderful.   
But he was sad, too when his sect burned down and he had to rebuild it. Nobody felt compassion for him so why exactly should he weep for the man before him? Pathetic. Feelings are pathetic and only bring a man down.

Zewu-Jun turns toward sect leader Jiang who was thinking intensely about-  
“Oh!” And so he stumbles when he hits Xichen’s chest. The other man catches his arms before he trips and Jiang Cheng feels like dying. The man’s grip feels warm, it feels like home, it feels-  
“You’re transferring your energy to me?!”  
“I thought you seemed too angry and I wanted to-“  
“DID I ASK FOR YOUR HELP? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME BOUNDARIES IN YOUR BEHAVIOR! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!”  
Jiang Cheng doesn’t invite Gusu Lan sect anymore to Lotus Pier like he initially planned to. He leaves storming and snaps his Zidian once as to a farewell gesture. Lan Huan feels like he failed again. Maybe friendships or any type of relationships aren’t for him. He thinks about the way his brother interacts with Wei-gongze and he can’t help, but feel a little jealous. Jealousy?  
Wait.

How could he dare?

For this, he punishes himself into seclusion for a month. It’s his fault. He shouldn’t feel like that towards a stranger. He shouldn’t be jealous of his own brother. If he can’t handle his feelings like he did the last time, someone is going to die and he won’t afford it.

Jiang Cheng comes back home crying. He throws insults at his own self and goes to the extend of hitting himself with Zidian. He made Lan Xichen feel sorry about helping him and the last thing Jiang Cheng ever wanted was someone hating themselves for trying to get close to him. He feels jealous that his so-called brother found the love of his life so early and thinks he himself is worthless. When he’s done with the punishment he can’t walk anymore and he falls to the ground in the temple where he told his brother to fuck himself out of Lotus Pier. Tears fall on his cheeks and he feels like throwing up. He feels bad for himself, his sister, his parents and his brother who even gave up his own golden core for him to have a normal cultivating life. He prays that the heavens will forgive him and plans to talk to Lan Xichen.  
He doesn’t know how he ends up in his bed, covered with a smooth blanket, but before he falls into a deep slumber he sees his nephew hold his hand with sorrow plasted all over his face. He wants to apologize to him, too.  
A-Cheng dreams of Xichen extending his hand towards him, one more time. But it’s different... because he takes it.


	2. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng regrets all the bad decisions he made and acts according to his beliefs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Please do not proceed to read if any of the subjects in the tags bother you. I will create a notice when reading will become safe for everyone again. Thank you for your attention!  
> Thank you for reading! I will come back with another chapter soon!

Jiang Cheng wakes up with a headache.

“Sect leader! Everyone! Sect leader Jiang woke up!”  
Anger boils his blood because why the fuck are all those people gathering around? Sect leader here, sect leader there. He doesn’t reply to any questions and just tells them all to disappear. They vanish just as fast as they came in, except for doctor Heung. Suddenly another memory hits Jiang Cheng. He can’t stop the tears this time. There was another doctor, in another time that took care of him. He remembers just how anger was boiling inside his being just then, too.  
Wen Qing is taking care of him, even though he’s extremely reluctant. He started liking her at some point, but she didn’t reciprocate it. He bought her a gift. She was very gentle to him and did not leave his side when he needed help. He didn’t know if he should have told his brother, but he hoped Wei Wuxian would have supported him. Wait. He doesn’t have a brother. That brat-

He was disappointed, but in no way he wanted Wen Qing to die.

Jiang Cheng never knew how to express his feelings. He thinks that’s what drives people away. Maybe he’s too angry.   
But this doctor is annoying him. Too much.  
“Go away! I’m fine.”  
“Of course, sect leader Jiang. Just follow the rules I have written here.”  
Rules?! He needs no rules. He’s a sect leader, damn it!   
He lets the man close the doors and he takes a look at the paper he was given.  
Rule number one: take a proper rest.  
Rule number two: visit healing springs for a better recovery.  
Rule number three: drink a lot of tea.

... and some more rules that are completely bullshit, of course!

He is definitely convinced these are not helpful. Healing springs?! Where the hell would he even find such-  
Oh. The Gusu- NEVERMIND!

He sets fire to the paper, with the little spiritual power he had left. It seemed like the whip did great damage to whatever he had: both his strength and spiritual power.  
He tries to get up, wobbling on his feet. He holds onto the bed and other pieces of furniture to move towards the mirror. He has scars on his arms and probably his back isn’t any better. His face is intact, thankfully. He looks like a teenager who did way too many bad deeds. That if the teenager was over 30. And he had dark circles under his eyes. And he was scarred from previous experiences. A laugh rises in his chest. He looks disgusting. He’d whip himself some more if he could manipulate Zidian.  
A trace of blood on the corner of his lips makes everything funnier to him. Just like Wei Wuxian has been whipped. Until he threw up blood.

Once by the mother he had lost. The second time when they just met after he was reborn or whatever. He feels no regret. None of his actions are to be regretted. He meant to do it. He stumbles towards the window and stares outside. None around, they probably are on the training grounds. The lotus pods were hanging around. If his sister was alive, she’d give them both some seeds to eat. And she’d prepare a delicious soup for them and he’d bicker with Wei Wuxian about who eats faster.  
Maybe Jiang Cheng deserves to suffer. He drove Wei Wuxian away... because he wasn’t strong enough his parents died. He didn’t take care of his sister either and that’s why she died. He feels like his head is spinning, so he grips the frame of the window tighter until he hears the sound of a crack of his knuckles.

Where’s Jin Ling? He wouldn’t have left him alone, right? How many days have passed?  
Today there is a celebration at the Lanling Jin sect so Jin Ling won’t visit him today. But that’s what Jiang Cheng can’t know. He has no idea how much he slept. The feeling of loneliness presses on his chest and for a few moments he feels like he can’t breathe. His heart is heavy, it’s dragging his whole body down. With tears in his eyes, he goes to the temple. He falls on his knees and prays. For whatever. He isn’t a religious person anyway.  
Since Jiang Cheng considers himself a masochist, he summons Zidian back on his hand. The surge of power revives him. No matter how much it hurt the last time, it will hurt more now. So he starts stricking himself with Zidian again.

He grips the handle of the whip until his hand turns white. It can’t fall from his hands until he’s done. He grits his teeth and strikes. One. It hurts bay. He lets out a small whine, but swallows it up. The gods must see it when he punishes himself.   
Two. He feels a huge burn on his back. It feels like his wounds opened again.

Three. Fuck. It hurts and for a second he considers giving up, but no. In no way he’d do that.   
Four. His entire dignity is on the line so in order to become a better person he has to do this.

Five. This. This pain is nothing compared to what his brother felt when his golden core was ripped out. And he did not make a single sound. He isn’t weaker. He’s strong. He’s sect leader Jiang Wanyin!

Six. He regretted not being in his sister’s place when she was attacked.

Seven. His family should have six members. Him. His mother. His father. His sister. Wei Wuxian. Jin Ling. Jin Zixuan.

After that, he loses count, but as numbers goes by he hits even more fiercely and faster. Unfortunately, his hand and spiritual power grow weak and he sometimes hits his arms as well. His family is still broken so all of these really do not matter. He should just die! The world goes black and he chuckles. Maybe death has smiled upon him.

  
Jiang Cheng only wakes up when he hears someone wail.  
Oh, fuck! So annoying! He opens his eyes and glares at whoever makes that sound. J-JinLing?  
“MY UNCLE DIDN’T WAKE UP EVEN AFTER 20 DAYS! What did you all do? What the fuck did you do? Do you take your job seriously? Do you want me to kill you all?! I won’t even spare your families! Jin sect always gives everyone what they deserve. You-“  
“Jin Ling, shut the fuck up. I didn’t die.” Though he could have been just as good as dead.  
“Uncle!”  
The brat hugs him a little too tight.  
“Get off me, I hurt all over.”  
“Why did you do that?”  
“I’ve been asleep for 20 days and you forgot your manners? I’ll get up and give you a nice- ah!” Even moving his arms hurt.  
“We had to call several doctors. You just wouldn’t wake up. Uncle, can you feel your spiritual power?”  
Jiang Cheng tries to summon it. And it’s quiet. He tries again and again.  
Nothing happens.  
He gets up hastily, forgetting about the excruciating pain erupting from everywhere. He tries to do a simple spell, anything. But it’s still quiet. He can’t even clench his fists or yell. Everything hurts.  
That bastard, Wei Wuxian. Even the golden core he gave him was weak. It broke.   
Jiang Wanyin eventually gets up, but since he can’t feel his legs properly, he falls on his knees, gritting his teeth in pain.   
“Uncle! Don’t get up again. You have to recover.”  
“Fuck the recovery. I need to do something.”  
“Do what?”  
“ANYTHING! I CAN’T FEEL MY SPIRITUAL POWER!”  
Everyone in the room falls silent and comes to a halt.   
Only then Jiang Cheng notices it was bustling with people.

Jinling’s eyes grow in size and all the Yunmeng Jiang sect disciples and cultivators fall to their knees, deeply bowing.  
“We apologize to Yunmeng Jiang sect leader for not being good disciples! Please spare our lives!”   
Jin Ling is shaking. Jiang Cheng barely registers what he just said. When he does... he starts crying and yelling.  
“EVERYONE GET OUT OR I WILL KILL YOU! GET OUT NOW LEAVE!”  
So does all the people present leave the room, including his nephew. ‘A-Cheng has failed you, shijie. I’m sorry for not preserving your golden core, brother. I failed you.. mom.. dad. Maybe I should have died with you. Wei Wuxian... you bastard... you left me all alone and married the Lan man.. LAN XICHEN! Where the fuck are you now?!’  
Jiang Cheng is strong and he doesn’t really mean his words, but in that moment he wanted to grab Xichen’s hand. He wants that dumb Lan man to offer him his hand. One more time.


	3. Repentance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Xichen decided he needs a punishment for all he has done wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also full of trigger warnings so read with responsibility! Thank you for understanding.  
> Thank you for reading! I’ll come back with a new chapter soon.
> 
> AN: “ The xiao is a Chinese end-blown vertical flute usually made of bamboo.” I’m sure you have seen Liebing before! I considered it was the proper moment to mention it :d

Lan Xichen has currently decided on a supplementary seclusion week. He prolonged it due to his original thoughts to give up. He practiced his xiao, Liebing and cultivated peacefully. Occasionally he played the zither, talking to various spirits and helping some find their peace. He missed his brother and the lively atmosphere in Cloud Recesses. It’s really hard to be by yourself for so long, he thought. Maybe Jiang Cheng has one more reason to feel neglected.

But he had to repent for feeling jealousy towards his brother. His brother never once wanted anything bad for him and helped him a lot, but that was not the first time he doubted the choices Wangji made. That time he regretted a lot. Only if he listened to the two earlier, the end would have been different, with less people being killed.

He felt sorry and immediately punished himself.  
The days he spent there brought anguish and self hatred, but he managed to keep those emotions under control. Seclusion is not easy to get through, but it was needed, he thought.  
He also happily remembered the faint smile on Jiang Wanyin’s face when they had the bunnies come to them. He knew the mask of anger on the sect leader’s face was just for others to see him as a tough person. More than sure, he hurts inside, just like Xichen does. But he can’t compare their sorrows. Jiang Cheng lost a lot in a very short period of time. It must have been shocking. He was too young when he lost his parents. Besides that... those were his sworn brothers while sect leader’s sister-

Xichen wants to comfort him.  
No. Such thing is not proper for a sect leader. He’d fall into ridiculous, considering that Jiang Cheng would want someone like him to comfort his injured heart.  
Lan Xichen wanted to see how self inflicted pain felt. He witnessed Wangji get punished a few times and he felt sorry. If he took a proper stance, maybe his brother would not have been scarred for life.

The place of the seclusion was a cave, far away from Cloud Recesses. The cave had sharp corners and a lot of free-fall spaces. It was quite scary for a normal human, to be honest. When he first arrived here, Xichen lit up a few torches and decided it was the perfect place for his punishment. A place nobody knows or suspects him to rest in.  
Lan Huan knew how pain felt. He did mistakes in the past so he was corrected by his uncle. Nothing really serious. Unlike his brother... who was convicted to so much pain that sect leader Lan shed tears for him when he came to understand. He also knew what emotional pain was. He lost both Lianfang-Jun and Chifeng-Jun, his parents and misread both Wei Wuxian and his own brother. Nie Mingjue’s death hit him the hardest and he barely had time to recover before being struck again by the second fatality. Those thoughts kept haunting him. He remembered again and again where all the suffering came from.  
Zewu-Jun wanted to experience real, physical pain this time. He considered it as a part of his penalty.   
He took out his sword, Shuoyue, and cut deep into his arm. The torture made him see stars. He never expected it to be so painful. When he detached the sword from his arm, a lot of blood was falling on the ground. It was pooling at his feet and he took a few steps back, watching it follow its path to gravel and endured the suffering. He clenched his fists and fell to his knees, staring at his own hand. He remembered A-Yao’s death and how he stabbed him without remorse.. for the moment. Tears stained his porcelain face and with another slice of sword, he cut one more time into his right hand. He screamed with pain and it seemed to never end. Zewu-Jun eventually fainted. 

When sect leader woke up, the metallic scent of blood was surrounding him and he couldn’t bear it anymore. He threw up blood and breathed deeply. He went for a bath in the freezing waters of the cave, calming down his nerves. The wounds stabbed daggers at his soul, but he gritted his teeth and went on with his day.

His Meng Yao’s smile was something he couldn’t forget. Deep dimples, shining eyes, a pretty face. But then the memory is replaced by an A-Yao whose face is sprayed with blood and instead of his smile, the corners of his mouth are turned downwards. No dimples.. just... suffering.

Lan Xichen barely ate anything and he’s sure he started hallucinating. Wangji is facing him, Wei-gongze at his side, both calling him “Lan-gege”, Sizhui on their tails, with his small waddle. The scene changes fast, brother Mingjue is in front of him, with a cheeky grin, which changes into a frown, pointing towards someone behind him. Zewu-Jun turns around and there is Meng Yao with a scary and cool expression. Chifeng-Jun wants to attack him, but Zewu-Jun stands between them, to stop the fatality. At their side, his parents are cheering him up, unlike he has ever witnessed.  
Lan Xichen himself gets scared when the scene changes into the death of Nie Mingjue, when he qi-deviated to death. But this is not his memory, what’s happening? A-Yao comes back to the scene, smiling maliciously. Xichen extends his sword and Meng Yao stabs himself in the stomach, pushing his sworn brother to the floor with a pained expression. Sect leader retreats to escape this hell. He starts running really fast, not looking back at all, terrified that they would all come to kill him, to make him pay, until he finds himself falling into spring waters. Instead of waking up, he faints and forgets about surviving. Or maybe... he just doesn’t care anymore. It’s the last week of seclusion and his time might have expired. He wants to throw up blood again, for all he witnessed was too abominable for him.

“Lan Zhan, your brother is awake..”, Wei Wuxian and his sneakiness. Truly a show.  
“Brother.” Wangji is immediately besides his bed, kneeling. He bows respectfully and changes the wet cloth on his forehead. “How do you feel?”  
“Everything hurts. How did you know.. wh-where to find-“  
“Brother, please, forgive me, but I blessed myself with the right to search for you. I was worried.” Wangji proceeds to bow, before the older Jade twin stops him.  
“Do not worry, brother. I am actually very happy that you did. There was a chance I would have died without you.”  
“When I found you, sect leader, you were lying next to a pool inside a cave and your face was even paler than usual! That’s when I noticed Lan Zhan and we escorted you to Cloud Recesses. It was pretty great how you rolled yourself out of that icy water.”  
“Thank you, Wei-gongze. That was very kind.” Xichen’s usual smile never falters, especially in front of his family.

..But who saved him? He remembers clearly falling into the water, almost freezing to death. He couldn’t have floated to the shore, there... there was no connection to the outside on that side.. unless... 

no. Such a stupid thought. He’s a sect leader and there are no phantoms in this world. He shoves the thought away.  
“We will now leave you alone to rest. Your arm has to heal. I won’t ask about it now, brother. We will discuss it later. We-“  
A roar seemed to break through the door when JinLing made his appearence into the room.  
“Sect leader! Hanguang-Jun, uncle Wei! I am so sorry to bother you and I apologize for my rude attitude, but I have a request for Zewu-Jun. Please forgive the lack of my manners and listen to me.” Jin Ling fell to his knees in an instant.  
“Proceed to speak, JinLing.”  
“My uncle Jiang needs your help! He has lost all his spiritual power and is now in a frenzy! I am afraid he’s crying too much and doesn’t seem to get his head around anything. He has been really sad these days. He keeps whispering your name, but when I ask him about it, he denies and trashes the room. I don’t know what is up between you two, sect leaders, but I need your help.”  
Lan Xichen falls back on his bed, with his powers drained almost entirely.   
It can’t be true. Why would Jiang Cheng whisper his name? Why in this entire cultivation world would-

Nevermind.. but because of the cave incident, he doesn’t feel strong enough to deal with a hysterical Jiang Cheng. He breathes in and out and tries to calm this disciple at least.  
“Jin Ling, I am very tired. Could this wait a few more days?”  
“Sect leader, I am so sorry, but it can’t! I am afraid my uncle would become a savage if this continues.” Jin Ling was trying to hide the blush on his cheeks. Lying is not his speciality, but his uncle has really gone mad. Not to the proportions he mentioned, but he knew there was only one way.  
Both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are shocked. They stare at each other, rendered speechless.  
“I think we should go as well”, the Yiling Patriarch begins. To his affirmation, JinLing reacts almost violently and claims that under any circumstances, Zewu-Jun should go by himself. It’s only him who can solve the problem. Wei Wuxian makes a strange face, but then all of a sudden, he starts sporting a blank face, devoid of emotion.   
Gusu Lan sect leader breathes in again. He thinks about other solutions. Breathes out. In a haste, he assigns his brother as the sect leader for the time being, before he comes back. To the question “how long will it take?” he raises his shoulders and changes into official clothes. Lan Xichen is conflicted. His wounds hurt, but the sense of duty is stronger.  
He will give Jiang Cheng one more opportunity to follow him and get rid of his grief. He clutches his arm and accepts the situation. He thinks it’s worth trying. Just one more time. 


	4. Extra- Unexpected Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian found Lan Xichen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! There are a blood!tw, violence!tw and self hatred!tw. I never intended to write this extra, but I think it’s necessary to put it here. It might help you with the comprehension of some future events.  
> Thank you for reading!

“Lan Zhan... I think we need to talk.”

”Wei Ying. I was expecting you.”

Lan Wangji is seated with his zither in front of him and he seems calm. But when does he go overboard anyways? He closes his golden eyes and ponders. He shouldn’t yell, it’s his Wei Ying, but lying to him about such a matter wasn’t nice either.

”uh... you were..?”

Wei Wuxian feels like going twenty feet underground-wait. No. That doesn’t feel nice. Maybe just ten, ten feet underground. He never intended to lie, but he felt like he had no other option. He twists a strand of hair between his fingers, looking down, conflicted. How can he start now?

”Wei Ying. I might be mad, but it’s better if you tell me the truth now.”

”Lan Zhan, listen. I had no intention! I just didn’t want you to be more worried than you were.”

”I know. I know you had no ill intentions. Come here.” Lan Wangji gestures Wei Ying to approach him. With no shame overall, Wei Wuxian sits on the lap of one of the Twin Jades. They are married, after all.

The Jingshi is almost quiet.* Only the birds at the windows are making a bit of a sound. Wei Wuxian breathes deeply and exhales a few times. He turns his head towards Lan Wangji who is gazing at him with a stern, but in the same time loving expression. Only he can look like that, honestly.   
Wei Wuxian’s gray eyes were staring into Lan Wangji’s golden ones. What a sight, truly magnificent. The real definition of silver and gold melting together!  
“Where should I begin?” Lan Wangji puts a hand around Wei Wuxian’s waist, making the other blush a bit.

”Wherever you want.”

Snapping out of the spell, Wei Wuxian starts solemnly.

”Alright so...

’I was sleeping, you know... peacefully, after we did that which was... not so peaceful.. haha.. and the sound of a sigh woke me up. You heard it right, a sigh. I sat up, looked at you and you were sleeping peacefully, sign that you clearly didn’t hear it. I decided to go back to sleep, but this time an even more powerful sigh got to my ears. I couldn’t have dreamed. I looked at you again and you were... sleeping, of course. I was really frustrated. I haven’t played a song on the flute for days and... we’ll talk about this late, alright? I haven’t done bad things. Let me finish the story. Can’t you see they’re waiting? Anyways. My apologies, young disciples from another time.   
So I left the bed and just looked around the room, I couldn’t be that mad. At first look there seemed to be nobody, but in the corner of the room there was a lumped figure. I was scared, but I didn’t want to wake you up. I was surprised enough that you were sleeping so I guessed something was off. I couldn’t hit with Suibian and I couldn’t play a song either. Both actions would have ended the same: with you waking up.

I tried to be nice. I noticed the black aura around the figure. It.. it was a ghost. But not a ghost who wanted to do bad things... the resentment was-was targeted towards their own self. I have never seen such thing, Lan Zhan trust me. I tiptoed towards the ghost and it raised the head.   
I was shocked, too and the expression on the ghost’s face was the one that convinced me I couldn’t tell you for the moment. Unexpectedly, I was feeling teary and angry at the same time, but.. again.. I didn’t want to wake you up.   
It was Jin Guangyao.’

Wait, Lan Zhan. Calm down.”

Wei Wuxian noticed Lan Wangji’s knuckles were white, as he was gripping the air really tightly.

“Whats does.. that b-person want? Right now?! When things have settled for us?! Does he want to get revenge on my brother? I promise to-“

”Lan Zhan. Listen to me.” Wei Wuxian grips both sides of Lan Wangji’s face and kisses him deeply until he feels the other calmed down almost entirely. He poured a bit of spiritual energy into their bond, so naturally he yawns a bit.

”Wei Ying! Why did you do that?”

”I have to finish the story. Alright.

’Jin Guangyao is clearly more scared than me. No dimples this time. No dumb hat or anything. It’s just him, in humble grey clothes. You know how spirits sometimes take the form of their most prized appearance. His cheeks are stained with blood. The blood.. it was flowing down from the corner of his eyes. He was crying blood. He cried so much that it turned into blood. He opens his mouth to tell me something, but turns his head around, scared. He didn’t miss that hand. I whisper to him that it’s fine and he can talk to me and only after a few persuasions he turns his head to look at me again. Lan Zhan, trust me that I don’t like him a bit. He was the most manipulative person I know and he definitely caused everyone a lot of trouble. I also knew what you thought of him and I wasn’t trying to be any lenient. I just had to listen to him. I had to listen to my heart, not my brain, once again.

When he actually started speaking, I was hit by a wave of sadness and blood began to pool around him. With a few nice words I convinced him to stop crying. Brokenly, he whispered to me:

<<You have no reason to believe this disciple, but please listen to him! This disciple is heart-broken and hates himself to death! But listen to this disciple! Please!>> I was watching him, incredulous, thinking he was going to lie again through fake tears, but not even Jin Guangyao would lie with blood dripping from his eyes.  
<<I’m all ears.>>

<<Xichen-ge is in danger! In great danger! There has been a ghoul who attacked him. Listen to this disciple! I know you don’t trust me, but you can come with me to see! Unfortunately, it would take a lot of time to bring help so you’d better go with your .. h-Hanguang-Jun! He can help.>>

<<If that’s the case, why didn’t you reply to Lan Zhan’s requests? How come you only showed yourself to me?>>

<<scared... very scared... he is angry with me...>>  
<<And how did you find about Zewu-Jun’s whereabouts?>>  
<<I have always known where he was.>>  
<<Isn’t that weird and crazy?>>  
<<I promise I never meant harm. I started watching over him when-fine, hear me out I was always trying to help! I promise! This disciple isn’t lying. You can disperse me if you don’t believe it.>>

<<Go on. How can we find Lan Xichen-ge?>>

<<There’s this obnoxious cave. He initially fell into a cold well, but I took him out and put him on the bank of a lake. It’s the cave...>>

And so he told me about it, all the coordinates in detail. But there was something else that I had to ask about.

<<Why?>>  
<<I never meant to harm him. I never meant to break his heart. This disciple cares about gege a lot. I will forever pay for my mistakes.>>

<<Do you feel any remorse?>>  
<<If I had to pay with my life, I’d do it again and again if it was Xichen-ge driving that sword through me.>>

I knew he wasn’t kidding. His eyes were sharp, like they were back in the days when he was alive. Yet no trace of a mischievous smile. It was one of the rare times Jin Guangyao wasn’t lying.   
He paid his respects and was about to disappear when I stopped him. One more thing.

<<Will you keep watching over him?>>

<<After this.. there will be no need. Someone else is willing to take my place. He’s alive and well. You just have to trust him.>>  
<<Wait! Who is that person?>>  
<<You shall find out soon. Wei-gongze, thank you. Thank you for saving Xichen-ge, thank you for taking care of his brother. Thank you for saving the cultivation world. Others might not admit it, but you have done more than anyone would have. Even though you paid for your few mistakes, a good soul like yours was meant to return to the world of the living for doing good deeds for the rest of their lifespan. Goodbye. I am sorry for the trouble.>>

<<No trouble. Thank you... Meng Yao.>> A smile brightened his complexion and then the original austerity came back. With a bow of his head, the black mist dispersed and Jin Guangyao was gone. I had no idea if it was forever or not, but I felt like he had done what he always meant: he saved his sworn brother, once.’

And that’s when I woke you up, the cloud of the magic being gone. I told you about it, inventing a shorter, more pleasant version. I hope you are not mad with me as much as you were before. I couldn’t explain then. And when your brother came back.. I realized it wasn’t the proper moment to make such a confession.”

A tear fell on the Wei Wuxian’s robe. And it wasn’t his.

”Lan Zhan?? Lan Zhan??? Why are you crying?! LAN ZHAN??? Are you feeling good? Where does it hurt??”

”Wei Ying... I’m sorry. I was hostile towards you. I apologize.”

”Aah, Lan Zhan. You scared me. I thought you were hurt. No way, I am not mad or anything. It was my fault for not telling you. I should have told you the truth.”

”But you were right about me being mad. You predicted it well. I might not have had the patience, had his name been mentioned. You did well. You have a kind heart, Wei Ying.”

”Stop, you’re making me blush. First of all, no more crying, okay?! You didn’t inflict any pain on me, I am fine! Even if you did.. I probably like it or I was probably wrong. Don’t worry. You know what’s best.”

”You might be surprised that’s not always the case.”

”For me, there’s nobody else better than Lan Zhan. I love you.”

”I love you, Wei Ying.” And so a passionate kiss killed the tension in the atmosphere.

”Lan Zhan... who do you think Jin Guangyao was talking about? I have an idea, but I might be mistaken.”

”I wouldn’t guess. What do you think?”

”Sect leader Jiang will just be busier than usual the following days...”

”You think so? Your brother is quite.. cold.”

”Nah, you’d be surprised to find out how nice he actually is when he wants to. He just doesn’t know how to express his feelings. I’m sure your brother caught his attention and even more... his heart, too.”

”I would like to watch that happen.”

”I would, too.”

——————

*Jingshi, almost quiet? Get it? :d (AN: Jingshi translates into “the quiet room” ^^)


	5. Stars From Different Galaxies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin Ling wants to reveal something to Lan Sizhui.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello! Attention! Spoilers from the book. I had no idea I was going to write this so thank you for being patient with me! A little late update, but I will get back to the main action soon! Thank you for reading. This is completely safe to read, in my opinion.

Jin Lin doesn’t seem to hurry anymore once they get on the road. As if all his worries about his uncle vanished. But Lan Xichen is a good man and he gives Jin Ling time to explain. The road they took shall be long indeed.

”Are there any free rooms? We need two.” This Jade of Lan is surely confused about whether he actually grew up in the Jin sect or he is fully influenced by his uncle. 

The owner of the place looks at Jin Ling with disapproval and replies shortly “no.” Lan Xichen notices how the younger’s hand lands on the hilt of his sword and he stops him, with a shake of his head. The older cultivator breathes deeply and puts on his polite smile. It’s time to act like a sect leader.   
Slightly bowing his head, the man greets the owner with a respectful “Greetings, mistress. Excuse my.. nephew’s attitude. He is very tired and hungry. Could you possibly lend us a room?”

The change in the woman’s expression is visible. She bows her head and replies with courtesy: 

“Greetings, cultivator. The little man should learn a lesson or two. He has no idea how to talk to someone who is older.”

”I will indeed talk to his father as-“

Jin Ling’s face drops and his eyes tear up. Lan Xichen wants to slap himself, but he continues as if nothing was wrong. “-soon as we arrive! But we traveled for too long and we needed to rest. Please bless us with the possibility of sleeping in your inn.”

”Of course, cultivator. You look very elegant. How could I leave you like this? Here, follow me. I have rooms facing the springs. We don’t serve food here, but there is a place across the road.”

”Thank you very much.. my lady.”

The woman blushes visibly and bows her head, retreating fast. They approach the rooms they were brought to and a cool air hit their faces. They had more than a view of the springs. Lan Xichen could just extend his hand and he would feel the droplets of water falling on his hand. He was happy he managed to convince the woman to let them stay there. It was beautiful.

The Lan sect leader was reminded about the beauty of Gusu and Jin Ling... Jin Ling, too. He particularly remembered a scene that left an impression in his heart.

’ “Ayioh, Sizhui! What are you doing there?”

”Feeding the bunnies! What’s wrong, Jingyi?”

”The Jin brat is here again!”

”Hey! Shut up! I-I am only a few years younger!”

”Kid.” The two were about to start a fight, but Sizhui came right just in time. 

“Jin Ling, welcome”, he said, bowing politely. The younger disciple has a blush spreading across his cheeks, but he wiped his face furiously to get rid of it.

”Lan Sizhui”, he replied. “I am here to.. to... to see Wei Wuxian. Uncle Jiang Cheng asked me check on him.”

”Oh? Both my dads are out, they said they had to bring something back from town. But my uncle is here if-“

”No! That’s.. that’s fine. I can wait.”

”It might take a while.”

”Not to worry about! I am a-a patient person.”

”Of course.” Lan Sizhui showed him a smile and turned around to go back to the rabbits.

”Wh-what are you doing right now?”

”I have nothing to do, so I just wanted to stay around these little animals. Want to come with me?”

”Yes.. if-if you insist!”

The bunnies swarmed around them and Jin Ling felt a wave of happiness hit him. He couldn’t display such powerful feelings so he just “hmph”-ed and tried to look indifferent.   
On the other side, Lan Sizhui, the one he has always considered to be very mature, was acting like a small child around his favorite toys. Maybe his uncle left a bigger mark on his personality than he thought. Lan Sizhui let the bunnies climb all over him with the pretext of trying to feed them. Jin Ling approached him, shyness suddenly enveloping himself. But what should he be shy for ? They’re friends.. after all.. 

“Sizhui... I want to ask you something.”

The older boy was already tired from dealing with all the little creatures so he replied slowly.

”Yeah... sure.. uh yeah, tell me. Hey! You! Come down! Yeah, I am not kidding!”

”You seem quite busy, I don’t think..”

”No! No. I mean.. it’s fine. I’ll just put them all down.” While he was trying to put the last one down, his hands slipped and the bunny climbed on his head, refusing to leave. “Uh... can you.. help me? I have no intention to be rude, they are so chaotic sometimes.”

”Yes, just come a little closer. And slowly so we wouldn’t scare the little guy.”   
“Girl.”   
“Oh! My bad. The little girl.” Jin Ling carefully picks up the bunny and puts it on the ground and it casually sprints towards her other friends. Cute. Jin Ling feels like he came a little too close to Sizhui, there are only a few inches between them. “Sizhui”, he whispers, clearly flustered. Why does it matter anyways. It’s not like he’s hurting someone. His uncle married a man, alright?!   
What he doesn’t expect is Sizhui’s smile as a reply to his call. Though it’s a different smile. There’s a faint change in the older’s expression, but a fond smile spreads on his face again. ‘Boom’, Jin Ling’s heart beats two times faster than usual. Can’t he tell? Can’t he tell Jin Ling is on the verge of fainting? He can’t open his mouth to speak and he forgot what he was going to say. He grips his robe with both his hands. Why is the water falling down like rain? Surely it was-

“Master Jin Ling! Here, come under this robe. It’s raining.” Master? Did he- “They are going to make you a sect leader, am I right? I mean, technically, you already are, but there will be an official ceremony, isn’t it?”

Jin Ling is speechless. He regains his composure fast and speaks.

”That doesn’t change anything.”   
“Are you sure it does not?”   
“I wouldn’t dare.” Jin Ling’s heart beats even faster. How is the Lan disciple so calm? How does he do that? What-

“If you say so, then I believe you. Yet I will only be a lowly cultivator, compared to your status.”

All the awkwardness suddenly vanishes and anger flares inside his chest. Who dared to put doubt into Lan Sizhui’s heart?! Who dares to speak ill of his intentions?! He wouldn’t touch a hair on his head, how could anyone lie in such a-

“You’re angry.” His hand envelops Jin Ling’s. “Jin.. Rulan. Flowers don’t get mad. They’re beautiful and... graceful.”   
Jin Ling swears he could cry. The Lan disciple’s hand holds his tightly, not letting go for a second. “I was not implying anything.”   
“I know.” The future Jin sect leader breathes loudly, with relief. “I just wouldn’t want anyone to disrespect you like that. You’re powerful and talented and really kind and I don’t believe you’re JUST someone, it’s more-“

time stops. 1. 2. 3. stop counting. jin ling can’t remember how many minutes passed by. it seems like they turned into hours. sizhui’s hug is warm and tender and he smells like sandalwood and rain. he hugs back and feels sizhui tightening the hug. a tear slips. is it his? fuck, he should say something right? what does he say? I think I- no. hey well listen- what the actual hell, no.   
“This is nice. Thank you.” Jin Ling says, his voice quivering.  
“I think so, too.”   
“I thought you thought I am just a kid.”   
“I don’t. Jingyi doesn’t either, he just likes to be annoying. I have always looked up to you.. sect leader.”   
“wh-why?”   
“You have survived losing both your parents and the mean words coming from everywhere. You held you head high, despite having small anger fits.”

”Hey! Those are quite rare. I am not that whiny.” Sizhui laughs with his whole chest, shaking them both in their hug. Jin Ling starts laughing as well. This moment shall forever be engraved in their soul. Along with the cold they catch if they don’t get inside immediately! The robe is soaked and they are shivering a bit, but Jin Ling warms up almost instantly when Lan Sizhui kisses his cheek, gingerly. Jin Ling looks at the ground, defeated. 

“You managed to do and guess everything before I even had a chance.”

”You’re an adult, Jin Ling! Get over yourself!” The annoying Jingyi strikes again. Oh he’s going to.. hmm.. actually... He’s right. He’s an adult. He snaps his fingers and Jingyi falls in the mud.   
“What the fuck?!”   
“I am a cultivator. There are no rules. Plus...” He looks at the one beside him once again before speaking “.. fighting is forbidden in Cloud Recesses.”

They get inside, wet and somehow tired from the bickering they had with Lan Jingyi. Huh, who knew his tongue was THAT sharp? Remembering the insults, Jining finds himself chuckling.

”Hmm? Anything that happened?”

”No, it’s just there were some phrases I never heard! Jingyi really surprised me. Not even uncle has such a colorful vocabulary. He might need to refresh.” Sizhui laughs again and it’s this cute laugh Jin Ling feels very fond of. “Lan.. Yuan. This is your birth name, right?” A-Yuan’s eyes drop to the ground, just nodding his head. ”I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

”It’s fine. I don’t mind it. I like that name anyways. Don’t you like Rulan?”

”I only came to appreciate it because my uncle gave it to me.”

”Everyone thinks you hate my father. It’s not true, is it?”

”How could I... he said some things.. but he didn’t mean them. I’m sure about it. He saved me.. more than a few times. I know he cares, even though he is a very strange man.”

”Haha, he sometimes acts like a child, that’s true.”

”Maybe that’s where I got it..”

“Maybe we should change the subject! It really is a bit sad.”

”How were your parents?” Sizhui goes silent. “I’m sorry. I forgot. That was so rude of me, please, forgive me, I will never do this again.”

”I don’t remember. I don’t know if I ever met them. But my parents are... RIGHT HERE! HELLO DAD! DAD!”

Jin Ling thinks the scene is weird, but the way his life has been... isn’t any better. He smiles, knowing how much Lan Sizhui must love those two men who helped him grow up into the kind and calm person he is today.

”You said you were looking for uncle Wei! Here he is.”

”Right. Greetings, uncle Wei, uncle Lan. Uh, uncle Wei.. uncle Jiang wanted to ask if... if you could visit us sometimes.”

”Sure thing! When that would be?”

”Any time is right.”

”Hmm we have a few things to deal with at the sect and then we will come.”

”He specified you should come alone.” Lan Wangji turns his head towards his husband in a fraction of a second, looking rather scared. “Lan Zhan, don’t worry. I’m sure it’s fine.”

”Wei Ying.”

”I will call for you if there are problems, but I am sure-“

”My uncle has been rather calm these days! It’s fine! I promise.”

Lan Wangji looks at the smaller person and nods his head with courtesy. He disappears with Wei Wuxian just right after that.

”Well! Such a common behavior of my parents! Anyways, shall we go watch the sunset?” Lan Sizhui is still smiling even though the atmosphere was very awkward just a few moments ago. He grabs Jin Ling’s hand without waiting for a proper answer and runs with him towards the special place, on top of a waterfall. Their special place. Like two stars from different galaxies, they rested watching the other celestial bodies before falling asleep.’

’Jin Ling.’ His name being called wakes him up from his reveries.   
“Coming. Yes, sect leader.”

”I wanted to apologize.”

”What for?”

”My remark earlier when discussing with the lady. It wasn’t my intention to be rude. Please excuse my behavior.”

”There is no issue. I treated it as a cover up for my rude behavior. I couldn’t be angry for such a matter. Please rest assured everything is fine.”

”Did you rest properly?”

”Yes, I think I have rested for a while.”

”Would you please come with me to visit this town? I have never stopped here before. If it wasn’t for my arm, we would have traveled faster and further.”

”There is nothing more important than your health during the trip, sect leader. I shall come with you.”


	6. Piece of Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin Ling finds himself telling Lan Xichen way too many things about his uncle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is another friendly chapter!! It’s intended to be funny and kinda thoughtful so I do hope I’ll make everyone see Jiang Cheng as a nicer person than he lets people to see :d

“We should follow the inn lady’s instructions. There really is a place to eat across the road.” Lan Xichen believes in the good will of people and trusts them without question. This time his stomach was the one who made the decision. He didn’t have a proper meal in a while. Jin Ling nods his head and follows the elder. He seems rather nervous so Lan Xichen tries to find a way to make him laugh. “Hmm, the name of this place is ‘Heaven’s smile’. I sure hope Heavens will smile and offer us a good meal. Otherwise, there’s a chance we’ll starve.”

This doesn’t make the younger one laugh. Instead, he frowns and inspects the place. It looks clean. They might have good food, too. For a second he thinks about using his future sect leader influence, but that’s not what a responsible person does. This is a leisure trip, he shouldn’t bother the other officials with such a thing. There must be something good to eat. Plus, he can’t reveal that detail to this master yet. There’s a time and place for everything. He didn’t tell his uncle and he wants to be the one to break the news. Sizhui and Jingyi will keep quiet. They are understanding. Sizhui... Well he hopes he’s fine. They’ll see each other soon enough. Dispersing all these thoughts, he focuses on his meal with the Gusu Lan sect leader. He might learn a thing or two from his demeanor.

Lan Xichen is a very well behaved person. They sit at a convenient table and wait patiently to be served. In this town they are two simple cultivators and they have no intention to disrupt the stillness of the atmosphere. Lan Xichen bows every single time he is offered something and thanks deeply. Jin Ling is much more proud, but reluctantly, he tries to do the same. It doesn’t bother him as much as he thought it would, but it hurts a bit of his childish pride. Maybe these are the remaining bits from his father’s attitude.

his father... He had been a really good man, trying to convince Wei Wuxian to see his sister again. Nobody knew such a tragedy could happen. He doesn’t blame his uncle. He somehow knows it wasn’t his fault, despite the badmouths of the others. His mother wouldn’t have protected him with her life if he was guilty. She would not have personally come in such a dangerous place to talk to him if there was nothing to be cleared up. His family had honorable people. No matter how harsh his uncle Jiang is with him, he somehow knows it’s because time had roughen him up. Jin Ling has no idea how or when did those ideas rise inside his head, but he has a feeling that he’s right. When there were and are so many people who loved and love him a lot, he must be responsible and act accordingly. He must make the souls of his parents proud. Uncle Jiang won’t scold him anymore and uncle Wei will finally smile, relieved. He’ll also prove to Sizhui that he is a nice person.  
“Jin Ling? Is anything wrong?”   
“No, why?”   
“I have been talking to you for a while, but you were staring at the wall in front of you. I thought you have been listening.” Lan Xichen’s awkward smile makes Jin Ling a bit embarassed.   
“Sect leader! Please forgive this disciple. My mind was wondering..” 

“Do you mind sharing?” 

“Ugh, sure, sect leader. I was thinking-“ 

“Ha ha, I meant the food...”

Of course. Why would he be interested in his problems? He has his own problems. As such an important person, he must be very busy himself.   
“Excuse me, sect leader for being so-“ 

“Actually.. Tell me. What’s on your mind? Maybe this old man can help you with a few things.”   
‘I doubt you can help me with my feelings. You can’t even handle yours! It’s not like I do not respect this elder, but old people sometimes just aren’t in check with their own hearts! Uncle Wei was so dense and couldn’t figure out uncle Lan would have given up his soul for him! Uncle Jiang and this sect leader... they are really powerful, intelligent and they elaborate good strategies. But they only think with their head. Their hearts must have died from being so angry from neglecting them so much! I know the war has been tough with both of them so this is exactly why they have to get over it and just.. do something!! Interactions please?! It’s like poking a dead animal with a stick.’   
“Yeah. You can help me with something, master Lan.”   
“Of course!! Do tell me what can I do?”   
“Do you know why did we go on this trip?”   
“To help your uncle.. uhh I mean sect leader Jiang to calm his mind and soul.”   
Obviously. Ah. Jin Ling sighs.   
“That too.. but I... uncle Jiang isn’t... umm... in such a bad state.. he’s angry.. but definitely not on the verge of killing himself.   
The shock was visible on the Lan cultivator’s face. “??”   
“He.. he really whispered your name in his sleep.. a few times. I am not lying now! I promise. But I know he would rather die than express his feelings. I told him I would bring Your Excellence there to help him cultivate.”   
“..couldn’t that wait?”   
“Hahahaa... definitely not! My uncle was keen on learning a few lessons from you. Truth is... he can’t feel his golden core anymore. I know he’s feeling depressed because of it and he can’t even punish himself anymore as Zidian doesn’t answer to his calls. He thinks uncle Wei gave him a fractured golden core during the transfusion, but I do not think this is the case. What do you think, master Lan?”   
“I.. I think you’re right. I had no idea y-sect leader was in such a situation. You could have told me earlier. Now we’re just going slowly because of my injured arm.”   
“Right. About that... when did it happen, if I am not too nosy?”   
“I did that. During my seclusion.” Lan Xichen slightly raises his sleeve, showing Jin Ling the deep cuts on his right arm. “I had hallucinations and I hurt myself.”   
“Does it still hurt so badly?” 

“No. I have been asleep for some time before you came and it’s mostly healed.”   
“Forgive this disciple for being so curious.”   
“I think you are old enough to ask serious questions. You might be ‘a little one’ for me your whole life, but I know you’re a kind and responsible adult. Otherwise... Sizhui wouldn’t be so interested in you.”   
Jin Ling feels himself blushing. So does Sizhui ask about him when they aren’t together? It’s... it’s great. Lan Xichen continues: “Both his fathers taught him good things, but he has the sense of duty from Wangji. He is a good kid. I am happy he has found a reliable friend in you.”   
Oh heavens.. there he goes. What’s wrong with Lans? Being so stingy and rightful and always so well-behaved... They don’t allow a second of straying. Good thing his uncle married Lan Wangji. He taught him what having fun meant. At least Sizhui isn’t so inexperienced. Ah damn it! His head is full of that person! It’s so annoying sometimes. It always has to be about him! He must do something about it and soon!   
“Yeah... friend...” 

“Did anything happen?”   
“I have to ask a question, master.”   
“Of course!!! Ask away.” The friendly smile of Lan Xichen made Jin Ling feel safe. It was like his mind finally allowed that man to feel like family, too. Huh. Quite a weird family he has! Yet he wouldn’t trade it. For anything.   
“What do you feel about my uncle? No. Don’t start with ‘he’s strong, righteous and so on. With all due respect, but everyone knows that. What do YOU feel, master?”   
“What do I feel... I-I-I don’t know. I never gave that a proper thought. He is a reliable friend and-“ 

“Friend? What does you heart tell you, master?”   
“My heart..?”   
“Yes. It’s right here.” Jin Ling points towards Lan Xichen’s chest. Maybe it was the fatigue, but the older man’s eyes seemed teary and confused.   
“How do you listen to your heart?” Jin Ling was taken aback. He had no answer for that. But how did a grown man not know that? He seemed so lost and sincere when he posed the question. It was a new side of a big sect leader that Jin Ling just discovered. For some reason, he wants a hug.   
“I do not know either. It just comes naturally. I will offer Your Excellence an example. You really like someone.” ‘Ah, Jing Ling. You are so intelligent you sometimes surprise yourself!’ “Your mind tells you it’s not the time to confess your love, but your heart yearns to hold that person. In moments like this, you usually listen to what your heart desires. If people listened to their brains the whole time, the world would be so boring and meaningless.”   
“How do you tell someone you like them?” 

“You muster up all the courage in the world, breathe deeply and just confess. It often is impossible to do it like that, directly, but you let the other person know you care and that you want the best for them.”   
“How?” ‘ Oh come on, sect leader can’t be this inexperienced...’ 

“You do things that will impress him.”   
“Like what?”   
“Like helping him get his golden core back.” Lan Xichen falls silent. ”I know it might have sounded disrespectful, but, sect leader, believe me I want the best for my uncle. This disciple wants to see him happy, to see him stop seeking for a wonderful purpose of his life and just live the moment. I have a theory. I am a humble person and I usually like to go by the rules I have been provided, but this time I do want to believe there is a correlation between the golden core and that person’s feelings. Haven’t there been times when you felt it weaker when you were angry or in despair? I did. Especially when people mocked me for not having parents. It was hard to access my powers and fight again. More than often, under the pressure of being an heir to the throne and my uncle’s harsh lessons, I was feeling powerless. It’s the same with my uncle. He is ambitious and refuses to give up. He is a fighter, he’s very strong, but on some occasions we all need help. He doesn’t ask for it because he wants to be respected and won’t show weakness, but believe me when I tell you... when I suggested you, master, coming to Lotus Pier... uncle didn’t respond. Maybe he is blind or something, maybe he has no idea how to tell his feelings apart, but there’s something he wants to tell you, yet he has no courage to do it. Please, sect leader, if you do understand yourself, help him, too. Help him figure it all out.”   
“Is... is this what he wants?”   
“He never said it out loud, but yes. I am sure about it. And please, for the love of heavens... do not tell my uncle any of this. He must not know you have so much information.”   
Lan Xichen smiles again. And calls for someone so he can pay. He looks rather relaxed, the tension suddenly gone. “I promise to keep my mouth shut. And it was just a piece of information anyways. We shall return to the inn. It looks like it’s getting dark.”

Jin Ling smiles in return. Maybe he did the right thing. This time. Maybe the Gusu Lan sect leader will offer his uncle his hand. One more time.


	7. Jiang Cheng Was Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Xichen and Jin Ling find a few distressed people and offer them some help. Before leaving the town, Lan Xichen notices a weird detail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! The protagonists are about to meet again!! I’m sorry for making everyone wait, but it was a necessary thing. This chapter might be a bit too violent! Trigger warning! Suicide! Death!

Lan Xichen and Jin Ling were about to finish their trip when they stopped in a town which was close to Lotus Pier. They were finally in Yunmeng. The boats and people selling all kinds of food were making Jin Ling happy. He could see his uncle again. And he brought a present! And what a present.. maybe his uncle would skip the scolding this time.   
“Aiyoh... I am a bit thirsty and hungry. Could we stop somewhere, Zewu-Jun?”   
“Of course. What do you want to eat?”   
“Hmm, I know the perfect place. Follow me!” Jin Ling erupted in a sprint towards a rather lively and good-looking place. They say old habits die hard.   
They sat at a table, listening to the chatter before noticing the one who served food and placing an order.   
“Because we are in Yunmeng, I will pay!”   
“Jin Ling.. you don’t have to...” Lan Xichen’s uncertainty was making Jin Ling laugh. The man was truly way too polite! He was going to die in Lotus Pier.   
“I insist. Besides... you’ll do the interrogation for me. Ask the man who brings the food if there was anything unusual happening in Yunmeng this past week, please. I might sound rather rude and look too flashy. You don’t seem suspicious, master.”   
Lan Xichen giggled before turning into the friendly investigator.   
“Sir! I have to ask you something, can you please help?” He shoved some money in front of the server who took them casually and sat at their table. 

“How can I help, cultivator?”   
“Were there any strange occurrences this past week?”   
“Yunmeng is an interesting place! It depends on what you are curious about.”   
“Hmm anything related to possessions or other supernatural things?”   
“There was something... but the Jiang sect leader acted against it. There were a few ghosts wondering through the town. He took them down then crashed at a local bar! But there have been other things happening, too...” Lan Xichen shoves another pile of money next to the man’s arm. “Right! I remembered. We haven’t heard of master Jiang after that, but our boats kept getting subdued. We reached for the sect leader, but it seems like he vanished! Only a few were hurt and nobody died, but it’s not often that our rivers and lakes act up! It’s totally marvelous! And you didn’t hear it from me, but that sect leader, cultivator whatever is really useless!”   
Lan Xichen notices the restraint in Jin Ling’s posture. Gradually he clenches his fists, then his jaw and sports a fierce gaze. It looked like he wanted to dig a grave for that man and throw him twenty feet under. He was breathing heavily, too. But Lan Xichen didn’t tell him to calm down and only because there was something different, something that wasn’t there before. A restraint. A faint trace of a good conduct.   
Lan Xichen would have lied if he said he didn’t feel angry with all the slander against Jiang Cheng. He knew Jiang Cheng was probably busy so he didn’t- 

“Thank you. Sir. You can go now.”   
“Of course, young master. Thank you for eating here! I’ll leave you be.” The man quickly got the notice and left.   
Under his breath, Jin Ling started criticizing the server for bad-mouthing his leader.   
“Such a fucking liar. Uncle couldn’t even use his sword. He couldn’t have come into town to help. He probably sent a disciple.”   
“There is something weird about this matter. I think we should investigate the boats drowning and then get back to find out more about the ghosts.”   
“Yes, Zewu-Jun.”

The two cultivators headed towards the biggest lake in Yunmeng, which was also related to an important river that served as a place where people exchanged goods. Perfect place for a creature to hunt. When they reached it, most boats were bigger and looked much stronger than the ones Yunmeng used on a daily basis. This resulted in less boats being accosted and less goods being exchanged. It directly affected Yunmeng’s economy in some way.   
“Could it be a conspiracy, Zewu-Jun?”   
“If you take all the evidence into account, it’s where it should lead to. But I do not think that’s the case. People were only injured, nobody died. If they wanted to disrupt the finances of Yunmeng, they would have directly attacked the larger markets, not an exchange point. There must be a resentful spirit here.”   
“Then I assume there was a person who was tricked, lost a lot of money and then killed himself?”   
“You might be right. We shall ask around first.”   
With a few fails in their account, Lan Xichen thought about changing the appproach.   
“Greetings, master! I was searching for a relative of mine who used to sell valuable things here. Do you happen to know him?”   
“Greetings, cultivator. You have to be more specific.”   
“He had a family, he had some unfinished business with others. Does this say anything to you?” 

“...” So he knows! Lan Xichen guessed he had the man he was looking for. “Maybe.” Zewu-Jun took some money from his pocket and inserted them into the other man’s pouch.   
“Would this young master mind to help me find my relative?”   
“I have bad news for you, young man. The man you are looking for died not long ago.”   
“What a tragedy!! How did that happen?”   
“Look, I didn’t want trouble. I know what he suggested wasn’t really that dangerous, but I didn’t want to risk. I am sorry. I-I took the money only because I needed them.”   
“What money are you talking about?”   
“The ones he made while selling his products. I know how he earned them so I did not think it would be bad for me to take them and not give them back. After all, he wasn’t the nicest person.”   
“If I was noticed earlier, I would have paid you for him. You didn’t do a good deed either.”   
“I am sorry about that. I had no idea he’d throw himself in the water. I called people over to help him, but he went down quickly and drowned.”   
“Do you happen to know where the water ghoul is now?”   
“So that’s what he turned into.. well it keeps reaching for our boats. It managed to take down a few, but since we brought these stronger ones, it isn’t able to destroy them, too. But a few have been given a nice shake. I suppose it won’t be long until it learns how to destroy the bigger ones as well.”   
“I am here to help. But before that... you need to tell me one more thing. Were the ghosts that got eliminated people from his household?”   
“I am afraid that’s the case. His father and his mother died. They were working and helping him to pay the taxes, but some thieves tried to steal what they were selling and accidentally killed the two old persons as well.”   
“How could that happen?” Lan Xichen’s frown was growing. How could Jiang Cheng allow such thing to happen in Yunmeng? People stealing because of poverty? Sellers competing to death? The problem had a deep root.   
“It seems like the sect leader forgot about us. The economy has been failing us. And maybe it’s not the young master. Maybe the gods decided to punish us for not praying or who knows... maybe they are just bored.”   
Sect leader... there was something going on with Jiang Cheng. The Lanling Jin little man wasn’t lying. Something is definitely wrong. Jin Ling was keeping his calm. Lan Xichen will definitely praise him later.   
“I can help you get rid of the water ghoul. I need a smaller boat to be brought here and simple clothes for both me and this young master next to me.” Jin Ling only bowed his head in respect, not talking and not looking directly into the man’s eyes. Maybe the vender noticed a few weird things, but he didn’t dare to talk with his hands full of Lan Xichen’s money. The vender complied and helped him as much as he could. Lan Xichen asked his and Jin Ling’s boat to be filled with expensive goods. After that, they waited.   
And the wait wasn’t long. The boat was attacked soon and the ghoul reached for the riches in the boat. Lan Xichen threw the content of the boat on the ground and lunged in the water, Jin Ling staying inside the boat as previously instructed. Lan Xichen tried his best to struck the ghoul down with his sword, but without any luck. If anything, the ghoul’s movements were swift and its attacks merciless. Lan Xichen felt like he couldn’t keep his breath for too long. He swam towards the surface and had his head out, breathing, when something caught his leg and dragged him down. From lacking killing intention, the ghoul turned into a human eating one since it was also deprived of the said riches! Lan Xichen was losing the battle. He never imagined he’d die swallowed by a low-level water ghouls. At least he died fighting the evil.

Just then, an electric golden arrow flashed before his eyes, aiming towards the ghoul, chasing it off Lan Xichen’s body. The Lan sect leader wasted no moment and fled towards the surface. The ghoul came for him once again, but another arrow flashed next to him and this time it hurt the ghoul pretty badly, enveloping it in a powerful golden aura. It was electrocuting the ghoul and that only. The laws of this land said he should have died from being electrocuted, too, but it seems like Jin Ling knew how to control his talent pretty well. Lan Xichen never saw such a perfect shot.   
A memory flashed before his eyes. ‘Wei Wuxian has this black thing draped over his eyes and he’s shooting so many arrows?! He’ll never manage to do it. Or at least that’s what Lan Xichen thought. But all the arrows landed in the center of the targets. Wonderful!’ Not surprising that the young man is so talented.   
Lan Xichen can finally breathe and Jin Ling pulls him out of the water. The ghoul frees itself once again and lounges at them, trying to jump inside the boat. The last arrow Jin Ling shoots is a flaming one and once it hits the monster, the hideous creature is dispelled into a black mist. Everyone watching them from the shore claps loudly and cheers. They throw flowers towards Jin Ling. Orchids... Jin Ling looks at them before thanking overjoyed and promising to help them in the future as well. The young man picks all the flowers and helps Lan Xichen out of the boat. They leave the scene with another round of applause on their tails.

Lan Xichen thinks while sitting on a rock, warmed up by the hot rays of the sun. Jin Ling is a very talented man. If there was someone who should be assigned as a sect leader, that should be Jin Ling. Maybe better than almost all Lanling Jin sect leaders. He likes helping the people, he is quick to react and knows how to control when his anger flares up. Jiang Cheng should be proud. Meanwhile, the young cultivator brings steambuns for them both to eat. After the meal they go to the said haunted house. No trace of anyone else living in the house. Lan Xichen wonders if the man was married. He plays his guqin to detect any fierce ghosts that could cause trouble to the town. The only information he collected was that his parents were proud of what he decided on doing and that they were sorry for not being able to see thank him properly for not dumping them on the streets. What child would do that to his parents? Only a degenerate maybe..  
Jin Ling searches throughout the house for any cursed objects without being instructed to do so. It seems like he took many lessons. He reports back to Lan Xichen, explaining that there was no trace of resentful energy.   
“Maybe that cultivator destroyed everything that was left.”   
“Then it could have been Jiang sect leader, as well.”   
“No, Zewu-Jun. Not in his condition. Can you play the guqin again? Please ask them if they have seen someone who looks like uncle Jiang.”   
The guqin plays back some notes he doesn’t understand.   
“Someone definitely came, but it wasn’t your uncle.”   
“Can you ask them if it was a Jiang disciple?”   
“Affirmative.” 

“I will search some more. You can rest until then. It won’t take long, master.”   
“Don’t overdo it. I will be outside.” Lan Xichen puts his guqin aside and steps out.

Lan Xichen looks around. A beautiful place to live in. No wonder Jiang Cheng is so attached to Yunmeng. A lot of joyful people and many things to see and buy. He could live here for a while. Maybe it would be a rewarding time after how much he has actually worked as a sect leader. His eyes fall on a pillar supporting some houses next to the lake. There was something carved on it. It wasn’t far from the abandoned house so he just went there to take a look. He squinted his eyes and tried to read the messy handwriting.   
‘Jiang Cheng was here.’ Lan Xichen sighed. This happened a long time ago probably. He thinks that maybe his well-expected holiday was taking a rather unexpected turn. To each of their own.   
‘One more time’, Lan Xichen thought. ‘I’m trying one more time.’


	8. Frail Humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no! Sect leader Jiang looks like he has a fever. Great news! Lan Xichen is there to cure it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings! Some self hate, a bit of violence mentioned, lots of swearing. You know, JC is here. But it’s a fluffy chapter! I finally let the protagonists breathe. For now. :d

  
Lan Xichen and Jin Ling travel by boat to reach Lotus Pier. Only Jin Ling was expected so the disciples receiving them are astonished to see the Gusu Lan sect leader come. They are confused and have no idea how to react at first so they scramble around before bowing deeply and saluting the Lan man.  
“GREETINGS, ZEWU-JUN! WE ARE HAPPY TO HAVE YOU HERE! PLEASE EXCUSE THE LACK OF PREPARATION!”  
Lan Xichen is taken aback. He smile’s politely, a bit troubled over how respectful these youngsters are.   
“Haha, no need for such courtesy! I am a cultivator like all of you..”  
“IMPOSSIBLE! WE ALL LOOK UP TO YOUR WELL-BEHAVED PERSON!”  
Jin Ling rolls his eyes and pushes people aside. “Alright alright, now let us go in. Zewu-Jun has no time to talk to you.”  
“Of course!” A corridor of disciples is created and the two newcomers make their way towards the entrance.  
“What’s all this noise?”   
Everything goes quiet at the sound of that voice. Birds seem to fly away, people disperse, the whole world is still. Jin Ling freezes in place. Lan Xichen doesn’t understand what has happened and peeks his head from behind Jin Ling. His eyes are big, searching around for any clue for the weird behavior or everyone. Jin Ling doesn’t move for a while. Lan Xichen puts his hand on the younger’s shoulder.  
“Jin Ling?” But he wasn’t replying. All of a sudden, the Lanling Jin disciple bows deeply and speaks: “Greetings, uncle. I have come back.”  
“Jin Ling. Who did you bring with you?”  
“Uh, don’t be mad! I did this on my own accord, but I promise I meant to help you.” Jiang Cheng laughs at the remark, which is something Lan Xichen rarely hears.  
“Let’s see first.”  
Lan Xichen takes this as a sign to step forwards. He eyes Jiang Cheng and his jaw falls to the ground. 

“Sect leader. I have come to trouble you with my visit.”  
Jiang Cheng doesn’t reply for a while. He just stares back at Lan Xichen only to slightly bow in the end.   
If Lan Xichen is allowed, he wants to be honest. The Jiang sect leader looked more or less like a simple man, dressed in fancy clothes. Signs of a beard, hair lightly pinned with a head piece, sad eyes, slow walk.  
He looked like he had grown old.  
But he was a cultivator! How could that happen?! He must be dreaming. He breathes deeply, something must be constricting his throat. His eyes were teary. It was devastating. Jiang Cheng walked towards the two of them. He showed a faint smile to Jin Ling, another thing unlikely to happen too often, and nodded his head towards Lan Xichen. He was showing respect so blatantly, like Xichen was more important than he was. It hurt Xichen’s heart.   
Without thinking, Lan Xichen gripped Jiang Cheng’s shoulders, with a bewildered gaze. He couldn’t and maybe just didn’t want to understand the situation. Jiang Cheng showed another sad smile and didn’t move, didn’t get angry, didn’t get angry at Lan Xichen, didn’t move the other man’s hands away. Lan Xichen was screaming at him internally to do something that was slightly offensive or show a bit of irritation. But there was no sign of such thing in the cultivator’s eyes. Without realising it, Lan Xichen spoke, voicing his thoughts out, shaking the sense into Jiang Cheng.  
“How?! Why?! You can’t be like this. Wake up! Or wake me up!! Do something!” The Gusu Lan sect leader’s eyes filled to the brim with tears. He let them fall on his cheeks, a choked sob escaping his throat. His legs were barely holding him.  
Thinking about this whole thing... why did he get so angry about it? What did he have to do with Jiang Cheng? Why was he so shocked? Why-  
That’s why Jin Ling brought him over. It wasn’t about duty or about a lifelong friendship. It wasn’t about being a close relative. Lan Xichen cares without a reason. He cares because he can and he wants to. He cares and feels the urge to change the situation. He removes his hands from Jiang Cheng shoulders and hugs him tightly. If he said he was surprised , it would have been a lie. Jiang Cheng hugs back and cries softly.  
Nobody else was around. JinLing vanished magically and the other disciples were nowhere to be seen. Only heavens know the disciples were spying on them, silently praying their sect leader would get better with the help of the Lan man.   
“A-Cheng, A-Cheng. What have you done?”  
“I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I was angry and I lost control and-“ A sob erupts from his throat and he can’t speak anymore.   
Lan Xichen has a deja-vu sensation. Except he can change the situation this time. He promises to.  
None of them move. Rain starts pouring and both of them get soaked with no intention to break the hug. The Lan man is reminded Jiang Cheng is more like a human now and makes the first move.  
“A-Cheng. Come. Let’s go inside.” Jiang Cheng only nods his head and lets himself get carried on the other man’s back. No riposte.  
They get inside Jiang Cheng’s bedchamber. The Jiang sect leader sits on the bed and Lan Xichen sits on his knees in front of him. Jiang Cheng insists the other cultivator sits next to him, but he is met with refuse.  
“I want to get a better look at your face.” Tears are still falling on his cheeks. Jiang Cheng takes his headpiece off. His hair falls in rivers on his back and shoulders. It grew a lot. It seems like his body fought the lack of spiritual power in every possible way. It’s such a dark black that Lan Xichen feels compelled to touch it.   
“You can”, Jiang Cheng replies to the silent question. The Lan cultivator approaches and he stares into the other’s eyes. Amber eyes staring into almond colored ones. Lan Xichen still didn’t dare to touch. Jiang Cheng took the initiative and grabbed his right hand and put it on his head. The sleeves on Xichen’s robes revealed the scars on his right hand. The Jiang cultivator caressed them gently.  
“You too?” Jiang Cheng asked, with a whisper.  
The other man nodded while running his hands through the beautiful and well-kept hair. “Don’t cut it”, he said.   
“I won’t.”  
“It’s so beautiful.”  
“The hair or... the face?”  
“Both.” Jiang Cheng’s breath is caught in his throat. He continues staring into Lan Xichen’s eyes. He too would compliment him, but it doesn’t feel right. It’s way too out of character! He gasps when he feels a hand on his face, caressing his cheeks. It’s so gentle, yet the hold is firm, like it’s trying to bring him back to reality. There are two lightnings in his eyes and a strong urge to touch the other man takes over his senses. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know if it’s the horrible state he has been in or.. fuck, Lan Xichen has intense and kind eyes, but a flare has been lit up inside his heart and he feels like he can’t stop.  
He hugs Lan Xichen in a tight embrace. He’s not met with rejection and he feels happy. Once. After so much time. It’s not only about those past months, it’s just after what happened, he never got the love he secretly craved. Lan Xichen was so caring. He seemed a bit too diplomatic sometimes and just well-behaved and way too nice to everyone. But he has never seen him as a rather warm person. It seemed like the diplomacy was a feign for the coolness of his heart and the disregard he had for others. He learned it wasn’t true, but the inaccessibility wasn’t dispersed and Jiang Cheng felt that any improper thought he had was just a drop of dirt on a perfect painting. Lan Xichen, no, the sect leader of the Gusu Lan clan was a perfect man. No wonder why they were called the most beautiful of the cultivation world. There was no doubt about that. Yet there was something that made you stay away. You could only admire, like even a simple touch would break their porcelain skin and handsome faces. Every single time Jiang Cheng met with Lan Xichen he sensed like there was an overwhelming feeling to the mere presence of a single man. Jiang Cheng abruptly parted with the sect leader, looking rather horrified. He had been so bold and so disrespectful. He stained a perfect picture, daring to touch someone he’d rather consider being an angel!  
“A-Cheng, what’s wrong, did I do anything wrong? Do you want me to remove my hand from your hair?”  
“Why are you here?”  
A simple question. It’s probably to mock him and the devastated state he is in.   
“I’m here to help.”   
“Why would you help me?”   
“Because I want to.”   
“Of course. What other reply would Zewu-Jun give me...” 

“Jiang Wanyin, not everyone is afraid of you and your anger fits.”   
He never thought about it in that way. He lets his head fall, looking at his hands. They are shaking as usual. He wouldn’t be surprised if there was some nerve damage as well. The lashes were cruel and way too many for any living thing. He was surprised he woke up. He has whip marks on his arms.   
“It’s not about that, Xichen-ge.”   
“Then what is it?”   
“...” 

“TALK TO ME, DAMN IT!”   
“WHAT IF I DO NOT WANT YOUR HELP?!” Lan Xichen chuckles and for some reason it’s the scariest sound Jiang Cheng has ever heard from him.   
“Then you’d rather pity yourself here in this room? While the others are out, helping the common people? Do you want your people to die? Do you not care?”   
“I have my own life.”   
“And what did you do with it? You hurt yourself. LOOK AT ME, JIANG WANYIN!” Jiang Cheng is really scared of the man in front of him. He has never seen an angry Lan Xichen. It’s true that the most quiet people are the worst when mad. He reluctantly tilts his head to look at the other sect leader. He feels like tears are about to fall. Again. So pathetic. When did he become a crybaby? “Do you know what’s currently happening in Yunmeng? Do you remember when your disciple went out to take those ghosts out? If you were there, you would have noticed your people had their boats destroyed by a water ghoul! People are stealing, Jiang Cheng! People are hungry! And what do you offer them? A laughing stock of a sect leader?”   
The last sentence angered Jiang Cheng the most. Probably because it was so fucking true and it hurts so much.   
“SO WHAT?! THEY SHOULD ASSIGN ANOTHER SECT LEADER!”   
“DO YOU EVEN HAVE CHILDREN, JIANG CHENG?! WHO SHOULD THEY ASSIGN? YOUR UNDERAGE DISCIPLES?”   
Another hit. Shit, Lan Xichen was out for blood.   
“I don’t care. I can’t take it anymore.”   
“Bullshit.” Jiang Cheng whipped his head with the speed of light. No way that came from such a well-behaved sect leader. Jiang Cheng must have angered him too much. His hands were shaking badly and tears fell down his cheeks. Fuck, this shitty reactions his body has. Lan Xichen probably noticed because he put his hands on Jiang Cheng’s, transferring a bit of spiritual energy to calm him down. The younger didn’t refuse it. He knew what those episodes of fear meant and he hated them with a passion. “I’m sorry”, Lan Xichen spoke again. “I didn’t want to be so mean. I hate to see you suffer. I don’t know how much of my feelings you understand, but I was devastated when Jin Ling came to tell me the news. I forgot about my wounds and hurried towards Lotus Pier.”   
“I know. Jin Ling returned with you way faster than I expected.”   
“You didn’t expect him to come back at all, did you?”   
“...” 

“A-Cheng... do you even like me to call you A-Cheng?”   
“..yes. It reminds me-“ A sigh stopped him from talking.   
“I know what you mean. You don’t have to say it.”   
“I do! This can’t go on. It happened and I just have to get over it. My sister used to call me like that. It gives me a pleasant feeling.”   
“Then A-Cheng it is. You can call me as you wish.”   
“Xichen-ge.”   
“Yes?”   
“I want to call you Xichen-ge. My brother doesn’t visit me often, but... but if I can-“ 

“It’s alright, A-Cheng. I know you need to hear this. Listen to me. Please.” The Jiang man feels a pair of strong arms gripping his shoulders. It doesn’t hurt, it still feels like a gentle touch so he nods. “It’s not your fault. None of it was your fault. Your parents’ deaths, your sister’s or even Wei Wuxian’s. I know what you wanted to hear wasn’t ‘Jiang Wanyin of Yunmeng Jiang killed the Yiling Patriarch.’ I know it hurt me when my own brother didn’t want to tell me about Meng Yao because I wouldn’t have believed him. The same goes for Wei-gongze. But this... the state Yunmeng is in right now, is your fault. It’s only your fault that you didn’t care about the sect or your own people anymore. Learn to understand what you can and can not control, A-Cheng. You can’t control others’ lives. But you can control yours and your actions. You can do better. You can be the best sect leader. You just have to want to. Jin Ling. Jin Ling believes in you. If he had no hope, he wouldn’t have asked me to come. Jin Ling knows you better than anyone, he basically grew up with you being the only person he trusted that much. You gave him an education, you taught him how to cultivate. He is such a great man because of you! He is going to become a phenomenon because you helped him! Alright, you weren’t the nicest uncle, but you did a great job. He’s actually really good at archery.”   
“Psh. That’s not my legacy. That’s what he got from Wei Wuxian.”   
“But the spirits. That’s yours. He’s rightful and he cares about his loved ones. Just like you do.”   
“What about you, Lan Xichen?”   
“Me? What about me?”   
“Do you still think people died because of you?”   
“You do. Hence the seclusion. Listen. You might be older, but aren’t any wiser!”   
“!!!” 

“Zewu-Jun you are so blind sometimes. You were blind when you loved for the first time. You were blind when.. when your brother tried to talk to you. You didn’t trust him because the Yiling Patriarch might be a little evil and your Meng Yao was so nice to you, so you never noticed his plots. You were so blind when you were taken advantage of for being such a nice person. But there is something you deserve to be praised for. You never changed. Damn it! I won’t ever understand how you still are the most gentle man that will ever exist! You are so kind and so peaceful and so talented and so beautiful and I am out of words that it’s disgusting! You... You are so good to me. I am a little piece of shit and you are.. like this?! I don’t even deserve your attention, yet here you are. Looking for redeeming someone who got lost some time ago. You believe in me and somehow you managed to find some qualities in this rotten soul. I truly envy you, Lan Xichen, for living in such an ignorant bliss that it makes you look like a god or something of that sort.”   
Lan Xichen’s ears are red, a crimson red that Jiang Cheng has never seen. He looks down, his hands still holding Jiang Cheng’s.   
“... do you think I’m beautiful...?” Damn it. This fucking idiot.   
“Did I stutter? Wait. Don’t reply to that. I actually mean it.”   
“..oh. thank you.” In Jiang Cheng’s eyes, the Gusu Lan sect leader lost maybe 20 something years and he’s a teenager, again, impressed by a few nice words. Never mind the fact that he was slandered. He only remembered these compliments. With his head turned sideways, Jiang Cheng thinks he has never seen such an impressive and sharp profile. It’s so pretty, like it was carved. He refrains the urge to break the work of art, once again. He bites his lips until he draws blood. Are simple humans so needy on a daily basis? Xichen’s red ears are so endearing.. there’s something that Jiang Cheng wants to think it’s only him who saw that. It’s only him who made the older man so mushy and flushed. It’s only him who turned the other one into a flustered mess. Tell you the truth, he was a bit ashamed, too. It’s been a while since he was praised with so much passion. And he thinks Lan Xichen was sincere. Adds to the dramatic atmosphere.   
The Lan sect leader takes a deep breath and counts. One. Two. Three. He turns his face towards Jiang Cheng, feeling even more shy. He takes the younger’s hands. Breathes again, even deeper. A sigh escapes from his throat and he brings Jiang Cheng’s hands closer to his face. Once so soft and beautiful, his hands were scarred. ‘Still very pretty’, the sect leader thinks.   
“What the hell are you doing?” He doesn’t reply.   
He gazes into the almond eyes and tenderly kisses his hands then brings them to his forehead and downwards again for some more kisses. Even though he’s internally cursing, Jiang Cheng never retracts his hands. He enjoys the simple yet sweet gesture. He was promised help. Lan Xichen’s lips feel like silk on his skin which burns now from the intimate touch. A feather-like touch was enough to shut him up. But it doesn’t stop there. The Lan cultivator brings the hands to his face, in a cupping position, resting his chin on them. Jiang Cheng tenses up and tries his best to hold the other man’s head even though there was no need for that.   
“I-“ 

“A-Cheng, will you let gege take care of you and help you with your cultivation?”   
“What the f-“ 

“Gege promises to be good to you. He also promises to prepare better food and he will help you with your sect problems if you allow him to.”   
“What are you-“ 

“Please don’t make this gege sad again. Let him help.” Lan Xichen removes Jiang Cheng’s hands and instead, extends his hand. “Will you take gege’s hand? He offers you his help, one more time.”   
One more time. Just like Jiang Cheng wished for. His lips tremble. Fuck, this childish behavior of Lan Xichen really made him mushy and disgusting. Deep in his soul, he enjoyed it, he was currently dancing out of happiness, but hell on earth if anyone found out about that!   
“Stop talking like this. Yes. I could use some help.” Lan Xichen’s amber eyes light up and he presses kisses on the frail human’s hands again in front of him.   
Jiang Cheng’s face is all red and he seems like he can’t talk anymore. Lan Xichen takes his temperature, but he seems fine.   
“A-Cheng? A-Cheng? Is everything fine?” 

“..Perfectly fine.” Jiang Cheng screams as loud as he can in his head so he can calm down. Fucking Zidian, the idiot in front of him deserves a lash! 

Good news. Jiang Wanyin, Yunmeng Jiang sect leader has been offered help. One more time. Except that he makes a promise to himself. He is going to help Lan Xichen stop loathing himself as well.


	9. Liebing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng is home, at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Some self hate and swearing here, but safe to read if you can take the angst and the feelings aaaah; good prospects for the protagonist? Do you know why Lan Xichen played Liebing instead of a zither?

Jiang Cheng feels a bit ashamed of his current outfit. Gusu Lan clothes. Why, out of all the damn outfits in the world, did it have to be that?! Lan Xichen smiles while explaining for the nth time the reason why he’s dressed like that:

“Gusu Lan teaches self-restraint. This is what A-Cheng is going to learn, so those clothes are the proper ones to wear.”  
“Stop calling me A-Cheng in public. It’s embarassing. “  
“Okay. A-Cheng.” A soft giggle escapes the Gusu Lan sect leader. Jiang Cheng can’t even get mad. It became his favorite sound in the world. He only rolls his eyes and continues getting dressed.  
“It’s hard to carry the sword since I have no spiritual power.”  
“I will lend you some so we can have a head start.”  
“I’ll have to give it back to you some day or just repay you. How should I do that?”  
“Hmm, I’ll think of a way. Do not worry now! Shall we repeat the rules of the-“  
“This is Lotus Pier! No extremist rules here!”  
“Alright then.” Lan Xichen gets closer to Jiang Cheng with a wide smile plastered on his face. “How about...” He puts his hands on the younger’s shoulders, sliding them to the upper front of his outer robe. “... you teach me the Yunmeng Jiang rules?”   
And it works. Jiang Cheng blushes and looks the other way. Honestly, those amber eyes are killing him. The intense gaze makes him want to disobey rules, in general.  
“Just work hard. Do your best. Nothing is impossible.”  
“Then we shall do just that.” Lan Xichen retreats and exits Jiang Cheng’s bedchamber. Shaking his head, the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader follows him.

“Aaa, such a beautiful day! Where shall we train.”  
“Well, it depends on what you have in plan.”  
Lan Xichen turns around and sighs.   
“Wipe that frown off your face. We’re gonna do your favorite thing! Use our spiritual weapons.”  
“If you want me to use Zidian, we should get to the lotus lake. There’s a bridge there and.... the view is quite nice. Calms one’s mind.”  
“I like that! Please take us there, sect leader.”  
“Sometimes you’re so annoying, I feel like striking you with Zidian.”  
“I think you can put that whip... to a better use.”  
“Shameless! Where is your Gusu Lan restraint, huh?! Watch your words, sect leader!”  
“What? I think you are the one who has improper thoughts, A-Cheng.”   
The two of them arrive at the specified place. As usual, it’s quiet. He likes this place mostly because his parents used to drink tea in the nearby pavillion. The table and pillows are still there. He could... no, it feels too much. What if Lan Xichen thinks that’s inappropriate? Just the two of them so far away from the rest? Jiang Cheng would never want to give the wrong signals. He respects the other sect leader way too much. Dismissing the thoughts, he calls Zidian, but it stays unmoving as a ring. Lan Xichen sits on the ground and plays a song in Liebing. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know it, but he feels compelled to sit down, too. He watches the other cultivator, spellbound by the song. Without notice, Lan Xichen scouts closer until they look at each other’s face. ‘So the song calms the anger’, Jiang Cheng thinks. It’s oddly pleasant and he doesn’t have control over his body anymore. Maybe Lan Xichen’s cultivation is that good, but he could sit right it this position for eternity while listening to the magical sounds. In the next second, the world goes black.

Jiang Cheng is in the temple. How the fuck did he wake up here?  
He gets on his feet and inspects the place. Nothing out of the ordinary. But if he wanted to escape the dream, he had to find the odd thing in this whole situation. He looks at his hands and body and nothing seems weird. He walks around a bit. Nothing special here either. He snaps his hand and Zidian is summoned right into his palm. Okay. That’s it. He still has no feeling of any spiritual power, but he was able to summon this weapon. Just then, Wei Wuxian appears on his knees, right in front of him. He’s not in Lotus Pier anymore, but at the Burial Mounds.   
Wei Wuxian is bleeding and seems to be in great pain. He has the appearance of the Yiling Patriarch.   
“Just do it. Kill me. I destroyed the stygian tiger seal and still didn’t die. It’s your turn to torment me. There’s nobody here. Listen to what the cultivators told you. End me.”  
Zidian sparks in his hand, excited. Wei Wuxian has his arms and legs bounded with some sort of rope that keeps getting tighter. The color of his face gets drained more and more and he seems like he’s suffocating. It’s true. It’s the perfect moment to make him pay for what he has done to everyone. He has killed innocents and was responsible for the death of his whole family. Instead of that, he breaks Wei Wuxian’s restraint with Zidian, the other watching him incredulously.   
“Thank you for the golden core, shithead. You could at least have given me a stronger one.” But his brother starts throwing up blood and eventually falls to the ground, unconscious. When Jiang Cheng checks him out and notices he isn’t breathing, he starts yelling at him to wake up. But he lays there, in a puddle of blood. Dead. He couldn’t save him this time either.  
The scene changes and his parents are fighting the Wen dogs. He runs towards them and with the help of Zidian parries a few hits, but his parents get killed. Again. What a useless piece of shit he is!  
The scene changes for the last time. He expected to see his dying sister, but instead there is Jin Ling. He’s much younger. A pair of two big eyes are watching him attentively.  
“Uncle Jiang, you won’t hit me, right?” He looks at his own hand, disgusted and throws the whip far away.   
“No, of course not. Come here. Let me hug you.”  
“Then why are you hurt, uncle? Why did you do that to yourself?” Jin Ling doesn’t approach him and keeps the distance. Jiang Cheng’s clothes suddenly feels wet and have a metal-like odor. When he takes a look, he’s drenched in blood. His own blood, the blood from the powerful and merciless hits of Zidian. His whole body hurts and he falls to his knees, shaking.  
‘It’s just a dream’, he repeats to himself, yet it feels so real.   
“Fucking idiot, get your shit together!” He picks up Zidian and notices he’s been on a bridge this whole time. He snaps the whip, breaking the bridge, resulting in him falling into an abyss and-

“A-Cheng. A-Cheng, wake up. A-Cheng.”  
This voice, it’s so gentle. And the person who talks smells like sandalwood. It’s so pleasant. He smiles and slowly opens his eyes. Lan Xichen is watching him worried, bent over his chest. He doesn’t move and doesn’t say anything. He stares at the other cultivator who stares back. He has a bit of spiritual power and he knows it’s his and not Lan Xichen’s borrowed one. It’s comes from his own golden core. Nothing was his fault. Not Lotus Pier falling down, not his sister’s death, not Wei Wuxian’s. It happened and he was just there. He couldn’t help even if he were the most powerful man. It was meant to happen that way. He sighs, directing his attention towards Lan Xichen. The whole fault that would be entirely his was, just like he said, the second fall of the Yunmeng Jiang sect. And if Lan Xichen started to hate him. He’d be guilty of that, too.  
He can’t have children. He would never sleep with a woman. At least not now. There’s someone else in his heart and has been for a long time. He feels it won’t ever change. And it’s a man. The bastard was too blind and too infatuated with a lying criminal to notice him. Besides... he didn’t take any step towards him. Of course he wouldn’t notice. Jiang Cheng wants to kiss him so badly, but he can’t. He doesn’t think the other harbors the same feelings for him. Tears escape his eyes and the one is flabbergasted. What’s wrong with him? He can’t reply either.   
He wants to be kept in Lan Xichen’s protective arms for the rest of his life. He wants his scarred hands to be touched and held only by the one in front of him. He wants his head to be petted and caressed. A sigh escapes his lips. Oh, Lan Xichen. ‘I think I like you, Lan Huan’, Jiang Wanyin thinks. And only thinks as he doesn’t dare to voice out those things. He opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. After a while, while Lan Xichen had been uncharacteristically dead quiet, Jiang Cheng spoke:  
“Thank you. I can feel my spiritual power. I can feel the golden core. It’s there.” A warm sensation has filled the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader to the brim.  
The Gusu Lan sect leader seemed to experience a lot of emotions: fear, happiness, thankfulness and ??? There was something more. Something that couldn’t be described so easily.   
“It was you who brought it back. I just was there to catch you when you fell.” And truth was this sect leader has his head in the other’s lap! And he only noticed now! What a shame! What-  
Lan Xichen’s gentle and soft hands caress his face. It feels so good. It feels... like home. Jiang Cheng has been on a long road and he just came back home. He was tired. But also overjoyed. Not too tired for a cup of tea and some lotus pods though. He suggested that they talk about things while watching the sunset and only then he noticed a whole day passed.  
“Uh, sect leader Lan. H-how much time did you sing for me?”  
“I can’t remember”, he replies, smiling. But the yawn Lan Xichen lets out tells him he’s tired.   
“I’m sorry. If I knew-“  
“You wouldn’t have done it? You would have woken up? Would you have been able to do any of those?”  
Smartass. These Lan people really like to act so highly. 

Jiang Cheng thinks again. He thinks he’s thinking too much these days! He gazes at the Gusu Lan cultivator. Such a beautiful appearance he has in the light of the sunset. He takes a sip of the tea.   
“It’s your recipe for tea, Xichen-ge.”  
“How did you know that?”  
“When I went to Gusu and we had to discuss sect matters, you offered me a tea that tasted exactly like this. You said you made it.”  
“Well, it looks like I got caught.” The amber eyes were even more attractive in this light. “Do you like it?”  
“I do. It’s good. I can’t prepare tea.”  
“I can teach you.”  
“No need. You can prepare it while you are here.”  
“I’m surprised you remember that.”  
Of course he’d remember that! Who does he think he is? Jiang Cheng is deep into this matter.  
“I have a sharp memory.”  
“But you forgot to tie your hair today.”  
“Did I? Oh.” Jiang Cheng touches it and notices it was clearly undone. “You should have told me. I probably look like a beast.”  
“I don’t mind that. I like your hair.”  
Fuck. He’s blushing again. But... Lan Xichen’s ears are red, too!  
“Zewu-Jun.. why are you ashamed? Aren’t you usually courteous and really kind to others? It’s just a compliment.”  
“I think it’s the tea. It was too hot.”  
Jiang Cheng laughs wholeheartedly and enjoys the moment. It feels good to be back, mind and soul. Besides that... Lan Xichen is here, too so his heart is ecstatic, too.  
In the distance, the sun sets and the lotus lake is dressed up in various impressive colors, just like in a painting. The stillness of Lotus Pier is comforting. Soon enough, he will be busy again so he takes the time to enjoy the laziness he is allowed for now. He looks at Lan Xichen’s dashing profile. One more time.


	10. Child in Lotus Pier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng take their time to learn about each other. The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader thinks he went overboard and makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! Kinda late update, but I was thinking about creating this bridge to clarify a few things and dispel the ‘Jiang Cheng has an iceberg instead of a heart’ idea. Kinda fluffy, a bit sad towards the end. Safe to read, I think. Mentions of death though.

Jiang Cheng wakes up, the smell of Lan Xichen’s tea getting printed in his head. It has such a different and mesmerizing odor, that one couldn’t miss it. At least Jiang Cheng would not. Do not misunderstand! He is not the biggest fan of tea or Lan Xichen’s tea at that. It’s a good tea! That’s all! Like he has never tasted before!

“A-Cheng, did you wake up? Can I come in?”  
“Yes!” Oh no, he sounded too excited. Fixing his tone, he continued. “You can come in, gege.”

Uhm. Yeah, so Jiang Cheng, in the span of a few weeks, began calling Lan Xichen gege. Well... they were friends right?! And Lan Xichen was older so gege was alright, isn’t it? This humble cultivator forgot to mention it. Nobody minded it, though. He would’ve cut his disciples’ tongues if they dared to gossip anyways. And Xichen-ge would have lied if he said he didn’t like it. He enjoyed it a lot, but his composed face didn’t give out anything. Well, if his ears didn’t get red, he wouldn’t have guessed. But Jiang Cheng is both intelligent and perceptive and he doesn’t miss a chance to understand and notice each and every gesture Lan Xichen makes.   
For example, Jiang Cheng was training with his sword, one early morning, because he couldn’t sleep. He didn’t sleep because he kept thinking about his gege’s endearing smile! Not at all! He was just deep into some sect issues like.. uh... the lack of lotus pods! Yes! A very important matter to fight for. So he woke up and started training as intense as he could in order to put his thoughts in order. And Lan Xichen was up, too because of Gusu Lan’s sect weird sleeping hours. Jiang Cheng noticed the man just woke up and how his hair flowing around and he was strolling around to shake off the sleep. Lan Xichen took his eyes off the ground and looked at his shidi (since when do they address so familiarly when talking about each other? This cultivator also forgot to mention they began cultivating together, he will get back to it) and he swept a strand of hair behind his ear. Jiang Cheng missed a step when attacking with his sword and lost his footing, landing on the ground with a loud thud. Lan Xichen was still half-asleep (may he mention he grew a little lazy since he started spending time with his shidi?) and reacted way too late. He only noticed the fall when Sandu was dropped on the wooden floor with a loud clang. He ran towards Jiang Cheng when he was already mumbling angry that the ground was too close. Yes, Lan Xichen was wearing his hair down around Jiang Cheng sometimes. Nothing weird here!

Okay so this humble cultivator should explain how he started cultivating in Lotus Pier. It’s not such a long story.  
Lan Xichen decided he’d help Jiang Cheng get all his spiritual power back and strengthen his golden core. The younger accepted without too much fight. They had that out-of-this-world experience and then they began training right away. There was a big gathering of students at Zewu-Jun’s door the next morning, begging him to teach them how to play a guqin. Jiang Cheng yelled at them and they dispersed pretty fast, but a little child stood there, unwilling to go anywhere. There was something suspicious about him. After a second glance, Lan Xichen noticed he didn’t wear the sect’s clothes.   
“Oh? Hello, little child. What are you doing here?” The child was quiet, but his eyes were staring at Lan Xichen like he stole something from him.  
“Help gege.”  
“Oh?” Zewu-Jun was quite surprised that the young boy’s words were these. “Who’s gege?”  
“Sandu Shengshou-gege.” A warm smile spreaded on the cultivator’s face.  
“You came here to tell me exactly this?”  
“Yes. Gege, help my other gege please.”  
“I will, I will. But why do you insist?”  
“Gege saved me and my mother.”  
Oh.  
Jiang Cheng noticed the kid and immediately took him in his arms.  
“What did I tell you? I said you’d talk to gege as soon as he got ready.”  
“Sorry, gege.”  
“Go and play with your friends. Gege is busy now.”  
“Give me a hug.”  
“Okay.” Jiang Cheng hugged the little man in his arms with a fondness Lan Xichen has seen a few times:  
1.When Jiang Cheng attended Wei Wuxian’s wedding with Lan Wangji.  
2.When Jin Ling smiled at him after being bought a dog.  
3.When Lan Xichen came to-  
When-  
He-  
“A-Cheng... can we talk?”  
Even though he asked for that, he couldn’t pose the question. The words died in his throat and he just assumed it was all a product of his imagination and shrugged it off. But then, Lan Xichen became keen on helping Jiang Cheng and he did his best, tiring himself so much that at night he’d fall asleep almost immediately. Soon enough, Jiang Cheng’s golden core was strong enough for him to train by himself at times.   
Meanwhile, Zewu-Jun didn’t forget to ask about the origin of the child.  
“Well, there was a siege on a town outside Yunmeng, but we were informed that there were a lot of women and children living there. I immediately went to rescue them, but the attackers were faster. When they were moving on killing the last batch of people, I stopped them. This particular small family that consisted in the child you have seen and the mother had their house burnt to the ground. I felt sorry and I took them to Lotus Pier. The mother refused to live here, but she wanted me to train her boy. I told her he was too small, but she made me promise I’d keep him in until he became old enough to be a disciple. I.. I couldn’t refuse. Anyone in their right mind would have done the same thing.”  
Lan Xichen was looking at the ground, unable to talk.  
Wasn’t that the same thing Wei-gongze and Lan Wangji did? This.. this man... huh. He wasn’t that different from his brother.   
Not only that he risked his reputation in the sect, but also risked losing Yunmeng’s trust in the Jiang clan. But he didn’t mind it at all. He just did what he thought it was right. Lan Xichen respected that with a passion.   
He had to admit it. He was too scared to do such a thing. He cared about others’ opinions maybe a little too much and wouldn’t want to offend his sect which was very restrictive in selecting its disciples. His younger brother has been severely criticized for bringing Sizhui in. He wouldn’t have survived such a big stain on his name. His brother lived through it and even shut the others up with his upright attitude. It’s not that he disobeys rules either, but he doesn’t have the same firmness as his brother. He has a rather diplomatic approach to any problem he encounters.  
Sandu Shengshou. Jiang Cheng. A-Cheng. This one man held so much power over his being.  
With only one simple action he made Lan Xichen want to be a better person. He couldn’t explain the feeling. It was burning his organs, his skin, his hair. Lan Xichen felt like it was suffocating him at times. He had to let it out, to tell someone about it, but he didn’t understand it either, so there was nothing to discuss. Yet.

So Lan Xichen comes in, with his hair undone, again.  
“Gege, what did you bring me today?”  
“Nothing special, just tea and some pastries. I fell asleep late last night so I woke up just a few minutes ago. I just brought something from the kitchen along with the tea I made. Please excuse me, A-Cheng. This cultivator has been reckless.”  
“Why did you go to sleep late? You never do that.”  
And there was one more question that had to be asked. One that irked Jiang Cheng a lot.  
“You went to the kitchen with your hair undone?” A wave of jealousy washed the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader.  
“No. I have just put it down. I thought you’d like it and forgive me.”  
He-  
“Gege, you never fail to surprise me.”  
“You don’t like when I keep my hair like this?”  
Jiang Cheng blushed like he was running a fever.  
“It’s fine! I guess..”  
“So will you forgive my imprudence?”  
“Not before you reply to my first question.”  
“I know I promised not to leave Lotus Pier without telling you, but I really wanted to inspect the place we talked about. I learned a lot of things about it. We can discuss if you want to. I know you’re angry, but please forgive this cultivator.”  
The Jiang cultivator softened. How could he be mad with such a pure and well-intentioned person.   
“It’s fine. Tell me about the case.”  
“While I was in this night hunt, I dressed up in black clothes and-“  
Black clothes. Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng felt like burying himself under a mountain.  
“-and so I had my identity hidden. I went to the house by the river, outside Yunmeng, being as discreet as I could. The place reeked of resentful energy. I sneaked around and on a closer look, there were several resentful spirits floating around, casually talking. To be honest, I have never seen such a scene in my whole life. I have witnessed these spirits attacking, possessing others, ripping humans’ bodies, but not discussing like that. One of them mentioned just the siege we talked about some time ago. It seems like they were well-informed on it and ... you, as well. They also mentioned something about another attack, but they weren’t a part of the action. They just observed the whole situation. I didn’t dare to reveal myself and ask for details, but I deduced they had knowledge of the matter. One of them also mentioned the ghoul situation, but the others weren’t aware of it. I’m afraid they were the spirits of the people who died in these tragic events.”  
“How many of them did you see?”  
“A bunch. Maybe around eight.”  
“Shit. There is a disturbance. We shall find out why didn’t they pass to the other side.”  
“Besides those sad occurrences they talked about and we know of, there wasn’t anything else they knew and we did not. It’s been quiet since you came back, sect leader.” With a cheeky grin, Lan Xichen praised Jiang Cheng like he used to on a daily basis. He was used to this humiliation, but he also grew to like it a lot. He rolled his eyes, not betraying a thing and started:  
“Well. I might need your help for this night hunt, Zewu-Jun.”  
“Would you need me to play Inquiry for them, too?”  
“If possible, yes, please.”  
“Of course. I was wondering.. can we wear black clothes again? I know I am not supposed to break the rules by wearing a different color, but you won’t snitch, right?”  
“Hmm. I think you need to pay that back.”  
“How?”  
“Come here.” Jiang Cheng was already done with his meal so he put the plate and the cups aside. He was sitting on the bed. “Let me style your hair.”  
“???”  
“Please. It’s so long and... pretty.”  
“... okay.”

Jiang Cheng never asked to touch Zewu-Jun’s hair. Like ever. He was sometimes holding his hand for research purposes and caressing his face until he fell asleep, but all these in a friendly way! You weren’t supposed to touch the Gusu Lan clan’s hair or ribbon of the disciples. And they shouldn’t disobey the rules by untying their hair or taking down their ribbons around others than family either.  
But Lan Xichen did just that. He took off his forehead ribbon.  
“??? You can put it back. I can style it with it on!”  
“It’s alright. It will be easier for you.”  
But the ribbon... it was sacred... Jiang Cheng sucked the emotions up and made courage to ask a question.  
“Isn’t it really important? Just what am I to you that you take it off easily like that?”  
“We’re... very good friends!!! You’re like family to me.”  
Ouch. Jiang Cheng didn’t ask about it anymore.  
He put the Lan’s cultivator hair in a ponytail, like he never wore it before. The ponytail was inky black and very long. And so beautiful. The hair was soft and resembled the feathers of a very pretty raven. The wind blew it, creating a gorgeous series of black waves.   
“Tie it for me.” Jiang Cheng didn’t dare to refuse. He tied the ribbon, diligently, careful not to get it crooked. Lan Xichen looked in the mirror, shaking his head only to watch his hair flow around.  
“I like it! Thank you, A-Cheng.” A heartwarming hug surprised the younger man, but again, he didn’t comment on it. Those moments weren’t something to just toss aside. Jiang Cheng treasured them in his heart. The smell of sandalwood invaded his nostrils and he hugged back, a bit too tightly. Lan Xichen didn’t utter a word. He was enjoying it.  
They both sat on the bed, afterwards, waiting for one of them to speak up first. Little did they know they wanted to talk about the same thing. Unfortunately, none of them had the courage to do so. More scared than the bunnies in Cloud Recesses. Completely in disharmony with his heart, Jiang Cheng’s mind let out some words: “Let’s find black outfits for the both of us. Adds to the stealth.”  
“Yeah, for sure! We should go.”  
Only for a second, Lan Xichen’s hand brushed Jiang Cheng’s. The touch hurt this time, it didn’t feel like a blessing as it usually did. Something in the atmosphere changed and Zewu-Jun felt the rigidity of Sandu Shengshou. He was worried, but neither his feelings resurfaced in that moment.


	11. Ribbon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Xichen allows Jiang Cheng an intimate gesture. He thinks it’s worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Mentions of death. Oh guys!!! Are we actually getting some action?? Was Jiang Cheng that blind when he read Jin Ling’s title? Haha we’ll see how this night turns out to be for both of them in the next chapter.

Jiang Cheng feels unusually comfortable in those black clothes. He chose a material close to what Wei Wuxian would wear and he .... kinda liked it.

It’s not that he liked his brother’s attire! Not at all. The purple Jiang sect uniform was much more ellegant. The black attire was just.. more comfortable.  
Lan Xichen chose a rather... unique style..   
“Um. Xichen-ge... are you sure those are practical?”  
Lan Xichen was dressed in a similar outfit to his original clothes. The difference was that... they were black. Long sleeves, long outer clothes, inner robes fitted around his waist. What a tiny waist! Jiang Cheng was surprised that a broad back could be matched with such a small and delicate waist. Huh. He probably was well-built, this Gusu Lan show-off. He rolled his eyes after realizing he might have stared a little too much.  
“What? Don’t you like them? I look like a rog-really cool cultivator!” Dodged a blast. It was not like the word rogue was that bad, but he didn’t intend to seem that he disregarded Wei Wuxian. He didn’t actually, at all.  
“They’re fine. Come on. Let’s move.”

Getting closer to the outskirts of Yunmeng, the resentful energy could be already sensed. Maybe more spirits gathered there to have a chat. Unlike some prudent ghosts so maybe they weren’t much of a threat. Or did they just nonchalantly believe they were powerful enough to take everyone down?  
The house Lan Xichen described was just in front of them, next to the river bank. Since the night already fell, it should be easier to hide in the shadows.  
They sneaked around and pressed against a wall, crouching down. Slowly raising to get on the level of a window, the younger cultivator noticed with amusement that the resentful spirits were just.... some ghost fires. Even less dangerous than the ones that Wei Wuxian once controlled. It was said that the latest that have been mentioned would only strike on one’s command. The current ones only seemed to have control over themselves, but they looked totally harmless.  
“This is what was concerning to you.., Lan Xichen?”  
“Yes! Listen to what they are saying.”  
Once again, Jiang Cheng crouched down and listened to the rather quiet chatter inside.  
‘I have heard that Sandu Shengshou has received a new disciple!’  
For a second, Lan Xichen grew anxious. Did they plan to attack the mother and the child? His Shuoyue was ready to attack. What they said next calmed him a bit.  
‘Right! And it’s an old guy! I heard he’s so old, he barely walks straight!’  
‘Hahaha that’s a good one! I feel like our sect leader has grown too soft. Was it the old man who did that to him?’  
Jiang Cheng looked at his feet in defeat. He felt like something changed since Lan Xichen came, too. He didn’t yell at his disciples that much anymore. He didn’t feel the need to scold Jin Ling who was rarely coming these days (what is that kid even doing?). He didn’t eat alone anymore, sometimes he’d even ask for his students to eat breakfast all together. He seldom smiles, but now it does not feel weird or awkward at all. He takes time to enjoy the good things happening to him. Like Zewu-Jun.  
Jiang Cheng gives it another thought. Yes, Zewu-Jun is a good thing that happened to him. He strengthened his golden core and regained spiritual powers. He trained many disciples successfully into being both talented at archery and fine arts such as painting and playing instruments. He gave his life a significance.   
But even though he thinks it was Zewu-Jun who helped him through these times the most, the Gusu Lan sect leader insists it was only the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader who pushed himself back on his feet. Without any will to live and do better, Jiang Cheng would have stayed on the wooden bridge, his tears rolling down his cheeks while being sorry about his past mistakes. But he decided there was something he could do. That maybe he could gain some of his past happiness back. He’d say ‘Come on, Jiang Cheng. One more time!’  
But Lan Xichen changed as well. While he wasn’t looking, he stole glances at the younger cultivator. He had an exceedingly high level of resentment towards himself until he was told he should stop. He should stop worrying and being stuck in the past. Jiang Cheng shook him awake. It was like he was given a reason to get up and fight again, regain his confidence. He had to fight to help Jiang Cheng rebuild his sect and properly this time. He helped regain the peace of his soul. At least partially, that is. He wasn’t feeling remorse. He saved this one. He did a good thing. And he’ll continue to help. After each good thing he did that left him exhausted he’d just coax himself to keep fighting because it was all worth it: the smiles of the ones he helped, their thankfulness, Jiang Cheng’s good spirits. He’d say ‘Come on, Lan Xichen. Let’s go. One more time!’  
Jiang Cheng turned his head towards Lan Xichen and as they stared at each other, the Lan sect leader flashed a big smile. The corners of the younger’s lips turned upwards and he nodded. Time to seize and question those spirits.  
Jiang Cheng moved his right leg and sprinted towards the door, Lan Xichen immediately following him. With a hand move, Jiang Cheng let Zidian out and binded all the spirits that took the form of four men, in an instant. Lan Xichen sat on the floor, summoning his guqin, with the fiercest gaze he could muster.   
The four men started whaling for help with an incoherent collective voice. Zewu-Jun silenced all of them and waited for the four to calm down. When they were successfully subdued, Lan Xichen only let one of them speak.  
“Gongzi! We didn’t want to create trouble! Please forgive these lowly ghosts and let us go!”  
“Well, sir, why are you here?”  
“Our families are still alive. We died in previous attacks against Yunmeng. Most of them were ended by our esteemed sect leader, but like the one that happened recently, it was too fast and even his Highness couldn’t stop it.”  
“I deeply apologized for that. I even kowtowed!”  
“We know, mighty sect leader! But we couldn’t leave our families like this. You disappeared at some point and we were worried! But we see that Your Eminence is just fine so we can leave this world!”  
“I heard your gossip.”  
“Oh, Sandu Shengshou-gongzi! Please, forgive our lowly souls! We were only left with the ability to talk after we died. We have always been this cheeky. Hence why we died. We didn’t believe the attackers would be that intelligent and outsmart all the Yunmeng Jiang disciples! We didn’t think too far.”  
Something was off. Lan Xichen noticed it.  
“Then I should send all these masters on their ways.”  
The four men didn’t seem to be against it. Only one protested, asking to speak. Lan Xichen raised one more spell.  
“Please! My family now lives in Yunmeng by the grace of our mighty sect leader! Take care of them, I only have my wife and child. “  
A fire was lit up in Jiang Cheng’s eyes.  
“The name of your child?”  
“Da Hung. Yin Da Hung.”  
Lan Xichen glanced at the other cultivator. “Is it little A-Hung?”  
Jiang Cheng’s held a hand in a fist, his knuckles turning white.  
“You know him, gongzi? How is my boy doing?”  
“Well. He is determined. He promised me to be a powerful man when he grows up.”  
“Silly A-Hung. Please do not mind him, mighty sect leader! He means no disrespect. He really wants to become an esteemed cultivator.”  
“And so will he. That’s my promise.” Lan Xichen has never seen the other man so sure when he promised something. He knew the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader always kept his promises. But the intensity of his emotions in that moment reached Lan Xichen in a moment.   
“A-Cheng. A-Cheng, everything is fine.”   
“I beg this great sect leader to understand nobody in my town blamed his enlightened mind to have acted like he did. It was for the best. If your highness wasn’t that fast, nobody would have been saved. The enemy only wished to steal and didn’t expect us to be so numerous and they planned to kill us. It was none of your fault. It happened outside Yunmeng.”  
“I promise to take care of the child like it’s my own.”  
“Many thanks from this humble one! Shamelessly, I have one more request.”  
“Do tell, master.” The revelation made Jiang Cheng act polite?  
“My wife will die soon because she is very sick. He has always been sick and even the doctors told us there was no remedy. I ask this enlightened one to bury my wife properly even though she is a lowly life.”  
“Do not worry, master. I will do just that.” Jiang Cheng bowed deeply before regaining his composure. A tear fell down his cheek.  
“Please take care of my child like it’s your own, sect leader! I am begging you. He shouldn’t feel he is alone in this world. I feel sorry for him. I wasn’t a good father.”  
“Nothing to worry about, master. I made a promise.”  
“I know sect leader always speaks the truth. That’s why I am at peace.”  
With all the spells broken, the other two didn’t have special requests. They were young and their families were alive and well. They only wished for peace in Yunmeng.  
Both Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng promised to have kind hearts and fend off the evil. The four masters were then ready to pass to their next life.  
Lan Xichen recited prayers, sober and with a good sense of duty, sending them off. Zidian was released and they all vanished into thin air.  
“Do you think there was someone who wanted to disrupt the peace of Yunmeng?”  
“A-Cheng. I do not think that’s the case. The pattern of the attacks is really uncertain. There doesn’t seem to be a meaning. There were just robbers who ripped the poor off their belongings.”  
“You think so?”  
“We can investigate in another day. You’re exhausted now. You should rest.”  
“Alright. Let’s go back.”

  
Lan Xichen heard himself get called in the middle of the night. He fastly took the way of Jiang Cheng’s bedchambers.  
“You asked for me?”  
“Yes. Sleep in this pavilion tonight, gege.”  
All color was drained from the older’s face. Instead, the tips of his ears were crimson red. Jiang Cheng was calm.  
“Why? Did anything happen, A-Cheng?”  
“These ghosts. It was a bit of a haunting experience. I might get bad dreams and I... I want you to stay with me.”  
“..”  
“Please.” Jiang Cheng used the puppy eyes technique! It’s very effective.  
“Okay. I will do so.”  
“Your room is next to mine.”  
“Thank you for your kindness.. sect leader.” Before turning to leave, Jiang Cheng called again.  
“Gege.”  
“Yes, A-Cheng?”  
“Don’t cut your hair. It’s so beautiful when it’s let down like this. Oh! I remembered.”  
Jiang Cheng left his bed and tiptoed to where Lan Xichen was standing. He touched the latter’s face and his heart softened. He took his hands and kissed them gingerly. He reched for the forehead ribbon of the Gusu Lan cultivator, but Zewu-Jun was hesitating. After a short while, he approached Jiang Cheng and let him do it. He was extremely gentle while he was undoing the knot. Afterwards, Jiang Cheng handed the Lan cultivator his ribbon.  
Lan Xichen gave it back to Jiang Cheng.   
“You keep it. I’ll come back for it tomorrow.”  
“You do realise what this means, right?”  
“Did you realise what you were doing when you reached to take it down?” Both of them went quiet.   
“Don’t mention it tomorrow in a mocking tone. Actually. Don’t mention these at all. I might get embarassed.”  
“You look adorable when you’re like that.”  
“LAN XICHEN! ZIDIAN WILL LAND ON YOUR FACE IF YOU DON’T GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW!”   
Zewu-Jun was laughing so hard that he barely noticed someone approaching. The person seemed to be too busy to notice the commotion. He handed a letter to his sect leader and left in a haste. Jiang Cheng noticed the name on it. Jin Ling, future sect leader of LanLing Jin.  
Nothing fazed him and he just tossed it aside on a table.   
“We should really sleep, A-Cheng. It’s very late. You’ll be late to the students’ classes.”  
“Of course. I will sleep soon, gege. I’ll keep the ribbon well.”  
“I trust you to do so.” They smiled softly at each other and went to their rooms, unaware of what was going to happen.


	12. Love Potion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen are tricked into spending time with each other. None of them expected it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Self hate, not too much though. Ah, the two lovebirds are finally together, but can’t explain what they feel... what to do... JinLing brought some amazing news, though, should we be happy? :d attention! Exceedingly long chapter!!

When he woke up, Lan Xichen had a lot of questions.

The first one was, of course, the most obvious. Why was he in Jiang Cheng’s pavilion?  
He looked around and nothing seemed out of place. He felt for his ribbon..  
HIS FOREHEAD RIBBON! WHERE IS IT?!  
He panicked and paced around. He searched every corner of the room, but it was nowhere to be seen.  
“Hey, gege. What are you moving around for? It’s still so early. We went to bed late last night.”  
WE??!!!! AND ON EVERY POSSIBLE EXISTING GOD! JIANG CHENG HAD HIS HAIR TIED WITH HIS FOREHEAD RIBBON!  
Lan Xichen sat on the bed, defeated. How wouldn’t he remember such important things? Was he sleep walking? What has this dumb cultivator been doing? What was wrong with him?  
But then, a memory flashed in his mind. Did it really happen like that? Did he... really.. offer ... Jiang Cheng... his ribbon...  
“Gege, are you okay?”  
Jiang Cheng came into his sight again. Only then he noticed the attire of the sect leader.  
!!!!!!!!!!!  
Lan Xichen swear he could faint. HE WAS WEARING LAN UNDERCLOTHES!

Assuming there was an extorsion in time. Lan Xichen lost his minds and has magnanimous dream. What could be done? He could slap himself across his face to figure out what was going on. He could go in a seclusion.. no no, that’s not viable. He could...   
Well. He landed a perfect slap on his perfect face.   
Nothing happened. Lan Xichen wasn’t dreaming. The events of the time he spent in Lotus Pier come back in a wave. He...he dared to act flirtatious with such an imposing sect leader! He might have gone mad! He must have drunk something. But the curious things didn’t stop there. Jiang Cheng approached the bed and sat next to him, a hand brushing his face and hair and another one... HOLDING HIS HAND! Zewu-Jun was really on the verge of passing out when a few voices could be heard from outside.  
‘Hey! Where’s sect leader?’  
‘He didn’t wake up.’  
‘Ah, that’s fine. Come on, we have sword practice, let’s fight each other until he comes!’  
‘Yeah, come on!’  
“See? The students are fine. Even without us.”  
Jiang Cheng brought Lan Xichen’s hand to his lips and kissed it gingerly, a blush spreading across his face. He stared into Zewu-Jun’s eyes with an unreadable expression.  
Only then Lan Xichen noticed there was something wrong.  
Jiang Cheng’s pupils were excessively dilated. The grey eyes were almost entirely invaded by the blackness of his pupils. A love potion. Who could have done...  
Ah. The students.  
But when did Jiang Cheng drink it?  
The tea. Last night. There was a teapot in Jiang Cheng’s room when he came. It should wear off in four days. But until then he has to deal with a lovestruck Jiang Cheng.  
But the potion only amplifies one’s feelings. Is it possible that he- nonono. There’s no chance. He’s too serious, his features so sharp, nothing to like about him.  
Jiang Cheng waves his hand and shuts all the doors and windows.   
!!!  
“Sect leader Jiang! What are you doing?”  
“Let me enjoy the Lan beauty.”  
“!!! Sect leader!”  
If he remembers correctly, Jiang Cheng complimented him for the whole time he spent in Yunmeng. He didn’t think it was weird, he was still acting like an embarassed mess after he said those nice things. But this time Jiang Cheng was unrestrained. It was different.  
“Jiang Wanyin! What are you doing?!” The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader draped a leg over Lan Xichen’s lap. He supoorted himself using his knees, both on the sides of Lan Xichen’s legs. He was a bit taller than the older like this. Using a finger to tilt the other cultivator’s head upwards, Jiang Cheng smiled mischievously.   
Lan Xichen had no idea where he had to put his hands. Staring helplessly at the other party, he had to admit that he was blessed with a strikingly handsome man. The beautiful curves of A-Cheng’s face.. a sight to behold. He felt like he was drunk. Maybe the actions of the other were the ones who got him drunk. Maybe when Jiang Cheng’s hands were holding his shoulders tightly. Maybe the hungry stare in Jiang Cheng’s eyes was the cause. He felt overwhelmed by the feelings he thought he managed to get bottled inside until today.  
The Gusu Lan sect leader thought himself to be an imposing, really strong and upright man. He thought that even though he wasn’t the best person ever, he was still very calm, collected and couldn’t have such improper thoughts. He was a sect leader so he was supposed to be different than the rest. None worldly pleasure should move him even the slightest. Even considering these, his barriers were falling down one by one. His control was put to test and even though and it was a potion and it was clouding Jiang Cheng’s mind, the younger would still remember everything when the effect is gone. How would he be regarded as after the effect was gone? Jiang Cheng is partially awake, how can he face himself?   
But an usual cultivator would be able to resist it. Considering his reactions, Jiang Cheng was under the influence of a low level potion. A high level one would be so strong that Jiang Cheng wouldn’t have been so calm, it would have eaten him inside until he did what the potion was intended for. A low level potion can be fought by an average cultivator if there was a will to fight it, that is. Sandu Shengshou doesn’t seem the type to refuse to fight it. Or.. does he? Lan Xichen checks for a fever. No, it’s a low level one. He shakes his head in disbelief. Was the golden core affected again? He extends a hand and feels Jiang Cheng’s circulation. They’re fine, both spiritual energy and golden core.   
Lan Xichen is still confused. How did he give Jiang Cheng’s his ribbon? Was he so convincing last night? Curious thing, to say the least.

Feeling the press of Jiang Cheng’s knees against his thighs, Zewu-Jun feels like he can’t keep his mask on. He’s a righteous man alright, but the younger cultivator is so alluring and his scent...  
THE SCENT! The potion was both in his perfume and tea. Lan Xichen’s head spins. He can fight it, but there’s a voice inside him that says he shouldn’t pretend anymore. He reluctantly puts his hands on Jiang Cheng’s waist.  
“Jiang Wanyin! You’ll wake up in four days and these will be gone! You might not feel the same towards me ever again. Are you sure?” The other grits his teeth and probabl thinks it through, because the passion he had a few seconds ago seemed to dissipate.   
“I am fucking sure. I haven’t been able to properly express my feelings before this. I know this isn’t the proper thing to do and Zewu-Jun will hate me for the rest of his life, but I don’t want to stop either. Reject me now or do not at all. Lan Huan, you know nothing about my heart!”  
“You’re right. I don’t. But you don’t know about mine either.”  
Jiang Cheng lowered his face and pressed a kiss on Lan Xichen’s lips, just to test the waters. Once again, time stops for both of them. It’s short, but Lan Xichen is left panting and wanting more. It’s a weird feeling, he thinks. He has been in love before but it didn’t feel like this. There’s something special in this new situation, something he quite enjoys a lot. Jiang Cheng doesn’t move anymore. He’s scared he did a bad thing and that Zewu-Jun will hate him for going overboard. He’s scared that he will be pushed away and left in the dirt, alone. He’s scared that he’ll want a taste of Zidian on his back again. Jiang Cheng just hopes that this cultivator won’t run away from him. Potion or not, he has his boundaries.  
Instead, the grip on his waist tightens. He gasps, more than surprised. A blush spreads across his face and he’s pulled into the other’s lap. Lan Xichen’s hands are hot, it feels like they will leave a print on his skin, through the clothes.   
The Gusu Lan sect leader lowers his head and kissing Jiang Cheng. Deeper. More passionate. Nobody has the courage to make the next step. Jiang Cheng puts his legs around Lan Xichen’s waist. As expected, it’s so tiny and delicate and he fears he might break him if he isn’t gentle. The kiss breaks slowly, both of them putting some distance in-between.  
“Xichen-ge. Lan Xichen. Is it the essence?”  
“No, it’s not that, A-Cheng.”  
The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader has hope. He looks into the other’s eyes and a shiver is sent down his spine. It would be a rather scary sight if Lan Xichen’s ears weren’t red and they weren’t pressed against each other. The older has his lips tightly shut, fierceness painted on his face. He rather looked like a tiger ready to attack.  
“Then what is it?” Lan Xichen’s mouth comes in contact with Jiang Cheng’s ear and slowly nibbles. “!!! Shameless!!!”  
“What? Is A-Cheng scared?” This idiot! Jiang Cheng will-   
Will what? He swallows his words when he feels a kiss being pressed on his neck and his eyes roll to the back of his head. Lan Xichen supports him with his hands, aware that Jiang Cheng’s hands couldn’t hold onto anything anymore.   
“If it feels uncomfortable or if you want us to stop, just tell me. Please.”  
“W-will do. P-please. Go on.” Jiang Cheng would go ten feet under after begging if it wasn’t the effect of the potion. These nasty children. He will have them kowtow later.  
Lan Xichen is gentle. He doesn’t bite and only kisses and licks around Jiang Cheng’s neck, careful not to leave any marks. He couldn’t have this sect leader dressed up in lovebites. Not yet. He moves his lips to the other’s chin, carefully placing small kisses here and there. Jiang Cheng tightens his grip around the older’s waist. It’s not much, but it already feels like it’s the most he has ever felt. He would undress right there and then, but he struggles to keep these thoughts and tendencies to the back. Did he ever have a lover that would worship his body so gently and in such a satisfying way?  
He remembers to be the only giving part. All the women he has met were on the receiving side and he always felt like he was missing the whole action of the act. But there was no emptiness in his soul, he was content, he felt happy.  
But what about Xichen-gege?!  
“Ah gege. Let.. ah... gege let me..”  
“What? What’s wrong? Should I stop?”  
“N-no. I.. I just want you to feel good as well.”   
Lan Xichen’s hungry stare dissipates into thin air and he smiles so brightly that Jiang Cheng might need an eye check later. Warm radiates from his soul and he’d be damned if there weren’t the other’s eyes getting wet.  
“You are so... so cute...”   
“Don’t call me cute! It’s embarrassing!”  
“But nobody will hear us.”  
“...”  
“You don’t have to do that, A-Cheng. It’s fine. I love doing this.” Maybe Lan Xichen’s eyes were only getting wet, but Jiang Cheng let two tears fall from his eyes.  
“Do you... really?”  
“Of course. I-“   
‘SECT LEADER! SECT LEADER! MASTER JIN LING IS HERE! HE SAYS IT’S URGENT! I DID NOT WANT TO BOTHER YOU, BUT HE SAID HE NEEDED YOU AND MASTER ZEWU-JUN!’  
Both of them jumped, scared that the over-excited student might burst into the room.   
“Fuck this shit. We were having a moment.”  
“A-Cheng, don’t be mad. Maybe Jin Ling came with urgent business. Let’s go talk to him.” They both got dressed up in official clothes and left the room to go to the Central Pavilion. The dream the fragrance sent them into was quickly dissipated. Lan Xichen suddenly felt extremely embarassed. He had his doubts about the fragrance, but didn’t dare to ask at the moment.

  
“Uncle Jiang. Zewu-Jun. Are you ready?”  
Both cultivators were dumbfounded. Lan Xichen was scratching his head, really confused of the current situation. He recalled he never forgot about anything he had to care of, let alone an inter-sect matter.   
A few Jiang disciples were around and they giggled, almost inaudibly. Jiang Cheng whipped his head in their direction and they all cowered in fear and fled. Lan Xichen started making connections. The little disciples were the ones who set them up and they knew it would make them confused. But how would they know... since there was only Jiang Cheng who drank the tea. Lan Xichen could have been absolved of the issue once Jiang Cheng’s perfume was gone. Unless it wasn’t the perfume. It was the incense. He faintly recalled incense burners being placed in both their rooms. Ah. Kids these days.   
“Master Jin Ling shall forgive us, for we do not know what you-“ Lan Xichen began, only to be interrupted by a fuming Jiang Cheng.  
“Was it the letter..?”  
“You didn’t read it, uncle?”  
“...”  
“Of course you did not. The title should have helped a bit. You didn’t pay attention to that either, masters?”  
“Title? A-Cheng? What’s-“  
“You-“ Jiang Cheng didn’t even register being called that name and proceeded to get angrier by each second that passed.   
What four days wear off of the poison? Jiang Cheng has sweated it off instantly. Lan Xichen was still new to the matter and he smiled politely and asked for an explanation, like he always did when he didn’t understand something.  
“My apologies, Zewu-Jun. I should have explained it. Do not be mad with this humble disciple. I have invited both your eminence and my uncle to the banquet held for my promotion.”  
Oh, that’s-   
PROMOTION?! Didn’t he just become a-  
“Lanling Jin sect leader, please forget my imprudence. I have not known this event would come so soon. In my eyes you are still a young master. I respect the fact that you came here to invite both me and Yunmeng Jiang sect leader and we gladly-“  
“You should have told me! Personally! Not through a fucking letter!”  
“Jiang Wanying, please calm down.”  
“Am I not right?!”  
“Please, A-Cheng, it’s not so imp-“  
“HOW ISN’T IT IMPORTANT? MY NEPHEW BECAME A SECT LEADER AND FORGOT TO UPDATE ME ON THE MATTER! HE THOUGHT I AM NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO BE INFORMED!”  
Both older sect leaders were left dumbfounded when JinLing sat on the ground and kowtowed in front of them, talking to them from the place where he stood:  
“I beg uncle to forgive this humble disciple and my insensitivity. I beg Zewu-Jun to forgive this humble disciple for not informing him earlier when he was supposed to. Please, I beg both sect leaders to not be mad with this disciple for he was wrong.”  
JinLing.. begging? Was the poison not gone yet? Jiang Cheng didn’t believe his eyes. He didn’t react at all because there was nothing to do really!  
Lan Xichen looked from one to the other, wondering who he should warm up to.   
“Sect leader...”, he whispered to Jiang Cheng. “I think you should make him get up.”  
Jiang Cheng looked at Lan Xichen bewildered. Get up? Oh shit! Right!  
“Please, forgive-“  
Jiang Cheng sat on the ground next to him and caught his hands before he kowtowed again.  
“Hey, kid, don’t do this again. It’s fine. I was just... I didn’t realise you grew up so fast.”  
JinLing was incredulously watching his uncle. He was pulled in a tight hug. The big and bad man started crying.   
“I’m sorry, kid. I should have been more careful when watching you. I had no idea you were so burdened with problems. This old man only thought about himself.”  
Jiang Cheng broke. The external “mean sect leader” shell turned into dust.  
“Don’t be mad with this old man. You’re a big guy, too. You did amazing. This uncle is.. is.. v-very proud of you, young man.”  
JinLing started crying, too. He hugged his   
Shūshu tightly and asked for forgiveness for something he clearly didn’t do. The scene seemed way too intimate for him and he decided to walk away.  
“Lan Xichen.” He stopped walking. A low voice called for him. “Xichen-gege.”  
“???” He couldn’t ... but there was no other Lan Xichen around. Or was it?!!  
“Lan Huan. Come here.” Nope, that was definitely him.  
Lan Xichen slowly approached the two hugging each other. They broke their hug and extended their arms towards him.   
“???” What was wrong? Did he do anything bad?  
“Lan Xichen, are you dumb or what? Come here.”  
Lan Xichen sat on his knees next to them. Jiang Cheng pulled him into the hug.  
“?????????” A tear fell down. Was it his?  
“Don’t be so dense. You’re a part of this family, be it your will or not. I decided that and so it is. Got it?”  
Lan Xichen was never ‘asked’ to be a part of a family. Let it be such an influential and powerful family. Tears started falling down his cheeks incessantly. He tried to wipe them furiously. Last time someone showed him kindness without being asked, happened long ago.  
Jiang Cheng was supposed to be a stranger to him! But he’s so warm and he kissed him, they held each other. Jiang Cheng told him nice things and complimented his looks without being polite. Jiang Cheng stayed true to his words and respected him and Lan Xichen felt just the same.   
And it was JinLing who brought him here. He wondered what was the actual reason why he came.  
Maybe he had the right to have a family, to have friends. Someone who cared about him. Maybe he wasn’t that bad.  
Lan Xichen hugged back and allowed himself to cry, forgetting about embarrassment and anything else. He had a family, a great family.   
Maybe he, too, needed to be a child sometimes. He, too, needed attention. And JinLing brought him to someone who wanted to give him just that.

  
It is said that when three sect leaders are together, the world shall tremble, as they are supposed to rule the whole cultivation world.


	13. The Announcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin Ling breaks the news to his family. He also fulfills his promise towards his friend and manages to do the unthinkable!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Many! Kisses! Aaah, I’m sorry, but these Lans are really wild sometimes, aren’t they? They get tired from being so serious.   
> Note: 宝贝 is something like baby, darling :d (can be read as Bǎobèi)

Jiang Cheng accepted the invitation. Of course, it’s his nephew and he loves him a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that he hided it from him.

A sect leader. Lanling Jin’s sect leader. He will rule over all the other sects! Truly an astonishing fact to understand. Jiang Cheng’s happiness it beyond himself. His chest might burst with joy. But his outer expression gives nothing out. He looks outside the carriage, towards the bumpy road ahead. He’s even in a carriage. A huge carriage. But there are only him and Lan Xichen inside. JinLing is inside another carriage. Jiang Cheng doesn’t yet understand what that is supposed to mean. Couldn’t theh just share? It wasn’t like-  
Oh.  
Soon they arrived at Cloud Recesses.  
Jiang Cheng steps out of the carriage, a bit nauseous from all the movement. Wei Wuxian looks ahead and sees both Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng and immediately sprints towards them both. Huh. He didn’t change a bit.  
“Ayioh! Jiang Cheng! You made us all worried. I suppose you’re just fine now, right?” A dorky smile spreads across his loud brother’s face. Jiang Cheng says nothing and just hugs him tightly.  
Lan Xichen slips out of the carriage and goes past them, trying to be quiet and also looking for his brother.

“Brother.”   
“Wangji.” They both salute in a respectful manner. Ah, the Gusu Lan excellence at its best. Couldn’t that be a sight that overshadows stars’ beauty on a clear sky? Two handsome men, head over heels for two dumbasses. One of them knows, but the other...  
“Ah, Jiang Cheng! You once told me I’m too emotional, but now you’re just crying like a baby! Hahaha we talked about it, you can stop crying.”  
“Shut up! I’ll kill you! You are embarassing me.”  
Lan Wangji faintly smiles towards his husband. “Wei Ying. Don’t torment your brother. It’s not a proper behavior.”  
Lan Xichen smiled brightly and turns towards his brother.   
“Ah, Wangji. You didn’t change a bit. You’re still so serious! They haven’t seen each other for a while. I think it’s just fine they caught up with crying.”  
Jiang Cheng’s face turns red. “Who’s crying?! I’ll summon Zidian right now and-“  
Laughter surrounds this small group as they joke around. Quite an unusual sight, isn’t it? From having disastrous fates to just being a family, couldn’t that be like heavens just blessed them?

Jin Ling leaves his carriage, too. From behind the older cultivators, a pretty and smaller head emerges. Jin Ling smiles and bowes. Lan Sizhui approaches him, shyly, as if he was the younger one.   
“Master Jin Ling. You came...”  
Jin Ling doesn’t reply and continues smiling.  
“Is it that I’ve just been impolite? I should have called you sect leader, my apologies-“  
Before he manages to bow, Jin Ling catches the disciple’s shoulders, urging him to stop his action.  
“No need. Greetings, Lan Sizhui. We’re friends, isn’t it true?”  
“It’s an honor to be considered master’s friend.”  
“Ayioh! I am younger. What is this?! Call me Jin Ling.”  
“But master-“  
“Haven’t we talked about this?”  
Lan Sizhui slightly bows his head and smiles. His hair grew longer, Jin Ling notices. And he’s even more handsome if that was possible. The beautiful black hair of his was flowing on his back, nicely combed. Jin Ling felt the urge to touch it, but he is a sect leader. These things are meant to be kept in a cage locked. Until the time was right.  
Lan Sizhui started crying while Jin Ling was thinking. When the newly made sect leader slipped out of his daydream, he worried Lan Sizhui was hurt in some way.  
“Where does the pain come from? How can I help?” He also hurried to hold Lan Sizhui in some way so he wouldn’t exhaust himself.  
Instead, Lan Sizhui fell into his arms, hugging as tightly as he could.  
“Jin Ling! A-Yuan is very proud of you! You are a very good person! You did so well!”  
“...”  
“A-Yuan really thinks you’re the best Jin sect leader and he knows you can establish peace in the cultivation world!”  
Jin Ling’s tears started falling, too. Naturally.  
“A-Ling thanks this gege. A-Ling is... is...”  
“Ayioh!! Why do you cry?! It’s not like-“ None of them could speak anymore, choking with tears, sobbing constantly. The hug was warm and Jin Ling didn’t want to break from it. He has cried so much during these past days, even he didn’t know he had so many frustrations piled up. He could finally let it all out.

The adults were watching them, eyes a bit wet.   
Lan Jingyi also came to the scene. He wiped (no, he didn’t cry, he just had something stuck in his eyes) his tears and shouted as loud as he could:  
“You, dumb Jin sect leader! Kiss the bride!”  
Horrified, Lan Xichen widened his eyes. Lan Wangji was left speechless and Wei Wuxian was just standing there, spacing out. Jiang Cheng pretended he didn’t exist.   
Hastily, all the adults scattered around, hurrying to the main pavilion of Cloud Recesses. Lan Jingyi was also nowhere to be seen.  
Both Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling were horried to the point the had to cough awkwardly to break the silence.   
“Ah, A-Ling.. don’t mind... him.. he was just .. ahaha...”  
Jin Ling was red. He had stopped breathing for a while. Lan Sizhui noticed and was worried and urged him to breath, damn it, he might suffocate!  
“A-Ling! Are you okay now?!”  
“Ah yes, yes. I’m sorry... g... g-“  
“You don’t have to say it if it doesn’t sound right haha..”  
“-gege. Gege. Gege please do what I am supposed to do, I am too ashamed of myself.”  
“If it’s uncomfortable, forget it! We.. we have to get going anyways!”  
Lan Sizhui was trying his best to get Jin Ling back in his comfort zone, but to no avail. Jin Ling is angry with himself. How can he be such a coward? Does that Lan Jingyi have to tell him what must do? No way! He knows better! He musters all the courage in the world, puts his hand around Lan Sizhui’s waist and kisses him.  
Lan Sizhui closes his eyes and leans in the embrace which makes Jin Ling swoon. His heart feels like it’s about to burst through his chest. The ‘sect leader mask’ he tried to keep on falls on the ground and shatters, not to be repaired around this other boy again.  
Lan Sizhui has never felt such a thing before. He was tempted to misidentify it as friendly affection, but the way his heart beats can’t ever be associated with anything he knows. He puts his hands around Jin Ling’s neck and feels a pair of hands snake around his waist, pulling him closer, deepening the chest-tightening kiss.   
Jin Ling becomes a sect leader today and today he also had his first proper kiss. Today he learned family doesn’t end with blood and today he also found out what a heart-crushing love meant. He experienced so many feelings in the span of a few hours, truly worrying he’d might get a heart attack in the next few days! He has to bring THOSE adults with him. Ah, it’s so fun when you’re under 30!

Jiang Cheng paces around. Worried. Worried. Worried. What is the Lan disciple doing to his nephew? Why aren’t they coming back? Does he have to unsheathe Zidian? Does he have to yell? Who does he have to beat?  
“Jiang Wanyin.” Ah. That voice. He calms down significantly upon hearing the endearing calls of that man.  
“Yes, Lan-gege.”  
“It’s going to be okay. Your nephew is much more capable at handling situations than you would expect.”  
“Ah, is it so?”  
“Remember who convinced me come to Lotus Pier.”  
“Right.” Jiang Cheng didn’t realise his fists were clenched until he relaxed. Fuck, he shouldn’t react so anxiously to his Jin Ling being in love. With a man. After all... he was entangled with Lan Xichen just before that. He took a deep breath and sat down.   
“You should take the chance and dress up in your official clothes. We’re part of the procession.”  
“Fuck, yes, I forgot. Oh shit, no swearing in Cloud Re- AH NEVERMIND! I’m going.”  
“I’ll come to change as well. Let us go.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were busy with scolding Lan Jingyi for being so impolite with a sect leader. Lan Jingyi was rolling his eyes and totally not listening to their dumb words. Of cours he did the right thing! The two little shits wouldn’t have kissed if he didn’t urge them to.  
He stuck his tongue at them and announced proudly: “I’m going to chaaaange. See you in the carriage!”  
“Hey! If you think you can attend-“  
“Lalala, I can’t hear you!”  
“This brat! I am going to discipline him-“  
“Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian calmed down.  
Just how amazing was that the Lan sect had such an amazing power over their loved ones? They would just say a few words and the other party would just fall silent! Magnificent. That should be an example. You could use the technique in so many situations. Ah, so many.   
Coming back to the scene!  
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji went to the Jingshi to get changed into their special clothes.  
“Ah, Lan Zhan! What should I wear?”  
“Anything. Wei Ying looks great all the time.”  
“Haha, Lan-er gege you surely know how to flatter someone.” Just after they put the last layer on themselves, Wei Wuxian slowly approached his husband. “You look so handsome in those clothes.”  
“Wei Ying is beautiful. With the clothes or without.”  
“Are you suggesting something?” Wei Wuxian sits on the bed, opening his legs and pulling Lan Zhan between them. He hooked his legs around his waist, trying to get the stern faced man on the bed, too.  
“Not now, Wei Ying. Your nephew has an important event today. We can’t be late.”  
“You’re right. But just wait. I have something prepared for my favorite husband.”  
“You mean your only husband.”  
“Ah! That’s how the saying goes!!”

  
In the other part of Cloud Recesses, two bodies were rolling in the bed incessantly.  
“Lan Xichen... I had no idea you had it in you!”  
“Hmph. Being a sect leader teaches me a lot more than discipline.”  
“I don’t doubt that. Does it also teach you how to be so fucking beautiful? Because you’re so damn gorgeous. Fuck.”  
“....” Lan Xichen can’t reply to that. If anything, he was weak for compliments. And just Jiang Cheng’s hoarse voice full of praises was able to bring him to the edge.  
“Ah, you’re so rough, gege! Who would have known? Such a calm and collected man would be such a brat behind the closed doors!”  
Lan Xichen’s ears turned gradually red and his breathing was heavy with lust. Jiang Cheng finally landed on his back, his legs tightly embracing the Lan’s sect leader slender waist. The incense’s effect didn’t wear off. Or so he wanted to believe. He felt so hot and just wanted to take off all those fancy clothes he barely managed to get it and undress the man in front of him, too. Being ranked the most beautiful man of the cultivation world didn’t do him justice. Lan Xichen was surely surpassing many other records. Including this extremely good licking he gave Jiang Cheng’s neck. The younger couldn’t help it and just let a low moan, biting his lips ashamed.  
“Fuck. Fuck. Just f-“  
‘Zewu-Jun? Uncle Jiang? Is everyone ready? We have to leave.’  
Both of them froze in shock. Did the sounds they made go to the other side of the door?  
Shit. Jiang Cheng wants to die.  
“We’re just packing the gifts! We’re coming in a minute.”  
Lan Xichen, you vixen. His ability to lie was sometimes pretty useful.   
The gifts were already neatly packed and waited on the table.  
Lan Xichen gave Jiang Cheng a last kiss and they both got up. They straightened their clothes, put their hair pieces on and left the room in a hurry.

The carriages were almost full.  
Lan Sizhui was seated in the same carriage with Jin Ling and was still pleading to be left out since he didn’t deserve to sit in the same place with the sect leader. A short kiss seemed to shut him up.  
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were riding along with Lan Jingyi, which was a part of his punishment.  
Jiang Cheng was left alone with Lan Xichen. They carefully sat across from each other. The rest of the procession was riding behind.   
The ride was mostly quiet aside from the few disgusted noises coming from Lan Jingyi (probably another part of his punishment) and Lan Sizhui just admiring the view and reporting back to Jin Ling, excited and overjoyed.   
Lan Xichen stole a few kisses from Jiang Cheng before coaxing him to sit next to him. The Lan sect leader tormented Jiang sect leader by pinching his cheeks and kissing them. He was so infatuated with the grumpy man that he could not contain himself. If the appearance didn’t give out their secret, there was no way in the world someone would guess. Too bad that Jin Ling made sure the Lan younger brother and his other uncle both knew the ‘secret’.  
“Jiang Cheng...”  
“...”  
“Jiang Wanyin..”  
“...”  
“A-Cheng...”  
“...”  
“宝贝...”*  
Jiang Cheng whipped his head in the direction of Lan Xichen’s face and sneered.  
“You weren’t replying to me.”  
“And you chose to call me so shamelessly?!”  
“Don’t you like it? 宝贝...”  
“There are people around!!!!”  
“But you really are my 宝贝.. I like you, A-Cheng.”  
“I like you too, but keep it down.”  
A warm smile spread across Zewu-Jun’s face. He was stearing intently at the other man.  
“What?!” Jiang Cheng was pleased with the sect leader’s behavior.  
“A-Cheng... I’m sad.”  
“And what should I do about that?!”  
“Kiss me.”  
“You had enough.”  
“I want more.”  
“You’ll get more when we’ll settle in Lanling.”  
“Really? Anything I want?”  
“Yes. Anything”, Jiang Cheng answered through gritted teeth, hoping he could be left alone. He felt his chin being tilted upwards, looking directly into a pair of amber eyes.  
“Don’t you forget that, Sandu Shengshou.” Something in Lan Xichen’s deep voice made the younger cultivator shiver. He was probably keen on getting the promised rewards so Jiang Cheng was bracing himself. He knew he couldn’t get rid of the other’s bravery and lustful attitude. It was going to be a hell of a party.


	14. Long Live the Sect Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin Ling decides he wants to settle the score with a few official. He also tries to destroy a barrier that puts some people’s lives on the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Homophobia. So... I’m sorry about it, but I felt like it should be talked about. There probably were people who didn’t agree with such a concept and it’s time to crush them under the feet.  
> Also omg? JL and .. and... such a well-behaved student..

The procession arrived in Lanling. Jin Ling exited his carriage and sits on a horse. 

“Are you going to be okay, riding that much?”  
Jin Ling turned his head around, smiling at the sweet boy that talked to him. “Of course, master Lan Sizhui. It’s not for too long, anyways.”  
Lan Sizhui’s face reddened and with an awkward smile he let the veil of the carriage fall back.

Jin Ling’s back was straight. He was smiling at the crowd who gathered to see the new sect leader. Most of them were overjoyed to admire such a young and talented cultivator to become the head of the sect so soon.  
Lanling was dressed in gold and white, the colors of the sect with the same name. There were paper lanterns flying and a crowd of singers were leading the way. Playing a traditional, but rather uplifting song, they were accompanied by a few dancers hired, of course, by the other officials of the sect. Everyone was wishing the new sect leader a long life, without too many worries. Huh. Who knows how long he’d live considering he wanted to cultivate for the entirety of his lifetime? Curious to think about those people are cheering him up when sometimes they are just bashing cultivators for doing “a poor job protecting them”. But he knew those were the common folk. Nothing to dwell on.  
This young cultivator is dressed in the official clothes of the Lanling Jin sect. He wears the typical head piece the leaders have to put on. But he’s nothing like the previous one. He has a more youthful appearance. He has fierce eyes and a radiant smile. He sometimes look delicate in the powerful sun rays. His vermilion mark lays proudly like a remembrance of his status. The peony robes are fluttering behind with the wind. A faint sign proud could be read on his face. Only if you knew him personally. Otherwise he’s actually a kind and selfless person, especially with all the help he has provided Lanling these days. It was a part of the ritual, but he cherished those moments.  
His spiritual weapon lays on his back: a crossbow with golden arrows that would burn through trees if they were shoot with a killing intent. Suihua was at his waist, proudly shining along its master.  
Passing rows and rows of commoners, Jin Ling was overwhelmed with the amount of people who came to cheer, clap and yell for him. He wishes he can protect them all. He wants to be a good sect leader that won’t let anyone down. Sending a prayer, silently, he bows his head in respect for the will of the heavens that allowed him such an honor. After just a moment of piety, he comes back to the lively painting of the world.   
Jin Ling thinks of waving here and there, but wouldn’t that be too cliche? Huh. There are some girls approaching, wanting to get a better look of ‘Dianxia’. Aware of the attention, Jin Ling lowers his eyes to look at them and all the girls pretend to faint in order to send the sect leader the right message: he’s handsome.  
Underneath the long eyelashes were a pair or beautiful eyes and his whole face exuded high class.   
Just then, Lan Sizhui took a glance from behind the curtain at the cultivator. A faint trace of jealousy passed through his heart, but he quickly shook it off. Ah, impure thoughts, he has to pray for his poor soul and ask for forgiveness. He may need to strengthen his cultivation base.

Soon they arrived at the foot of Koi Tower. Jin Ling is the first one to dismount his horse and takes a deep breath. He’s mostly anxious for the next part. Quickly, a woman approaches and he is startles a bit. The ministers also trace behind her.   
“Oh, sect leader! Forgive this old lady for disturbing you. I am here for the blessings. I brought a Taoist brother with me.”  
And for sure, in the back of the crowd of officials there was man who was quiet and was looking at the ground.  
“Please, come forwards, master.” Jin Ling’s voice chirped.  
The man bowed his head in respect and came, listening to the young man. Only then, Jin Ling noticed he was blind. With regret, he angrily glares at all the officials.  
“Why didn’t anybody help him?!”  
Everyone shuffles in shame and confusion.  
“Ah, great sect leader.. we didn’t know-“  
“Oh. Right. If it’s not your well-being, it doesn’t really matter.”  
The officials were even more uncomfortable. The little man had a sharp and poisonous tongue. The wouldn’t dare to get on his nerves in the future again.  
“Please forgive us, sect leader Jin Rulan! We had no intention of offending your enlightened self!”  
Jin Ling saw right through them. It was all fake. He rolled his eyes and let it slide, waving them to leave him alone for the moment.   
The memory of his uncle and him making their way towards Koi Tower to ensure his position flashes through his mind. At that time, those officials weren’t so eager to be obedient. Maybe they had the idea they could kill him in a way or another.   
“I am sorry, lady. Master. I should have been more perceptive to your needs.”  
The blind master smiled and finally spoke:  
“This young master is truly impressive. It seems that my predictions were all true. You’re a kind and compassionate person. You will rule well over Lanling Jin sect. I wish you a long life. I have nothing very impressive to tell you. I know there is nothing I should add because your actions will speak on their own as for you will do many honorable things.”  
With everyone having left their carriages, they all pray in a single voice: “Long live Lanling Jin sect leader!”  
The woman makes steps towards Jin Ling. She eyes him and over analyzes him only to click her tongue discontented. He has a vague confusion scraping her old face, but she doesn’t budge. She keeps watching him, like hoping something would change. In the end she shakes her head and sighed. She has a conclusion.  
“Sect leader Jin Rulan. Around 20. Very sharp. Intelligent. Selfless and wants to help everyone. Doesn’t judge the looks of others or the riches they have. Long life indeed. I can’t even know how long it will be, very long. Healthy. Will die according to the decisions he makes, probably because of old age. Won’t ascend or reach immortality, but has a very strong core. A lot of spiritual power, will move mountains. Will have a spiritual partner which is also the person who will be at his side for the rest of his life. But there’s a problem.”  
She goes quiet for a few seconds, like deciding if she can talk.  
“The energy of the person by his side... it’s not only a life partner, it’s a deep connection between them, nothing can break them apart. There’s some jealousy, they will chase each other no matter what. But... it’s confusing. The energy of that person is the yang energy of a man!”  
Everything is still. Jin Ling’s thoughts revolve around the woman’s words: “energy of a man”.   
“The man... though... is a rather submissive and kind person with a very cute appearance and he’s caring as well. That’s what confuses me. It tends to sect leader just like he was a woman!”  
The monk’s face twists into a frown. His indignation can be sensed in the tone of his voice:  
“I have to add. This old monk might not be the brightest person, but there isn’t a certain energy that belongs to men or women. If it is a man, then so be it. If that man is a gentle person then even better for this great sect leader. He will live a nice life with that man.”  
“But that means he won’t have any heirs”, the old lady retorts.  
“They can adopt.”  
“So they have someone of different blood on the throne? What will the people say?”

All the cultivators are quiet. The watch their feet. The most nervous one is Lan Sizhui. He feels guilty. He just hopes the pediction isn’t about him, he doesn’t want to hurt Jin Ling. He wants him to be well and-  
A hand clutches his, tightly. His father, Wei Wuxian was holding it lovingly. He has a sad smile plastered on his face, but he tries to reassure the young man. He’d say ‘it’s not your fault’, but he has no idea if it’s a good thing to say. Lan Wangji watches them, a bit anxious. He wants to see nobody cry.  
Jiang Cheng’s mouth is dry. He feels guilty. Is he the one who influenced his nephew? Is it Wei Wuxian? Either way, he feels like he didn’t give a good example.   
Loving a man. It was so unlikely to just think about that some time ago, but since Lan Xichen entered his life, he didn’t see the things going any other way. Lan Xichen was the light on his path. He helped him so much and not giving him love back would be a blasphemy! He’d offend an angel. His heart thumps uncontrollably when Lan Xichen smiles fondly at him and he could drown in the hugs that come along.  
Why would it be bad to love someone who cares about you so much? Is it a shameless thing? His mood drops to the floor gradually.  
Lan Xichen is quick to sense the change in his spirits and goes to his side, holding his hand. Jiang Cheng looks at his face and a few tears slips his eyes.   
With a silent ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make him feel ashamed’, Jiang Cheng lets his head hang low. Lan Xichen urges him to look into his eyes, shakes his head and gives him that special smile. He seems to say ‘It’s alright, you did nothing wrong’. Words don’t have to be heard. The mutual understanding goes through. Jiang Cheng also forces a smile on his face.  
Jin Ling is fuming. How could a random woman tell him what is right and what is wrong? Does she know any better? Does anyone in the world have the right to judge his feelings??? Or anyone’s feelings at that. He’s entitled to what he feels. Whatever she says about this matter is of no importance to him! He turns his head and looks directly at Lan Sizhui who is startled. The older boy reddens and is left speechless. Jin Ling mouthes a ‘Don’t worry, nothing will change’ and the other one is surprised. He never imagined Jin Ling would be so bold in front of a group of older people.

The monk, though, continues.   
“You see.. he doesn’t need a woman to tell him what he has to do. Or even a man. They complete each other. Why is it shameful? Why is it a bad thing to profess your love? Why is it bad to have feelings? Man or woman, what’s the difference?”  
“A relationship between a man and a woman is just the normality!”  
“Why? Did you decide that?”  
The woman is left speechless. She bowes her head and gets behind the officials. They start to gossip.  
‘Who’s that man that catches Master Jin’s heart? Is it a joke? Does he really like a man? How can a sect leader not have children? What is wrong with this generation-‘  
But Jin Ling had enough. He shouldn’t rely on an old monk. He is old and probably tired of this back and forth exchange of judgmental words.  
“Thank you, master”, Jin Ling says. “You are very kind and I will repay you ten thousand times the amount of help you offered me. I promise. You’re a good person.”  
The color on the monk’s face drains.  
“Master Jin! That’s too much! What would I do with your gifts? Please, I do not deserve them, sect leader!”  
Jin Ling puts a hand on the monk’s shoulder ans squizes only lightly and gives him a light pat. “Then... would you like to stay at Koi Tower? You are wise. We would need your advice here.”  
“Too much kindness! This humble Taoist brother thinks he could just stay at the temple he comes from and he would do good things there. But... master wants to help... please help with my temple. It is old and barely holds on. Thugs came and destroyed it.... I am ashamed to ask for this, but I would be grateful if young master helped.”  
Jin Ling smiled and asked for a few guards.  
“Take the man to his temple and fulfill his wishes. Do anything he asks you to do. And one of you shall stay with him. Lang Yi. Be his guard. Do not let him get harmed.”  
“Understood!”  
“MANY THANKS! Dianxia is very kind, this humble man doesn’t deserve it! I will continue praying for your well-being and I wish you a good life with your man.” Before he left, he whispered towards the sect leader: “Take care of master Lan. He cares about you a lot.”  
Jin Ling stays frozen. This monk... he truly is gifted with lots of knowledge.  
Hastily, he turns to look at the officials, two fires dancing wildly into his eyes.  
They all fall to the ground, kowtowing.   
“MASTER SECT LEADER JIN! FORGIVE THESE LOWLY PERSONS FOR BEING SO DISRESPECTFUL! PUNISH US ACCORDINGLY.”  
Jin Ling smirks. In fact he has an idea about their punishment.   
“Since you know you did wrong... I won’t be so harsh. But since when is the person I keep by my side your problem? Since when is the person I kiss and caress your problem? Since when is the person I go to my room with your problem? Since when is the person I make my partner your problem?! ANSWER ME!”  
All the men on the ground cower in fear. As expected from the idiots who wanted to snatch the throne just after the death of Jin Guangyao.   
“IT WAS NEVER OUR PROBLEM, SECT LEADER!”  
“Good.”  
Lan Sizhui’s mouth is open, his eyes round with astonishment. He looks at his parents, asking for an explanation. They are just as shocked as him. Lan Jingyi is in awe, as well. What a cool guy, he thinks. Jiang Cheng is proud, but he keeps a stern face the whole time. Lan Xichen holds Jiang Cheng’s hand tighter. And unlike the others, he smiles.  
In this moment he looks like Jiang Cheng even more than you’d imagine. The beauty and the mannerism, it’s all thanks to his uncle, to the one he’s holding right now. Such a striking resemblance, you’d think they are brothers. The only difference is that Jin Ling has a little more elegance in executing his moves. He only needs a whip.  
“Very good. Now. I’ll decide who stays and who doesn’t not some other day. Huh? What are you waiting for? Scram!”  
The men who were kneeling left immediately and apologized profusely. Jin Ling couldn’t be bothered by those.   
Only his family was left. He turned to look at Lan Sizhui. He smiled and extended his hand.  
“Uh, A-Yuan.”  
“Yes... father.”  
“I think... I think he wants you to take his hand.”  
“A-are you sure about that? Maybe he just wants to stretch.”  
“Master Lan Sizhui.” Jin Ling’s voice covered all the whispers.  
“Y-yes! Dianxia, I’m here.” At the sound of the horrendous politeness, the sect leader scrunched his nose, looking a small child, for the first time in a while.  
“Don’t call me Dianxia.” A few drops of bitterness seeped into his soul. “I’m Jin Ling. Or A-Ling. Dianxia... doesn’t really fit me. At least when I’m around the members of my family.”  
A terribly funny gasp came from the crowd of cultivators.  
“He called me family!!!” Lan Jingyi seems to live the happiest moment of his life. “Family!!! With another sect leaded!!! Hahaha!!! Who would’ve thought!!! I’m so cool!!!”  
The rest ignored his existential crisis.  
Lan Sizhui makes small steps towards the Lanling Jin sect leader. He also extends his hand and puts it in the hand of the younger cultivator. Jin Ling holds it tightly and a tear falls on his cheek. He has been holding it in for too much time. They stare into each other’s eyes for a while.

  
“... psst.”  
“What?! Stop talking it’s disrespectful.”   
... the common folk ... wasn’t so successful in dissipating. In a second they were gone only to be replaced by a larger and quiet crowd.  
“... pssst.”  
Jin Ling is now holding both Lan Sizhui’s hands dearly. He is so precious to him, he thinks. He has no intention to let go.  
“What?! Talk, you’re annoying, but don’t make a fuss.”  
Even though the commoners were whispering then, everyone was silenced and only the birds flying around could be heard. That and his thumping heart. Jin Ling wasn’t ashamed of the people watching him. Not anymore. But he didn’t want to believe Lan Sizhui would refuse him. He believed there was a chance he wouldn’t be slapped across the face with a fearsome no.  
“... dad... are they together?”  
Kids can’t be that quiet, can they? The kid could be heard by everyone. The dad didn’t reply and anxiously looked at the new sect leader. His hands were shaking and he was scared his child would be imprisoned. He knelt on the ground, clutching his son at his chest, begging for mercy. Jin Ling let Lan Sizhui’s hands fall and walked towards the poor little family. Kneeling to be at their level.  
“!!!! Dianxia!!!! Please!!!! I am just a simple man, how can you do this??? Please, get up.”  
“You get up, too.”  
“I-my son made a mistake.”  
“Which would that be?”  
“Well, he asked that question. And he shouldn’t have.”  
“Why?”  
“It’s disrespectful. He can’t assume a relationship based on what he noticed. There is much more than some hand holding to a relationship. He was ignorant and I’m sorry.”  
“And here I thought you’d scold him for thinking I’d be with a man. Pfft.” Jin Ling laughed dryly, making the other party to shake in fear. “Then if I say it’s fine... what don’t you answer his question?”  
“Dianxia should enlighten us with the matter.”  
Huh. This man isn’t dumb at all! He actually needed a commoner as an official, to properly voice out the rest’s needs.   
“Very well. If I do this..” he walk up to Lan Sizhui and kisses his hands, “.. what would you say?”  
“I’d say you’re being respectful with master.”  
“And this...”  
Jin Ling kisses Lan Sizhui forehead.   
“...”  
“Alright then. I’ll say it for you. I like men. Alright? Your sect leader likes men. Now you have something to gossip about. Now quickly leave! I’m busy.” Once again, he took Lan Sizhui’s hand and asked the question he was nervous about:  
“Lan Sizhui. Will you walk the path to the Fragrant Palace with me?”

Aaaand  
Stop.   
Would a younger Jin Ling say this? Probably not.  
Would a 17 years old Jin Ling say that? Maybe..  
What about the current Jin Ling? The surge of courage that coursed through his veins was something really special. Infused with the aura of a sect leader, Jin Ling was convinced he could do anything he wanted as long as it wasn’t immoral. And loving someone clearly wasn’t bad.  
Asking Lan Sizhui to walk towards the Fragrant Palace with him was a very intimate thing, without feeling too much when said around others. Of course, for those who didn’t know what the Fragrant Palace was.   
Lan Sizhui pondered over his options.   
Yeah so much with that. He either rode in a carriage with the others and rejected Jin Ling’s love or walked with Jin Ling, but not being worth of such an honor.  
...Ah who cares what his worth is?!  
“Yes. Please lead the way.”  
Lan Sizhui was dressed in the beautiful pure white attire with a outer cloth stiched with incantations for protection. His forehead ribbon stood proudly, sewn with the clouds motif. The robes were fluttering with the fleeting wind, making one look like a real prince. And for sure.  
Lan Sizhui had the appearance of a prince. With his fair appearance and dignity, he was just a perfect match for the handsome Jin Ling.   
They held hands and advanced on the long path. Jin Ling’s steps came to a halt. He turned around and commanded in a kind voice:   
“Send everyone to the Fragrant Palace. We’ll go to the Glamour Hall as soon as possible. Just have everything ready before I get there. I’ll be as slow as I can.”  
“Yes, master!” The servants around swarmed towards the palace in a carriage and drove everyone, too.   
With a final glance at the disappearing commotion, Jin Ling breathed deeply and sighed.  
“I have to trouble A-Yuan.”  
“Please, say without any restraint! I am here to help.”  
“Is it okay if we go on foot?”  
“I won’t be tired.”  
“Me neither. Then it’s settled. Ah, by the way. Maybe you will tell me about your favorite flowers. I shall have some ready for you in no time.”  
“No need to bother!! Haha young mastee is really eager to help.”  
“A-Yuan.”  
“A-Ling.”  
“Am I... too much? Do you... do you feel annoyed? Tell me if anything is uncomfortable.”  
“No. I am just frustrated that master trusts me so much and that he is so nice to me, but I have done nothing to deserve it.”  
“You exist. That’s what you did.”  
The smile at each and hand in hand they walk the long path towards the place of the coronation.


	15. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng are confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Trigger warning! Heavy drinking! Please do not drink and drive and limit the consumption of alcohol and other harmful substances. Thank you!

Jiang Cheng was impatient. And confused. And anxious. And angry. And-

“A-Cheng...”  
Lan Xichen’s voice interrupted his thoughts.  
“A-Cheng. Calm down. I think A-Ling has done a great job at dealing with those people. Do not worry. I have the idea that they won’t bother him in the future again.”  
“But still! It’s what the commoners and those filthy officials think about him. I wanna bind them with Zidian and make them regret they ever spoke ill against my nephew. I wanna-“  
“A-Cheng.” The serene tone of Lan Xichen’s voice made him stop thinking again.  
“I hope you’re not using a spell on me.”  
Lan Xichen laughs wholeheartedly.  
“That’s what.. ahahah.. you think I have... hahaha been using on you? Jiang Cheng, you’re really something else!”  
With the realisation, Jiang Cheng’s face reddens.  
“I don’t have to use anything. I only must know how to talk to you. And me being gentle..”  
Lan Xichen gets up from his seat in the carriage.  
“... is what you like the most.”   
-and sits next to Jiang Cheng. He smiles warmly and kisses his cheeks. Jiang Cheng averts his eyes from Lan Xichen’s beautiful face.   
‘Not now. Not now. Not now. Not-‘  
Lan Xichen places a hand on his thigh, caressing lovingly. The Jiang sect leader sighs and inhales deeply. He exhales after he feels like he cannot hold his breath anymore and tries to stay put. But the Lan cultivator extends his hand and makes Jiang Cheng look at him. A malicious intent could be read in Lan Xichen’s eyes.  
They whisper in a single voice “Later” and let the imagination do it for them. For the moment.

“AAAA!”  
Wei Wuxian hasn’t stopped panicking for some time. He was worried for both of them. What if the officials came back and tormented them? What if Jin Ling wouldn’t want Lan Sizhui, just like that?! He has a temper, like his uncle, so it would he understandable. What if-  
“What if you just stop worrying?” Lan Wangji had enough of it.  
“But, but... they’re all alone and-“  
“And what? If you were there would you protect them? With your flute songs? So people would get mad with you? Again?”  
Lan Wangji was still haunted by the past. He wouldn’t let his husband get hurt.   
“I.. you’re right. They’re both old enough to face a few puny humans. Eh, Lan Zhan?But what do you think about Jin Ling’s courage just then? Wasn’t he cool? And the way he basically confessed to A-Yuan!”  
“Mn.”  
“Sometimes you are so boring!”  
Lan Jingyi was just listening to their talk. He suddenly started feeling uncomfortable so he set up a deafening spell on himself.  
And just on time...  
“You didn’t say that last night.”  
“LAN WANGJI! There are kids... oh... he can’t hear us. But that’s still shameless!”  
“I want to hear you scream ‘shameless’ tonight then.”  
“HANGUANG-JUN!!!!”

  
Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui arrived the last at the Fragrance Hall. They both seemed a bit tired so they walked slowly towards the others. Everyone bowed to the new sect leader and greeted him respectfully. Jin Ling bowed as well and walked to the throne. The hall was already full.  
The ceremony takes place and Jin Ling is crowned as the official sect leader, as a result of him becoming an adult. The atmosphere is sober and Jin Ling stands up, ovations coming from the crowd of cultivators gathered around. People from various sects came to congratulate him personally. They offered the gifts one by one and went towards Glamour Hall, where the party would happen.  
Most of them didn’t stay.  
Nie Huaisang was one of those. He claimed that there were some things he had to take care of immediately and left. What a pity, Jin Ling thought, his hand supporting his cheek, trying not to fall asleep after receiving the 105th gift. When the last present was delivered, he was already dozing off. Lan Sizhui sent him a flying paper man and made it nudge the younger man in order to wake up.  
Jin Ling noticed the little thing and smiled, winking towards it. Lan Sizhui was embarassed to death.  
His uncle was the first relative of his to get up.  
“Dianxia, Yunmeng Jiang sect leader Jiang Wayin greets you and offers his gift.”  
Jin Ling descended from his throne and unwrapped the gift. It was a small box. Jin Ling gingerly opened it and noticed a golden ring inside.  
“It’s made of gold. It’s a spiritual weapon and I hope you will receive it well.”

Jiang Cheng was almost shaking from the emotions. He wanted the ceremony to go well and he was also anxious to see if the weapon accepted the new master.  
Jin Ling seemed to be excited so Jiang Cheng observed it all. He put the ring on his finger and it started sparkling with golden specks.  
The weapon has accepted the master. Jiang Cheng let out a breath of relief.  
Jin Ling snapped his hand and a long and elegant whip emerged.  
“It’s like your Zidian, uncle..” For a second, the young man forgot about honorifics. He was too impressed by the present he received. A few tears even fell down his cheeks.  
“Go on, give it a name, sect leader.”  
Jin Ling didn’t know how he should call it. A name suddenly emerged from the depths of his mind.  
“Tianwen. Its name will be Tianwen.”  
On the hilt of the whip, a name written in black burned. ‘Tianwen’ was written cursively, proudly.  
“It can also interogate people. They can’t lie when you bind them with it. The pain inflicted when sensing the false statement would be too great for others to withstand it.”  
Jin Ling was even more astonished. Such a great weapon, his uncle really is crafty. They hugged for a long time and then parted, respectfully saluting each other. Jiang Cheng retreated outside.  
It was Lan Xichen’s turn.   
Another small box. What could it be?  
Jin Ling opened it and found a sapphire pendant inside.  
“Apologies, sect leader. This isn’t much and I even asked master Jiang Wanyin for help. It’s a protection pendant. It is indeed made of sapphire and white gold. When you’d wear it, nothing would be able to hurt you. When the blow you get is too strong, the pendant sends spiritual energy towards the threat and turns it into ashes.”  
Jin Ling was left with his mouth hanging open. What kind of gift was that?? Has he been given two spiritual objects that were so powerful. Just how much energy did those two put into finding them?

Except that... none of them found them. They created them.  
Sounds like a fantasy in some people’s minds. It’s not a flute you can carve from a tree branch and not a guqin you can exert power upon. Spiritual power is what they are, like two living things.  
Both of them spent nights putting a lot of effort into creating them. And the gifts were long prepared before they got the invitation. Just in case. Over-exhausted and irritated, they fell into deep slumbers after working on their projects. They lost a great amount of spiritual power that they expected to get back after dual cultivating.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji both stood up simultaneously as the Gusu Lan younger brother carried a big box to the feet of the sect leader.  
“Greetings, sect leader! My husband here Hanguang-Jun and me brought you something really important. Haha, but if you excuse me...”  
“Wei Ying... we talked about it.”  
“You! You hold me then if it attacks.”  
“?”  
“Haha just open the box, please.”  
Wei Wuxian didn’t waste a moment and went behind his precious Lan Wangji, fearful.  
Jin Ling slowly approached the gift, a bit scared to say the least. If the Yiling Laozu was terrified of the content, then he should be careful.   
But after opening the lid, the young cultivator was suprised and overjoyed.  
“A DOG! IT’S A DOG! I LOVE IT!”  
The small creature emerged from inside and peeked the little head so Jin Ling could notice it. The cultivator couldn’t help, but smile and jump around with happiness. Only those four souls were inside the hall at that moment so Jin Ling could just enjoy the moment as much as he wanted. He picked up the Shiba Inu pup and hugged him, kissed him.   
“THANK YOU! THANK YOU SO MUCH! IT’S SO CUTE!”   
It let out a little bark and Wei Wuxian cowered in fear. Jin Ling thought his uncle was so considerate and nice especially because he was afraid of dogs, but picked up a gift like that for him. And Hanguang-Jun... a faint smile danced in the corner of his mouth.   
Jin Ling grinned and thanked them wholeheartedly. He was grateful for the little thing. Yet Lan Wangji stopped him and gave him one more small box. Jin Ling didn’t question it and unwrapped this one as well. Inside there was a simple small silver pendant with what seemed to be a picture in a locket. He opened it and he found the picture of his parents, drawn by hand, in miniature.  
“Wei Ying drew that. I chose the pendant. Excuse us for the lack of creativity.”  
Tears welled up in Jin Ling’s eyes. “N-no... it’s fine... I... this is great. I like it.”  
It was high time Wei Wuxian spoke.  
“Really? I thought you’d take offense. But Lan Zhan persuaded me to do it and I hoped you’d like it.”  
“I do like it a lot. Thank you so much.”  
“It’s not practical to wear, but you can keep it uh... somewhere close to you, maybe on the hilt of the sword or something. Ignore me if you don’t like the idea hahaa..”  
“That’s a good idea. Thank you, uncle Wei. Uncle Hanguang-Jun. “  
“How will you name the dog?”  
“Well-“  
“Not something related to fairies or any magical creatures. Please.”  
“! But Fairy was a nice name!!!”  
“...”  
“Hmm fine! What about... 小兔子(Little Bunny)?  
“You like a 小兔子? Hahaha”  
“... Well Sizhui has a lot of bunnies in Cloud Recesses and if he agrees to stay with me in Lanling I’m afraid he’d miss them... and maybe if he calls Little Bunny... I know he likes the bunnies a lot..”  
“It’s a good name. We like it. Isn’t it, Lan Zhan?”  
“Mn.”  
“Well then I should get going. Not letting the party start without me! Come on, Little Bunny, let’s show them how cool you are!”  
The pair watched the new sect leader stroll towards the Glamour Hall.   
“Lan Zhan..”  
“Mn.”  
“Do you think he really likes A-Yuan?”  
“It seems like it.”  
“But he talks about bringing him to Lanling as if it was an object.”  
“I think it’s just him. He intends no harm.”  
“Yeah. Maybe you’re right. I think too much. But the fact that he named his dog like that.. hah, really complicated to understand a heart like his.”  
“He went through a lot. He still has to learn.”  
“But what he accomplished is getting over that.”  
“He did it well.”

The hall gradually emptied as guests only passed by for the official meal and then left to complete some tasks for their sects. When only the close relatives were left in the hall with Jin Ling and Little Bunny, he left his seat and sat next to Lan Sizhui. He commanded the dog to stay put.  
He was a bit tipsy, cheeks rosy and eyes a little unfocused, but the fire that was ignited in his heart was only fueled by the rush of alcohol. The elders did not dare question it. Jiang Cheng no longer was able to teach him lessons and he had the idea that Jin Ling knew very well what he was doing.  
He turned his head while Lan Sizhui, who did not dare to drink at all, supported Jin Ling and took him to his chambers. The younger one was mumbling something about seeing his parents who congratulated him and expressed their happiness and gratitude. He also mentioned that he got drunk because he was too happy: too see his whole family together for the first time only made him emotional, yet he couldn’t cry because of his status. He was already sobbing while he begged Lan Sizhui to never leave him alone. “LITTLE BUNNY!!! COME ON, LET’S GO!!” The small puppy followed them obediently.  
In the other side of the room, Lan Jingyi was sulking. He was a bit jealous on their relationship and tried his best to ignore their sweet moments, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up hastily, excused himself and asked a servant to bring him to his room. Lan Wangji would lie if he said he didn’t know what that meant, but he kept quiet. Their feelings were never his problems, nor he can help them in any way. He sometimes worries he’s not doing a good job as a father, but at the end of the day there’s always Wei Wuxian to look at him in his eyes and tell him how great of a father and husband he is. A few heated kisses and Lan Wangji would entirely submit to the other’s requests and would please him until he was stopped. To think that the Yiling Laozu was so soft for him and had so much love and adoration for a single useless man. Wei Wuxian only claimed to be speaking the truth, always mentioning the good deeds the Gusu Lan cultivator did for him.  
An overwhelming love burned in Lan Wangji’s chest. Or was it the liquor he just drank? Oh no, sh-  
Boom. Lan Wangji’s head hit the table in front of him before Wei Wuxian could even react. The tolerance of this man is incredibly small. There was no reason to create a show so he picked up the man and they both went to their own room.  
The hall was almost empty. Only two lonesome cultivators who refused to express their undying love and respect for each other didn’t leave.   
One of them had a strong alcohol tolerance and was downing the fifth glass while, the other..  
Lan Xichen’s head hit the table as well with a loud bang. Unfortunately, it seemed like the hit was much more powerful as the man had a red forehead. Worried about him, Jiang Cheng approached slowly, not daring to make a sound and scare the man out of his slumber. But Lan Xichen abruptly raised his head and stared at Jiang Cheng.  
“I like you.”  
“Oh... are you drunk?”  
A confused expression could be reas on the older male’s face.  
“No? I don’t know. Where are we?”  
“The Koi Tower. Lanling.”  
“Ooh. Did I give a gift to Jin Ling?”  
“Yes, you did.”  
“Good! Did I give you the gift?”  
“Me..?”  
“Yes I made matching bracelets for us! They are enhanced with spiritual power! Mine is blue, yours is purple. Haha, I forgot where I put them. I was planning to tell you I like you.”  
“...”  
“Do you know? I really want to kiss you.”  
“You’re drunk, we should go our rooms.”  
“Rooms? No. Xichen-gege is sleeping with you.”  
“Xichen-ge has to get some sleep.”  
“No, I want to kiss.”  
“You listen to me!”  
“No! You are not my dad! My dad is-“ oh. And he started fucking crying! Jiang Cheng would start crying as well if this wasn’t so annoying as it is.  
“My dad is dead. He left me. Please don’t leave, A-Cheng!!! A-Cheng don’t leave me alone!!!! A-Cheng!!!”  
The grown ass man started crying like a small baby, wailing and hiccuping furiously. Jiang Cheng was lost, he barely knew how to raise a child, but he definitely didn’t know how to calm down a drunk adult.  
So he just extended his hand and had put it over Lan Xichen’s.  
The crying obviously stopped and Lan Xichen was watching his younger friend with big eyes. Sandu Shengshou was embarassed, but he also had a warm feeling in his chest.  
“Stop staring. I didn’t do anything special.”  
A trace of mischief glinted in Lan Xichen’s eyes. He intertwined his fingers with the other five and pulled Jiang Cheng in a sloppy kiss.  
The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader found it impossible to break from the intoxicating embrace and he just lost himself in the feeling of the wet lips grazing over his. He even moaned, surprising both parties. Lan Xichen kissed even more fervently and opened the other’s lips, caressing his tongue with long and endearing movements. Jiang Cheng’s knees were weak and he felt extremely aroused. But the other cultivator was drunk. He doesn’t take advantage of anyone. It had to stop. He pulled away and panted heavily. He dodged the next kiss attack and bit his lips with restraint.  
“Come on. We’re going to our rooms. we have to sleep.”  
“Only if you catch me.”  
Lan Xichen staggered on his feet and rushed towards the maze of corridors of the Koi Tower.

On his way, Lan Xichen sobbered only by a small amount and bumped into an extremely cold person. He apologized profusely, thinking that his behavior early was a bit too childish. When he raised his eyes, he turned into an ice block and started shaking. He couldn’t-  
No. It must be a dream. But at least he gets the chance to see someone he cared about the most. One more time.

Jiang Cheng lost his way instantaneously and looked around the corridors for a drunk man dressed in white. No chance though. A silhouette in a purple attire glared at him from afar, making small steps in his direction. He rubbed his eyes and watched the scene incredulously. Maybe the alcohol affected his senses and brain? Such a thing is definitely impossible unless one manipulates evil things. But at least he gets the chance to see someone he cared about the most. One more time.


	16. The Fire Has Been Ignited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen settle the score.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Self hate and a lot of swearing!  
> Sorry for posting late. Meanwhile.. looks like someone is about to confess?  
> Could it be that certain someone is gone forever? :o

Jiang Cheng’s eyes must have betrayed him for the first time. Unlike Wei Wuxian, he has a wonderful eyesight, thanks to the genes of his mother. His mother... 

No. He should focus on the... on the silhouette in front of him. He takes a fighting stance and draws his sword. Zidian sparks on his finger.  
“Who are you?! Why are you impersonating my sister? And in the sect clothes? Reveal your identity.”  
At her side, a person dressed in Lanling Jin sect attire appears, rolling his eyes.  
“Heavens, you’re always an annoying man, Jiang Wanyin.”  
Jin... Jin Zixuan?!  
“No. What is going on? Am I going crazy? No. It can’t be. Xichen-ge. Gege. GEGE! Gege, where are you?! Wei Wuxian!!! Stop playing games!! Everyone!!!”  
The ‘Jin Zixuan’ rolls his eyes again and slaps his forehead.   
“You’re so dense. Such a big idiot.”  
Jiang Cheng snaps his head towards the illusion.   
“You can’t be real.”  
“Alright, dear, please... explain it all to him. I’m tired.” The shorter silhouette sighs and smiles reassuringly.  
“A-Cheng.. come closer.” Instead, he takes a few steps back. “A-Cheng, I promise not to hurt you. Does it look like anything is amiss? Does it look threatening? It’s not a dream, nor an illusion. You have to believe your shijie.”  
Jiang Cheng learned not to trust his mind so he takes a look around. Everything is in place. The long golden hallway is illuminated by thousands of spirit lights. He approaches his sister, hesistantly, stopping at an arm’s reach.  
Jiang Yanli smiles bitterly and tries to touch him. Jiang Cheng is nervous, but her hand goes through his and he feels absolutely nothing.  
“I know father taught us there are no ghosts. That’s why he avoided coming today. He’s a bit ashamed of his misunderstanding. I have already talked to A-Xian. His husband was there, too. They have a nice relationship, you know? But Lan Wangji was a bit drunk.” She chuckles so prettily that Jiang Cheng thinks not even death can change her. “He didn’t want to see them, he thinks they’re gross. Silly boy, A-Xuan”, she says while glaring at him.  
Jin Zixuan‘s ghost white skin is painted a deep red and he looks the other way.

“Shijie...” Jiang Cheng breaks down and wails as hard as he can. He tried to hold it inside those past days for Lan Xichen, but since he isn’t here, he can act like a small child once again.  
He feels like he lost a part of him when he lost his family and it always hurts so badly and he wants to let it out. In the same time.... he doesn’t want to be a burden for Lan Xichen. He has his own problems and has the scars of his own and Jiang Cheng feels like he’d just inconvenience the other party. But shijie knows what’s best for him and he missed her a lot so he can cry. She came to see him so it’s fine to weep. She can’t hold him, but she can sit right next to him. Without noticing, Jiang Cheng fell to his knees. Damn that fucking peacock, he could laugh all he wants to, he-  
“Jiang Cheng... I... Did you take care of Jin Ling? I see he’s a good sect leader, but that dumbass got drunk today. He deserves a good punishment! But... you raised him well... thank you.”  
“You-“  
“Spare me. I know you think I wouldn’t have said it when alive, but you’re wrong. I’ll give you an example. When everyone thought Wei Wuxian was responsible for my death, I wanted to tell you that he was not and even if he was... I would forgive him. But I valued the impact he had in my wife’s life. The same goes for you. That day I went to talk to him and a tragedy happened. It was unpredictable. Please... don’t... don’t think I’m a complete asshole... I... I love my child and my wife and I trust you two with my life.”  
Jin Zixuan’s speech impressed Jiang Cheng. He might have to change his attitude because a peacock acting that humble is rare.  
“Jin Zixuan... thank you... I tried my best with A-Ling. I hope you are proud of him. He did his best to ascend to that place. He’s honest and hardworking and very selfless. He’s kind and very passionate about what he does. He’s a wonderful person.”  
Only if Jin Ling heard it one more time...  
“A-Cheng”... his sister’s eyes were teary and she was smiling brightly at her little brother. “Thank you, A-Cheng. You did a great job. You are an amazing sect leader and an even better uncle and... and father. You were like a father for him. Thank you. Your sister misses you a lot.”  
“And I miss shijie, too..”  
The three sat in silence for a while.  
“Zewu-Jun... is he good to you?” Jiang Yanli always knows what’s going on. Jiang Cheng raises his eyes, unsure of what to say.  
“He is... more than I could have ever expected.”  
“What do you feel, A-Cheng? Do you love him?”  
“I don’t know...”  
“A-Cheng. You don’t have to rush. Be considerate of him, too. Mind his feelings and don’t try to push anything. After all, their cultivation method is different than ours. He-“  
“We kissed. And did.. some stuff..”  
“I hope you didn’t inconvenience him..?”  
“Well-“  
The incense moment. Shit, he is still stressed about it.  
“A-Cheng!”  
“He... he didn’t say.. he... shijie... I didn’t offend him, did I?”  
“You should talk about it with the sect leader. We should go. It seems like you have some problems to solve.”  
“Shijie!”  
“You are going to be okay, little brother. Remember, there is nothing a disciple from Yunmeng Jiang can’t do. We’ll meet again.”  
“Good luck, Jiang Wanyin.”  
“SHIJIE! DON’T GO DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN!!! SHIJIE!!!! JIN ZIXUAN! YOU TWO COME BACK, DO NOT LEAVE ME ALONE! HEY!”  
“You’re not alone, A-Cheng. You have A-Xian, A-Ling, Hanguang-Jun and Zewu-Jun. I’m sure they are the best company you can get. Take care of yourself.”  
“SHIJIE...”  
Jiang Cheng kowtowed and watched them leave, thinking he could have said so much more. But Jiang Yanli promised to come again. He trusts his sister, so his heart is at ease, at least by a quarter.

  
Lan Xichen ran in circles a hundred times before he was tired of it. He looked back and forth, anxious, worried that the younger one didn’t find him yet. The alcohol was still rooted in his system so it should take another hundred laps before his head clears. But his breath was erratic, a small sob bubbling in his throat.  
“Younger brother... please... come to me... younger brother! You didn’t leave me, right? I’m sorry for teasing you. I won’t be annoying again. I won’t be so weird with the Gusu Lan discipline! Please!!! Come back to me!!!! Lan Xichen! Come back to Gusu with me...”  
Small footsteps could be heard coning from far away. Lan Xichen’s pupils contracted and excitement ran through his veins. Instead, a shorter person than he expected was approaching him. Confusion washed his face and he bobbed his head to the side, watching with curiosity.  
A person dressed in humble clothing, resembling the attire of the servants came into his view, a cloud of smoke surrouding what looked like a “him”. There was a simple hair pin attached to his ponytail. What would a servant want from him? And what was the demonic energy around him? Was he there to kill him? Lan Xichen took a fighting stance and summoned Liebing.   
“We can talk about this! I’ll play a song for you and you will float away happily! We can solve this the easier way! J-just don’t hurt me or my brother. And don’t touch Jiang Wanyin! Please..”  
The silhouette smiled.  
“There’s no such thing, Zewu-Jun. I came here with friendly intentions. Don’t you remember me, gege?”  
Liebing almost fell to the floor. It disappeared in the last moment and Meng Yao sighed in relief.  
“You should be more careful with your items. You’re so clumsy when you’re drunk. Here, let’s sit down.”  
An interior garden appeared right in front of them and they sat on a bench.  
“A-Yao? A-Yao?? Is that you? How can it be you?”  
“I... am a ghost. Like many others.”  
“But ghosts do not exist.”  
“So I thought. Until I met other ghosts.”  
“???”  
“Do not worry. None of them are bad ghosts. They all came to help everyone here.”  
“Everyone?? Does that mean A-Cheng met a ghost?”  
“Maybe. I can’t tell you. You should ask him directly.”  
“...”  
“I came here to apologize, though.”  
Jin Guangyao fell to his knees, kowtowing before Lan Xichen. After the third bow, he raised his head and looked at Lan Xichen, with big bright eyes. Of course, the sect leader was totally immersed in the stare of that fox. But Jin Guangyao didn’t come to trick Lan Xichen or to seduce him. He knew that well and quickly regained his composure. Lan Xichen was still staring, the beautiful face of the former Lanling Jin sect leader reigniting a fire in his heart. He reached his face and tried to touch his younger brother, but it went right through. Lan Xichen was horrified. Was he dreaming?? Why can’t he touch him? What’s wrong??? Is he going away? No...  
“Xichen-gege... do not worry, I am here. You can calm down, I am here.”  
Without realising it, Lan Xichen started shaking. Jin Guangyao used some energy and took his younger brother’s hands in his, caressing them lovingly.  
“I am here. Gege, you can calm down.”  
The shaking stopped, but the tears couldn’t be taken back. Lan Xichen brought Jin Guangyao’s hands to his lips and kissed them, clumsily.  
The younger man’s heart or what was left of it softened and tried to withhold the sobbing.   
“I can’t send energy to my whole body, I can’t hug you. I’m sorry, Zewu-Jun. I have disappointed you again.”  
“No! It’s good! I... I missed you.”  
“I missed you, too.” Jin Guangyao extended his hands and caressed Lan Xichen’s face. Soft, as ever. The most handsome man of the cultivating world kept his title even to this day.  
“We have to talk.” The former sect leader suddenly became serious.  
“Let’s just hold hands.”  
“Gege. Listen to me. This is not something that can be brushed off. You have to cooperate.”  
“A-Yao.. I missed you so much.”  
“You’re so clingy when you’re drunk, gege. But listen to me. I don’t have much time.” The younger tilted the other’s chin so they would look into each other’s eyes. “First things first. You have to forget about me.”  
“!! No way!”  
“Yes, you do. Listen carefully, Lan Xichen. Do you remember when Sandu Shengshou went back home and whipped himself?”  
“...”  
“And Jin Ling brought you back to him! Jin Ling wasn’t bluffing. Remember how much time you took to help him with his golden core? How hard was it to rebuild it?! Do you remember when the sect leader was totally helpless? He... he... you can’t leave him alone. Do you understand?”  
“But, Meng Yao... I love you.”  
“You don’t. And even if you do, Zewu-Jun, forget about it! Forget me completely! Did you ever felt like something was holding you back while you were touching him? Did it feel awkward when you kissed? Did you two kiss?”  
“Meng Yao...”  
“Forget me. I am a ghost, gege! A GHOST! I won’t ever come back! I don’t want to come back! My job in this world is done! Do you understand? I hoped that if I collaborated with Wei Wuxian and your brother, something would change. But you are so stubborn, I can’t believe it. I had to convince some juniors to put incense in your rooms. Why are you so dense? Can’t you see it? You’re not Jiang Wanyin’s cultivation therapist, nor you are supposed to treat his wounds. You’re not his medic. But you did! You did help him! He wouldn’t even allow it randomly. He loves you! Do you understand? He. Loves. You.”  
“How can he? We haven’t talked that much.... we didn’t have a relationship of any sorts before.”  
Jin Guangyao sighs and rubs his eyes, stressed.  
“For him... it didn’t happen yesterday.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“It seems like you are even dumber than I was. Let me show you. Relax.” Lan Xichen complied, completely bewitched by Jin Guangyao. He feels a finger being pressed on his forehead and he faints.

‘Cloud Recesses. Before the Sunshot Campaign.  
Jiang Cheng, a newly made sect leader is stressed. He paces in front of the main hall and thinks hard. He can’t ask for help. He can’t be weak. Especially in front of him. He respects Zewu-Jun the most and... and he just wants a lesson about self-control from this righteous man. He bites his lips until blood seeps into his mouth. Ouch. Is he that nervous? Quickly, he shakes off these emotions.  
The man dressed in white and with his cloud-patterned forehead ribbon suddenly emerges from inside. His long hair flows on his back, brushed to perfection. The majestic headpiece exudes elegance and wealth. His walk is gracious, his hands beautiful, his stature imposing. The most beautiful man of the cultivation world, Lan Xichen, Zewu-Jun.  
Jiang Cheng feels the urge to kowtow and submit entirely to him. He has to keep reminding himself that they are equal in grade and he can’t do any stupid shit.  
Fuck. His chest tightens when the other man approaches.   
Lan Xichen feels like this memory is similar to another one... maybe when he met Jing Cheng before he went into seclusion?  
Jiang Cheng does his best at not showing his feelings. He breathes, but the entire air is sucked by the golden aura around this angel. He feels like he is losing his mind. Is it his grief that makes him so unreasonably thirsty for a huh, for any type of warmth? He remembers how nervous he was when he went to the Gusu Lan cultivation classes. He’s much better now, that is clear.  
<<Greetings, Zewu-Jun!>> His voice booms in the entire Cloud Recesses. He’s a bit embarassed by his enthusiasm, but brushes it off, focusing on the incoming conversation.  
<<Greetings, sect leader.>> A radiant smile sends sharp knives to Jiang Cheng’s heart. It is already bleeding in this moment. <<What brings you here? How can I help?>>  
Always so courteous, so kind. He could never be such a good person.  
<<I’m here to ask Gusu Lan clan for.. for... for moral support...>> He whips his head to the side. Red faced, he can’t look in Lan Xichen’s direction again. The older man chuckles and urges him to do exactly so, despite his embarrassment.  
<<Jiang Wanyin. Do you want me to play the guqin for you?>>  
<<Yes... for the peace of mind... before... the battle... It’s not like I am a big fan of it! I am definitely not. It’s just for some soul cleansing!>>  
Even on the verge of a war eruption, Jiang Cheng’s heart still yearned for Lan Xichen. When he disappeared he was madly worried. And to top that, Wei Wuxian even disappeared after he regained his golden core. He felt like he needed a little comfort from a tall guy, dressed in mourning clothes, smiling reassuringly with his amber eyes.  
They sat by the waterfalls and Jiang Cheng cultivated with the sound of the magnificent guqin being played in the background.’

Lan Xichen wakes up abruptly. Jin Guangyao is watching him, worry written all over his face. Lan Xichen looks at his shaky hands and breathes in deeply. Has he ignored the other’s feelings for so long? Was Jiang Cheng really concerned about him? No. That can’t be the case. No way. An overwhelming pain engulfs Lan Xichen and he starts crying loudly, his whole body curling into a ball, shaking violently. Jin Guangyao knows he can’t hug him and he knows there’s little time left.  
“This is why I came, Lan Xichen. I wanted you to know that I never lied to you and I never wanted to harm you! I was jealous and self-centered and I enjoyed your attention selfishly. But I can redeem myself by telling you this: Jiang Cheng only has you in his heart and it has been like that for a while. Please, give him a chance. I know there’s the lust growing inside you and this gutt-splitting need for fervent touch, but look into his soul. You need each other. It’s much more than pleasure that you should seek.”  
Lan Xichen was still crying. When Jin Guangyao’s hands touched his again, he raised his head and stopped this craziness. He wiped his tears and adopted a serious face.  
“Are you coming back?”  
“I don’t think so.”  
“Why?”  
“I am done here. I have revealed you what I should have said when I was alive. Now I can take my way to.. hell probably.”  
“I can put your soul pieces back. I can help you come alive again.”  
“I don’t want that.”  
“Why?”  
“My time is long gone. I should leave.”  
“Are you going to leave me alone?”  
“... have you listened to a word I said?”  
An unusual and scary anger enveloped Lan Xichen. A very different kind of feeling he doesn’t remember ever experiencing took over him.  
“HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY? WHY WOULD HE WANT ME? HE PROBABLY THINKS I AM FUN AND THAT’S ALL! WHAT IS THERE SO GOOD ABOUT ME? WHAT DO I HAVE AND OTHERS DON’T? HE’S SANDU SHENGSHOU. HE’S POWERFUL AND DETERMINED AND AND-“  
“And what?”  
Lan Xichen turns his head towards the voice who made its entrance. He whips his head back to look at Jin Guangyao, but he’s gone and there is nobody else in the indoor garden. Maybe he’s gone mad. He goes on the corridor and stares at the man dressed in purple. His hair is a bit astray and Lan Xichen gets close to him, in order to brush his hair a bit with his fingers. They sit on the ground, just like that, not minding their sect leader clothes. Lan Xichen undoes the ribbon in Jiang Cheng’s hair and they both know what the other is going to do, without feeling the need to talk. Jiang Cheng puts his hand around Lan Xichen’s waist and pulls him closer.  
“And what?” He whispers in a husky voice.  
“-and hot.” Lan Xichen almost can’t believe he blurted these words, but he doesn’t mind it now. He has to tie Jiang Cheng’s hair, he has to-  
“No.” The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader refuses it confidently.  
“Why?”  
“No need.”  
Jiang Cheng’s hair is much shorter than Lan Xichen’s and not even as inky as his, but the older would definitely claim that the lighter color is alluring.  
“Tie it around my neck.”  
“!!!”  
“You heard me.”  
“This is too shameless...”  
“Is it uncomfortable for you?” Lan Xichen doesn’t reply. It’s not, but he’s scared someone will see them. He doesn’t feel the rush of alcohol in his veins anymore, he doesn’t want to do anything rash. “I’m sorry. Let’s stop. I’ll go to-“  
But Lan Xichen already gripped the ribbon in the other’s hands and started tying it losely around his hands.  
“You can-“  
“I don’t want to tie it around your neck.”  
“It won’t hurt me.”  
“Not tonight. I have other plans.”  
Other plans... those words sent shivers on Jiang Cheng’s spine and he whined with anticipation.   
They both felt possessed by a force they couldn’t control. It flowed through their veins, it overpowered any barriers set up in their hearts and any other opposing forces in their minds. It had the power to turn someone into a total beast, a beast who only acted for desire. They got up and Jiang Cheng was dragged by Lan Xichen into the latter’s room.  
After the door was closed, Lan Xichen pressed the younger cultivator on the door kissing him fervently. Jiang Cheng had his hands bound, he couldn’t resist even if he wanted to. But what a lucky situation! He had no intentions like that.  
“A-Cheng...”  
The sweet voice tingled Jiang Cheng’s senses, making his knees weak.  
“A-Cheng, are you sure about this?”  
“What is there to not be sure about? Do I not know how I feel?”  
“N-no.. I... About this whole thing. A-Cheng... maybe you don’t like me. But I like you! You should know... I really like you. I wasn’t so sure before, but now I can tell clearly. And it’s okay! Even if you don’t like me that much if you don’t want to do this... I know we had a similar conversation before. But I like you and I want... I... I want to be with you..” Lan Xichen’s ears were crimson red and he didn’t dare to look into the other’s eyes. Jiang Cheng was probably mad or not impressed and Lan Xichen thought he’d feel sad if he looked.  
“Untie me.”  
“O..okay..” Lan Xichen was biting his bottom lip, trying hard to hold back his tears. He acted like a kid and tried to convince the other that he felt something really important for him. But maybe Jiang Cheng didn’t believe him and actually was mocking him in his mind. Maybe he-  
Jiang Cheng pushed Lan Xichen on the bed, surprising the older cultivator. He sat on his lap, putting his hands around his neck. It was deeply disturbing for him to act like that, but Lan Xichen seemed anxious for some reason and he had to deal with it.  
“Gege.” The Yunmeng Jiang sect leader looked at his older cultivation partner under his lashes and opened his lips only slightly. Noticing Lan Xichen didn’t get a hint, he kissed him, tilting his head a bit to deepen their connection. Instinctively, a pair of strong arms embraced his waist bringing them closer. The arms wanted to retreat after a while, but Jiang Cheng pulled them back, encouraging Zewu-Jun to caress his back. It was only a kiss, but Jiang Cheng was aroused and he felt way too hot. Soft moans escaped his lips as their tongues stroked each other. Unconsciously, he also opened his legs a little more. Soon there was no space left between their bodies.  
When they parted, both of them panted, breathless and looking for more friction. Lan Xichen took off his head piece and his pretty hair was flowing on his shoulders. Jiang Cheng loved his hair to death as it resembled a magpie’s feather. The gentle eyes was staring at him and Jiang Cheng stole glances at the beautiful features of the man in front of him.   
With shaky hands, he reached for the forehead ribbon and just touched it lightly.  
“The Gusu Lan restraint...”   
“A-Cheng... take it off.” Jiang Cheng’s vision blurred and suddenly cleared in a matter of seconds. He stared incredulously at Zewu-Jun.  
“We have no incense here.”  
“That’s why I’m asking you. Take it off. It’s what I want.”  
“Are you sure about it?”  
“I am.” He placed a peck on Jiang Cheng’s moist lips. “You can have it. I trust you.”  
‘I trust you.’ Those words will definitely leave a mark in Jiang Cheng’s heart.   
“I trust you, too, Lan Xichen. I like you. I fucking like you, gege. I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY LOVE YOU!”  
Lan Xichen’s eyes grow bigger and his breath hitches in his throat.   
“Love...”  
“Yes, I love you. Are you surprised? You probably knew what I felt for you.”  
“A-Cheng...” The older man starts shedding tears, quietly, not daring to raise his head.  
“Oh, what the fuck?! Grow up! You’re a sect leader, why are you crying?”  
“I-“  
“If you can’t say it, don’t say it now. I’d rather wait than have you tell me a lie.”  
“You.. how can you say that? Doesn’t that mean I am a lowlife and I don’t deserve your love? How can I let your love be one-sided? Isn’t that greedy of me? You should hate me.”  
“Hahaha, you’re so dumb, Zewu-Jun, did you know? I expected you be more in-check with your feelings, but you’re like a small boy when you try to express them. Don’t worry. I-I don’t need you to love me. I want you to stay with me. I want you to accept me and not treat me like a depressed failure.”  
“But if I sleep with you right now... wouldn’t that be shameless of me? I don’t want to offend you.”   
“What do you want to say?”  
“I say... maybe we shouldn’t do this...”  
Jin Guangyao’s words resound in his head. Fuck. How could he? He rejected Jiang Cheng like that knowing too well that they both harbour the same feelings for each other. Such an inconsiderate person!  
Luckily, Jiang Cheng didn’t intend to let go. He was hoping he wouldn’t be abandoned though he considered that as well.  
“I don’t mind it.” His voice was shaking, but he still managed to speak. “I love you and I want you to know that. It only matters if you ‘want’ to sleep with me. I won’t force you to do anything.” 

Lan Xichen had no idea what to do. His heart was burning with love for Jiang Wanyin like a fire would burn outside in a cold night. It was meant to warm one’s body and heart and not to let him get ill or too sad. He’d be happy watching the flames, not daring to approach them as his faith in his own powers was lacking. But then... by the same fire sat a man, looking rather fierce, with a foul mouth and a profoundly handsome face. Lan Xichen was bewitched, he couldn’t wait to approach that man, but the big fire separated them. The other man extended his hand over the fire, for Lan Xichen to get it. But he was afraid and he also did not understand how the other man did not get burnt with his hand being engulfed by the scorching fire. He was constantly urged to reach the hand and take it so he would ease the other’s pain, but truth is he was scared out of his skin. Last time he extended the hand and caught another one, he got burnt. Hard.  
But this other man seemed to be more trustworthy and much more considerate of his feelings and didn’t push him into doing something he didn’t dare to. This man waited patiently. But Lan Xichen noticed how the hand started to blacken and he was worried the other man wouldn’t retreat. What if he’d try to grasp the hand in the last moment, but the younger would retract it without notice? Wouldn’t he be heartbroken?  
There’s still a voice in his head that tells him it’s all different now. The heart agrees with the inner voice and for once his mind and heart agree to a thing. Lan Xichen thinks he’d be considered a madman and he starts crying out of frustration. How do you explain a man who trusts you with his life that you don’t trust yourself to withstand the power of the flame? How do you explain you’re afraid because of past experiences?  
The man still holds his hand in place. It’s not threatening, nor he feels like he has the duty to grab it. But he gathers all the courage he has left, he inhales and exhales and uses his entire spiritual power and takes the hand, full force, extinguishing the fire just to bring Jiang Cheng to the other side, to bring him closer. The fire then is ignited even more powerfully and their lips touch, hungrily.

Jiang Cheng has removed Lan Xichen’s forehead ribbon and lets himself fall on the bed with Lan Xichen.


	17. My Whole Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lan Xichen and Jiang Wanyin try something new, but they are too shy to end what they have started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning! Sexual content, swearing, self hate.  
> Phew, this took a loooot to write, I’m sorry I was delayed, but I hope you will enjoy this one because I am about to break your hearts. :d

Jiang Cheng watches the forehead ribbon in his hands. It’s silky and the cloud design makes it an exquisite piece. If he thinks about it, Jiang Cheng would say that it fits Lan Xichen. 

When removed, the Gusu Lan sect leader’s hair spreads on the bed. Jiang Cheng is on top and he can admire the view just fine. ‘He looks like a fairy’, he thinks. A pile of black and well-combed hair only to be messed up by him in the next hours. A few strands were hanging on the beauty’s face and it was such an ethereal sight that the younger one tried to hold his breath and wake himself up. But no. Everything was real.  
“Gege.... c-can I touch you? Not in that way!! Just...”  
Lan Xichen guides Jiang Cheng’s hand on his chest to feel the heartbeat. It was calm, just like the owner of it. No surprise Lan Xichen rarely got angry.   
The cultivator’s smile never faltered. Jiang Wanyin was the world for him and he wanted to let him to know that. With a pair of hands on his chest the moment already felt so intimate. Jiang Cheng lowered himself and his head fell on the older’s chest as he listened to the calming sound. Lan Xichen was scared to touch him, in case he’d vanish, like a beautiful dream in the morning.  
But being perceptive, Jiang Cheng figured it out and urged the other to caress his hair. With small and attentive strokes, Lan Xichen gently comforted the other.   
“A-Cheng...”  
“Hm?”  
“Never leave me...”  
“?”  
“I-I have done a lot of bad things and I drove people away. Both my brothers have died and I couldn’t protect them. I might be too weak to protect you, too. But please... stay with me.”  
“Lan Huan.”  
“?!”  
“You helped me accomplish a task like strengthening my golden core and you’re still wondering if you can protect me? It’s not your physical power that helped me, but rather your gentle and ever so caring self that allowed me to come to my senses. Don’t worry about that. I won’t leave you.”  
They sat in silence for a while until Jiang Cheng felt indescribably hot. When the realization hit him, he covered his face.   
“Aaaa, Lan Xichen, I-I have to go!”  
“You said you wouldn’t leave me!”  
“But this... this is shameless.”  
“What?” After a few seconds, Zewu-Jun was hit by the fact (quite literally) and his ears turned red. Instead of hiding behind his fingers, he grabbed both of Jiang Cheng’s hands and suddenly sat up, the other one still in his lap. “Eh? Embarassed?” A different kind of smile was plastered on his face this time. “Do you think... I would let you go now?”  
“Lan Xichen! Stop this! It’s shameless!”  
“Now you’re the one to ask for decency? Were was it a few days ago when you attacked me? Or did you forget maybe? Shall I help you remember?”  
“Gege! Lan Xichen! Don’t you- ah.”  
The older’s lips were on his neck, sucking and biting, careful not to bruise. His arms were around the younger’s waist, rubbing through the clothes. He stopped his actions and ‘Hmph’-ed with a great indignation.  
“You’re still fully clothed. Time to change that.”  
Lan Xichen removes Jiang Cheng’s outer robe and he throws it as far as he can.  
“Hey! That was expens-“  
“Shh, or I will start ripping them.” That surely shut him up.  
Afterwards, the purple robe follows, being thrown who-knows-where. Jiang Cheng is left with the white underclothes and he feels a bit exposed and neglected. Why hasn’t Lan Xichen done the same? With a hint of jealousy in his tone, Jiang Cheng tries to coax the other to do the same, but he faces refusal.  
“I will strike you a thousand times with Zidian! You dare refuse Yunmeng Jiang sect leader? You’re being extremely disrespectful and I will not let this pass in-“  
His mouth is covered by the other’s and he moans with pleasure, not minding those who could hear him. The way Lan Xichen kisses him is addicting and he wouldn’t have it in any other way. His undershirt is removed and he’s pushed on his back on the bed. Jiang Cheng takes off his undershirt. Lan Xichen attacks his chest ferociously not holding back a bit. He leaves marks over his heart and well-toned abdomen and then works with his nipples. His inky hair falls on the sides of his face, pooling at Jiang Cheng’s side. The Yunmeng Jiang cultivator writhes in pleasure and arches his back, trying to minimize the distance between them. Lan Xichen gently pushes him back on the bed, holding his waist with a hand. Jiang Cheng is mad, but the madness only messes with his head and makes him feel hotter. He wants the last two pieces of his clothing off.   
“Hmm, gege...”  
“Yes, A-Cheng?”  
“I-“ no. It sounds dumb and weird and childish and why would a sect leader like him even say that, what the fuck is he-  
“A-Cheng~”  
Jiang Cheng grips the sheets and bites his lower lip. That voice is taking him to the edge. He can’t resist it even when he struggles to.  
“I want gege to... to... fuck I can’t say it.”  
Lan Xichen’s face gets closer to his and Jiang Cheng is spared from the effort. He grabs the other’s collar and captures his lips in another kiss.  
The Gusu Lan sect leader starts removing his clothes as well until he only wears his pants, mirroring his lover. Jiang Cheng takes the time to admire. It’s a wonderful body, there’s no doubt he deserves being called the most beautiful man of the cultivation world. Broad back, lean body, strong muscles and a small and rather delicate waist. He wishes it to be his for the rest of their lives. He wishes he can wake up every single day admiring him, praising him, pressing kisses on his lips and hair. He wants to caress his face, his hands, his arms, be entangled with him for the night and rest with him lazily during the day, cultivating in hope of ascension. Maybe they can even ascend together. But he’s a sinner and he knows that. He’s greedy, wanting the man only for himself. He wants to be happy, to have a peaceful life with a very handsome man and he only wants the one above him. He wants to feel those eyes burning into his skull every single day of his life for the rest of the time he has to live. He wants the rush of sex, the pleasure and the joy of waking up to find himself marked by the one he slept with. He wants only one man and that is Lan Xichen. Jiang Cheng is in love and at this point it’s so damn obvious, that even an idiot would guess it. But he doesn’t care. He loves being obvious so the dumbass that Zewu-Jun is would guess his intentions.  
Between the kisses, Lan Xichen struggles to undress both of them and only after they are both naked they stop for a moment.  
Their hearts already beat at the same pace, they just don’t know it yet. The dual cultivation they have done so far connected their souls in such a way that not even death might be able to part them. They have established a connection some people can only dream about. And it was all by chance.  
A few years ago, this angry sect leader wouldn’t have guessed the older man might reciprocate his love and the rather calm sect leader didn’t even think someone would love him again.  
But it happened.   
Jiang Cheng thought he’d try one more time to have a happy family and Lan Xichen would try to fall in love one more time.  
And it happened.  
They stared at each other for a while, until the awkward question popped in their minds:  
‘Who’s on top?’

Err. We don’t have a clear limitation, this mere observant of these powerful cultivators doesn’t like stereotypes, but it’s clear that Jiang Cheng.... likes praise. And he likes to control everything... from under there. Even if he acts like the dominant side, he, shamelessly of course, thought he’d like to be the one to get it. While Lan Xichen.... barely knew what he had to do and in this moment he just thinks of a way to pleasure Jiang Cheng. Hmm maybe they are much more coordinated than we’d think! A rather innocent mind will always find ways to get rid of difficult situations like this. It looks like they have a solution. But let’s move on with the story!

“You should... aaa how do you like it?”  
“Me?!” Lan Xichen is baffled. What is he supposed to like? Isn’t there only one way to do it? Someone gets on top and-   
But no. Really it can’t be that simple! Especially if you want to make the other person feel good. There should be a guide somewhere. He only experienced it once or twice (can’t even remember hah...) and it wasn’t so notable.. “You decide that. I’m okay with anything to be honest. I just want you to feel good.” Haha isn’t he such an intelligent man?  
“Well... are you tired?”  
This question... Lan Xichen doesn’t understand anything so he replies honestly: “No.”  
“Then I think, ahem, you should be the one to... AH FUCKING HELL LAN XICHEN YOU CAN’T BE THAT OBVIOUS!”  
“???”  
“Okay. I’m getting impatient. You can... you can... aaah, gege....”  
Lan Xichen lowered his head and started doing the most obvious thing: he started sucking Jiang Cheng as skillfully as he could.  
He was gentle, not leaving a single space untouched. He recalls seeing it in a book, secretly tucked in Cloud Recesses by Wei Wuxian. Shame engulfed him when he discovered it, but he couldn’t help and just went through a few pages out of curiosity. He deduced that when you love someone, you have to show them by worshipping their body and Lan Xichen is doing just that! He tries to get the whole thing inside his mouth, but chokes halfway.   
“Ayioh! Slow down! Are you okay?! Gege?!”  
“I’m fine, I’m fine... “   
He twirls his tongue around it and sucks harshly from time to time, also giving a few light tugs at the base of the shaft. Bobbing his head, up and down, Lan Xichen tries to focus on pleasuring his lover and doesn’t mind the tears that form in the corner of his eyes. But Jiang Cheng notices and he convinces the other one to stop. Zewu-Jun raises his eyes to look at Sandu Shengshou and bats his lashes in an attempt to look adorable. It works!  
Jiang Cheng brings him into a kiss.   
“It’s enough, you did well, Xichen-gege. Help me get comfortable now.” The older man carries him on the pillows, letting him down slowly as if he was made of glass and kisses his neck. Jiang Cheng envelops him in an embrace, his hands caressing the broad back he likes so much. A pair of strong arms is propped on the sides of his head. He glances at them and the scars he got during his seclusion are too obvious now. He wants to touch them, to kiss them, to tell him it’s going to be alright, but he’s afraid he’d go overboard with those actions. He diverts his attention to the handsome face staring at him.  
“A-Cheng, don’t worry. They don’t hurt anymore.”  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to stare.”  
“It’s fine. Why should I hide them? You can touch them if you want to.”  
Jiang Cheng extends his hand shakily and gingerly presses his fingers down and traces them, afraid they might open again. The skin is rough and you can tell by the size that they were very painful.  
“When you came to Lotus Pier and hugged me, begging me to come to my senses... those were quite fresh, weren’t they?”  
“A-Cheng..”  
“And you said nothing. And probably your hands were bloody and so were your sleeves, but I was so immersed into my problems that I didn’t notice it.”  
“A-Cheng, it’s fine, I-“  
“And so, as long as you stayed in Lotus Pier you didn’t even mention them too much. How can I be so selfish?”  
“No, A-Cheng, listen-“  
“How the fuck do I dare to ask for your love when I can’t even show you as much love as you deserve? How do I dare to-“  
“Jiang Wanyin! Stop this! It’s too much.”  
“No. You listen here. As long as I am alive, I won’t allow you to get hurt again. If I somehow fail to protect you, I will break the legs of the person who- no, I will break their neck if they dare to touch you. Only I am allowed to caress you and nobody in this world can harm you in any way. Yes. I am possessive as fuck, but I love you, Lan Huan. I love you so much that my heart feels like bursting out of my chest. I want-“  
“I love you, too..”   
It was quiet, almost like a whisper, said in such a low voice that if you weren’t attentive you would have missed it. Like a butterfly suddenly sits on your arm, small, fragile, but so precious and in the next moment he’s gone, but you can see him flying away, lingering around for a while.  
“You-“  
“I love you, Jiang Cheng.”  
The manly man attitude he wanted to maintain broke down and you could see the remaining shards on the floor. Tears fell down his cheeks and Lan Xichen could swear the most beautiful being on earth was just in front of him, looking so frail. He kissed the tears and then he started pressing small pecks on his whole face. He understood those words meant a lot for the younger man and he promised to never use them in vain.  
“A-Cheng..”  
“It’s gonna hurt, I know. But do not mind my tears, I-“  
“I’ll try to make it as less painful as I can. I can’t hurt my 宝贝. You should enjoy it as much as possible.”  
Jiang Cheng glances at Lan Xichen’s whole body and he notices the big thing he had down there.  
Fuck. So much with being comfortable. But he’d lie if he said he wasn’t excited. He met a few girls that never really made him so eager to be intimate with. He licked his lips, concentrating on the good parts of the sex: it’s THE Zewu-Jun he’s sleeping with and the man above actually loves him.   
Lan Xichen lines up with his entrance, kissing his lips and neck, letting his tongue explore the exposed and already flushed skin. The older murmurs a small “I love you” in his ear and he shudders with anticipation. His hands are around Lan Xichen’s neck and he’s holding on tightly, afraid that if he let go, this illusion would go away. He’s penetrated slowly, kisses incessantly flooding his consciousness. It’s not that painful, he discovers, but the feeling is overwhelming and he shuts his eyes tightly and tenses all his muscles. Putting the legs around the other’s waist, it feels like he’s just riding on whatever he’s given and wonders if that would be too passive of him.   
Lan Xichen leaves him no time to think. While he’s deeply buried inside, he whispers a lot of praises in his ears and holds him gently in his arms. His arms caress his back, feeling the scars that would never go away.   
“A-Cheng, A-Cheng, why did you hurt yourself so much..? It hurts me to only think about the pain you have endured. I wish I came earlier. I wish I were there when you were suffering the most.”  
“You came to me in the right moment. You did well, Lan Xichen.” The long black hair falls around, meddling with the dark brown one of Jiang Cheng. Even if he had shorter hair, Jiang Cheng always carefully braided it and put it in a perfect bun. But now the ribbons of both men were long forgotten in a corner.

The bed was creaking with their erratic movements, them being lost in the passion of the moment, forgetting about their previous conversation. Jiang Cheng was moaning loudly, completely immersed in the way Lan Xichen continuously hit his sweet spot. Lan Xichen’s brows were furrowed and even though he wasn’t as loud as the other man, he was panting, gripping the pillows a bit too much, trying to hold himself back from breaking Jiang Cheng in two.   
They say lust is a much more powerful sensation than love, but I say we should consider they would rather go together. It’s a thing when lust takes over your body during an act like that, but it’s more likely love has pushed you to get to that point. Whispering meaningful words, caring for each other and even minding each other’s preferences is a reminder of the feelings you share and how you try to get in touch with the way the other sees the world.   
It’s the little things that make it special. Jiang Cheng is a grown man, he can’t exactly be broken by Lan Xichen, but in order for pleasure to be guaranteed, precautions must be taken.  
But Lan Xichen feels numb. He doesn’t have the heart to ask Jiang Cheng if he is tired, but it seems like the man under can take it for a longer time. Since they were in-check with each other feelings, Jiang Cheng brings a new suggestion.  
“Go sit in my place”, he says and Lan Xichen is mortified. He has to.. to take it? He’s not sure he’d give a good enough show or maybe the sounds he’d make would be too loud or too embarrassing... But he can’t refuse Jiang Cheng either and gladly sits where is told to.  
But Jiang Cheng raises his hips and just begins to ride the older man. Lan Xichen is really tired and just needs a break, but how can he say that?  
“!!!”  
Zewu-Jun is surprised, pleasantly surprised, but genuinely worries about his safety. What if he falls? What if he grows tired? What if-  
“Fuck. You’re even hotter when I ride you.”  
Lan Xichen’s ears turn crimson red and look like they’re just about to bleed. He loses his hearing for a few seconds and his vision is spinning. Jiang Cheng notices his frustration and teases him some more.  
“Xichen-gege! Ah! You’re so handsome, I’d fuck you for a whole day. I’d bind you with Zidian and I’d ride you just like this until I can’t feel my legs. Next time when you’re doing this maybe you want to tie my hands with your forehead ribbon.”  
“Shameless... so shameless...”  
“What? Is your integrity destroyed by a few naughty words? Do I need to tune it down? But I like it so much when you are inside me.”  
Lan Xichen really can’t take it anymore and grips Jiang Cheng’s hips and makes him stay still.  
“Stop... A-Cheng... too... ah too much...”  
“Lan Xichen? Gege are you okay? Gege?!”  
He gets off Lan Xichen and cups his face with his hands. Lan Xichen’s face is unusually red and hot.  
“Do you have a fever? Gege?!”  
“I am.. fine.. it’s just.... I enjoyed it too much... and it’s overwhelming..”  
“Why didn’t you tell me to stop?”  
“When you started talking dirty... I was really aroused... but I released too many times. Aren’t you tired?”  
“Not that much... I thought you were enjoying it and I... I’m sorry... I have been selfish again.”  
“No! Please! Don’t say that. It was amazing, trust me. But we should rest for now.”  
“I fucked it up. I’m such a big idiot. Ah what the hell, Jiang Cheng!!!!!!”  
“No, A-Cheng, please...”  
Lan Xichen feels extremely bad and he thinks it’s his fault that the atmosphere changed so fast.  
“I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I’ll leave. I’m sorry!”  
Jiang Cheng gets up, ashamed and really angry with himself, dresses up, picks his forehead ribbon and leaves the room. Lan Xichen, as usual, blames himself and wants to ask Jiang Cheng to come back, but he’s scared, just like he has been scared in the past. 

Jiang Cheng knows Lan Xichen probably blames himself for what happened, but he will tell him eventually it wasn’t his fault. It’s just he feels too ashamed to show his face in this moment. If anyone else was in Lan Xichen’s place, he’d probably have been kicked out. Zewu-Jun is too nice, too gentle. He crossed the border and the problem is he didn’t notice it at all. Jiang Cheng wants to beat himself with Zidian again, but Lan Xichen wouldn’t let it pass. He clenches his fists and starts crying in the darkness of his own room. ‘Jiang Wanyin! You don’t deserve love. You managed to hurt everyone you loved. Great job.’  
They both just wish the other would suggest reconciliation so they’d try to get some love, just one more time.


	18. The Ambush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The choices we make can change the world. Or that’s what Lan Xichen thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings! Sexual content, violence, strong language, blood, implied death of a character. I am sorry for the emotional distress, but this had to happen sooner or later :( I hope you can still enjoy it!

Lan Xichen was peacefully sleeping in his room when Jin Ling burst in Cloud Recesses, looking mortified. 

All the disciples were tucked in their beds, sleeping as well when Jin Ling let out a cry like an animal stuck in a trap.  
The birds were sleeping, even the waterfalls were rather quiet. The silence before the storm they’d call it.  
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were resting after their usual agitated night.  
It was 4 a.m, before anyone in Cloud Recesses even thought about waking up.  
Lan Xichen was, by default, the first one to get up, like the responsible sect leader he was.   
“Who’s there?!” He didn’t recognize the cry. And after all... who would? It didn’t sound like Jin Ling’s voice or anything at all. It was just a terrifying screech of help.  
“UNCLE! UNCLE! PLEASE COME HELP!”  
“Jin Ling?” He got dressed as fast as he could and tried to locate the owner of the voice. As soon as he found the young sect leader, he believed he woke up in a bad dream.   
“Sect leader! Greetings! Zewu-Jun!! Please!! Help me and my uncle...”  
“Your uncle??? What happened?”  
“Th-they attacked Lotus Pier!”  
Soon, everyone was up and gathered around them.  
“How many?”  
“Too many... uncle... he’s fighting them, but I think he’s severely injured! It happened all of a sudden. It’s good I was there because I managed to come ask for help!”  
“Who are they?”  
“... they’re demons probably. I don’t know.”  
So the ones attacking the outskirts of Yunmeng weren’t some burglars. They were sending messages to Jiang Cheng. They wanted to destroy the sect.   
He hasn’t talked to Jiang Cheng since that day, a few weeks ago.   
“For how long has this been going on?”  
“It looks like they’ve been fighting for more than two days. I just managed to see the fight from outside and since I was clearly outnumbered I came to seek help. I announced the matters to my sect, but most elders didn’t want to help so I had to come here.”  
“I see. I wonder why Sandu Shengshou didn’t send for help.” Lan Xichen’s guilty conscience started hitting him in the head. Could it be because he was mad with him?  
“Maybe everyone he sent was killed. I think the demon gather-up is huge, bigger than we expect. I sent someone to talk to the Qinghe Nie sect leader, but I don’t expect master Nie to help us.... especially because he doesn’t like conflict.”  
“Qinghe Nie sect leader Nie Huaisang? Huh. He’ll help. But is my brother okay?” Wei Wuxian was late, like everyone was used to.  
“Uncle...” Jin Ling burst into tears and that told him only one thing...  
“We have to go there. Lan Zhan, take everything you have. We’re ready for this.”  
Lan Wangji took Wei Wuxian’s hand and glared at him.  
“Wei Ying, you promised me something.”  
“I didn’t forget that.”  
“Good.... Then I trust you with it. Brother, are you coming?”  
“Yes. Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi!”  
“Yes!”  
“Please guard the sect. Set up barriers and make sure nobody leaves or comes in. I’m only taking a few disciples and elders. The rest of you should stay safe and protect. What happened many years ago, won’t repeat. I promised that. We’re stronger. Master Jin Rulan. Are you coming with us?”  
“I will help them here. I-I think I’m a better help in Cloud Recesses. There must be a sect leader to umm... help with things around...”

Considering there was a big threat for all of the sects now...  
Jin Ling was scared Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi might get hurt. If Lan Sizhui was doubting Jin Rulan for not coming to pick him up to go to the Carp Tower, he was then convinced it was just he had been busy and there was also that problem that unexpectedly disturbed their lives. He was impressed that the young sect leader wanted to stay with him even at a time like this, when probably he should have gone to help his uncle. But he knew that Jin Ling swore to protect even the common folk and specificied he didn’t intend to let anyone down. The infatuation added... Jin Ling was willing to protect Lan Sizhui with the cost of his life, trusting that the elders would handly the Yunmeng problem well and that the Lanling Jin elders will consider protecting his own sect.  
The two young men exchanged glances and smiled reassuringly at each other. Lan Sizhui didn’t want the Lanling Jin sect leader to feel bad that he stayed to protect him, but in the same time who couldn’t help, but adore him a little more.  
“Brother. We’re older now, we can do it.”  
“I hope so, Wangji. This makes me worried and I think this could have been... it would not have happened if I was a bit.. a bit more considerate... I really messed up...”  
“It doesn’t matter what you have or haven’t done, brother. But this is not your fault.”  
“You don’t know..”  
“Maybe I don’t, but if you didn’t personally go to the said demons and convinced them to attack Lotus Pier then it is not your fault!”  
“I would never!”  
“Then it’s settled. Stay strong. Sect leader Jiang Wanyin needs your powers, not your tears.”  
“Yes, you’re right. We should get going.”

Even though they moved as fast as they could, it still took them almost two days to arrive in Yunmeng. Everyone was panicked and most people were hidden in their houses. Lan Xichen took the initiative to ask around about the current situation.  
He was met with different answers, but the most common one was that from inside Lotus Pier you could hear incessant screaming and they were mortified. Those who tried to help were killed in the process and so everone was scared to leave their homes. Lan Xichen let a few strong elders guard the towns around Lotus Pier and then he rushed towards the Yunmeng Jiang sect’s headquarters.   
All of those who came to fight let out a gasp when they finally faces the main entrance. Blood was flowing in rivers and corpses of disciples were scattered around. Lan Xichen let out a shaky gasp.  
“A-Cheng...”  
Wei Wuxian was horrified. His hands were shaking and a few wisps of black smokes emerged from behind his robes.  
“Wei Ying! Calm down!”  
“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan... I will kill them all!”  
“Wei Ying! Listen to me! Calm down!”  
“I will destroy their lair and-“  
“WEI YING!” Lan Wangji gripped Wei Wuxian’s shoulders and shook them. The younger eventually came back to reality and released a tear of sorrow. He was gazing at something that didn’t existent in the distance. He sighed deeply.  
“I shouldn’t have left Lotus Pier... I should have visited him more often... Lan Zhan... I’m the worst person ever...”  
“No, Wei Ying this is not your fault! Snap out of it! I am sure sect leader is fine.” Lan Wangji snapped his head in another direction, wild golden eyes staring at a rather crazed man. “BROTHER! Brother! Wait!”  
Lan Xichen erupted in a frenzied run, looking for Jiang Cheng. He kept yelling, but nobody replied to his desperate calls. In his pursuit, Lan Xichen remembered a small and rather insignificant detail, but followed that lead anyways.  
At the very back of Lotus Pier, where they both drank their tea one day, stood a rather odd-looking thing. Lan Xichen’s heart stopped and he fell to his knees. That thing supported itself with the help of a pillar of the small pavilion. It looked red, disheveled, like a dying animal, clothes ripped and eyes closed. The Gusu Lan sect leader forced himself to get on his feet and ran towards the wrecked man.   
“A-Cheng...” Once again he fell on his knees. “A-Cheng. Please. A-Cheng? Do you hear me? A-Cheng..”  
But it was quiet. The fierce and really loud sect leader was quiet. How did Lan Xichen know the identity of the bloodied man? It was quite simple. He had a Gusu Lan robe crumpled in his hands as he was holding it against his chest. It was the robe Lan Xichen gifted Jiang Wanyin on the day he came to Lotus Pier.  
“A-Cheng. It’s not funny. Wake up. Come on, it’s time to wake up. A-Cheng~”  
The man kept the silence, refusing to utter any word. Lan Xichen thought he was mocking him and tried to make him open his eyes. But to no avail. He approached the other man’s face and there was no sign of breathing. He was too scared to check the pulse. Extending his hand, he finally pressed two fingers on the side of Jiang Cheng’s neck and there was only a faint trace.  
“You’re playing with me! Come on, lift up the technique, I’m really tired, A-Cheng!! I’ve been running all day to find you!”  
Checking for the golden core, Lan Xichen discovered it was... quiet. Empty. Nothing as the aura even of some remains of such thing. Lan Xichen frantically tried to make the Yunmeng Jiang sect leader wake up, but there was no reply. He used a lot of spiritual power to heal the wounds on Jiang Cheng’s body, but he had no idea the other had a gaping hole in his chest that definitely wasn’t so easy to get rid of. A splitting headache made him scream with pain and he put his hands on the sides of his head, trying to cure the pain. It was so sudden, but somehow the pain felt familiar.  
A person emerged from the shadows.  
“Does it hurt, Lan Xichen?”  
“WHO ARE YOU?!” The Gusu Lan sect leader jumped on his feet, wobbling from the nausea created by the headache.  
“It doesn’t really matter who I am. But I am so grateful I managed to destroy your life, just like your brother destroyed mine along with Wei Wuxian. It’s fine that I managed to kill this idiot and I took what you valued the most in the same time. I figured out life is futile in your imagination, so I got creative. I hope you like it. Now.. since my job is done, the Qishan Wen clan can rest in peace. Even if Wei Wuxian tries to find us, we will be long gone. Call us demons or whatever, but you all deserved what you got! We’ll disappear from this world and so will your lovely life you had until now. And I feel so happy that someone else will be blamed.”  
“STOP TALKING! WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY DID YOU HURT A-CHENG? I WILL RIP OFF YOUR GUTS! COME HERE, I WILL SEND YOU BACK TO HELL!”  
“Don’t worry. Hell is where I am going to anyways. And so are your friends.” A cruel smiled appeared on the disfigured face that spoke and the silhouette disappeared just as fast as it came, not letting Lan Xichen to blink. The headache vanished, but the pain in his heart grew to a really intense level. He wanted to scream for help, to ask the others to help Jiang Cheng, to save him, to bring him back to life, but he was just choking with sobs. He sat on the ground, taking the hurt man in his arms, protecting him from the bad guys.  
“Don’t worry, A-Cheng, I will save you! I love you so much, you don’t even know. I will save you, I promise. We will get married and we will adopt-“  
Dahung. Where was Dahung?! He can’t leave Jiang Cheng here. Ah, what to do?!   
“WANGJI! Wangji?! Brother, where are you??? BROTHER, I NEED HELP!” But he couldn’t yell anymore after that. He has to save the kid. He can’t carry Jiang Cheng, he’s too tired and he’d delay the search lf the child. He tried to heal the one he was in love with, but since he didn’t manage to solve the problem, maybe he should at least search for the child Jiang Cheng promised to protect. It was his job to try to do the same.   
He carried Jiang Cheng to the entrance of the temple and let him in a sitting position, just like when he was awake.  
“Stay here, little brother. I will bring the child here so we can escape this place, okay? I know he must be around this place.”  
Lan Xichen carefully stepped inside the temple where everything was still.  
“Dahung? Yin Dahung? Gege is here! Come to gege.”  
A little sob told Lan Xichen he was on the right track.  
“A-Hung!! Come to gege! Come, let’s go get the grumpy gege so we can leave this place, okay?”  
A small and dirty child came from behind a pillar and jumped into Lan Xichen’s arms.   
“Gege! Gege.... grumpy gege is hurt...”

If the child was told to hide inside the temple, how would he know about Jiang Wanyin’s situation? He shoved the suspicious thoughts aside.

“I know. But we will save him, okay? Come on. We have to go to my home. If you stop crying, I will buy you lotus pods.”  
“Okay. Not crying, not crying.”  
Back at the entrance, a Jiang Cheng who was still asleep was sitting, not moving an inch.  
“Come on, little brother. We have to go. You have to wake up, because I can’t carry you, too.” Lan Xichen noticed a suspicious shadow in the corner of his eyes and he put Yin Dahung on the ground, next to the other man and spun around, trying to catch a glimpse of the intruder. In a flash, his stomach was pierced by an arrow, being left with no time to react. The horrible pain engulfed his being and with the desperate cries of Yin Dahung on the background, he fainted.

Lan Xichen woke up, hours later, in Cloud Recesses. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi watching over him.   
When he first opened his eyes, he instantly recalled the latest events and stood up, brushing up the excruciating pain in his abdomen.  
“Where’s Jiang Wanyin?”  
Lan Sizhui didn’t have the courage to speak and nor did Lan Jingyi. They just sat there, in complete silence. Only the birds made sounds.  
“Lan Sizhui! You dare disobey your sect leader?!”  
Lan Xichen never, but really never used his power to demand such information, nor did he use his power to scare others off and threaten them.  
“Sect leader... please forgive me, but I don’t know.”  
“Lan Sizhui! Are you lying to me?”  
“I can only provide you with an old information.”  
“Then speak!”  
“He is currently in Yunmeng... in Lotus Pier... they sent the best doctor to him. I don’t know the outcome of the consultation.”  
“I’m going there.”  
“No! Sect leader... you-you can’t.”  
“You dare disrespect me?!”  
“Zewu-Jun”, Lan Jingyi started. “Please understand. It’s a special situation.”  
“You too? Do you want both of you to be expelled out of Cloud Recesses?!”  
“This... this wasn’t our initiative.. Sect leader Jin Rulan ordered this.”  
“???”  
“He... he said-“  
“Greetings, Zewu-Jun.” A man dressed in golden robes enters the room, bowing his head with respect. He wears a solemn expression and seems rather disturbed and inconvenienced. “Excuse me for the intrusion, but I believe we should talk.”  
The two Gusu Lan disciples bow and leave the room without another word.  
“Please forgive my lack of manners, but yes, I was the one to order that. I have been informed you tried to hide someone who witnessed the scene of the massacre.”  
So the Qishan Wen person wasn’t kidding when he promised he’d destroy them all. Lan Xichen was lucid enough to understand the situation. Even if grief clouded his mind moments ago, he felt sorry for his rudeness and knew the outcome of the situation had to be handled in some way.  
“Greetings, Lanling Jin sect leader. There is a misunderstanding.”  
“Oh? How can that be? My men witnessed Zewu-Jun trying to drag a child out of a temple.”  
“Even if I try to explain it to your Highness, I doubt you’d listen to me. You can impose whatever punishment you have decided and this cultivator will obey.”  
“!”  
“If you wish, I can resign from my position as a sect leader as well.”  
“No! This.. no. There is no way I would do that. Zewu-Jun, even though I am suspicious, I do not dare to disrespect the sect leader. Forgive this lowly disciple for not being courteous.” The youngster wanted to kowtow, but Lan Xichen quickly left his bed and caught his arms, yanking him up.  
“Don’t. I didn’t want to sound mad.”  
“You totally did not. I am just angry and sad. I know you wouldn’t obstruct the justice.” Jin Ling’s eyes stare at his shoes. He looks a but guilty about stirring up the spirits.  
But Lan Xichen got exactly what he wanted. Indeed he had the sweetest and most well-forged words. He could cure an illness with his speech. In this very moment he just tempered Jin Ling’s feistiness. But the pain seemed to give him a hard time. Jin Ling noticed and took him back to the bed.  
“Sect leader... how do you feel? Did you see who hurt you?”  
“Unfortunately not. I suppose it was the same person who attacked Jiang Wanyin.”  
“...”  
“Sect leader-“  
“No. I’m Jin Ling for you, uncle. Or A-Ling. However you want to call me.”  
Uncle... Lan Xichen’s eyes are teary and he feels like he can’t take it anymore.  
“... uncle?” He finally lets out a sob.  
“Yes, uncle. I know uncle Jiang loves you and I-I suppose he would like me to call you like that. And I like having a lot of uncles. It’s fun.”  
Jin Ling proceeds to hug Lan Xichen without asking any other questions and they both let out shaky breaths.   
“A-Ling... wouldn’t your uncle want you to be with him? Shouldn’t you stay at his side..?”  
“Uncle Lan... you know he would want me to stay with you... to... to...”  
“A-Ling, don’t worry. Your uncle will feel better in no time and he will come to see us! Then we will go eat in Yunmeng because I heard they cook really good lotus soups and-“  
“Zewu-Jun.... uncle Jiang.... he isn’t anymore.”  
“What are you saying, A-Ling? He isn’t in Lotus Pier? He probably is on his way to Cloud Recesses. I should get dressed up properly. I want to make a good impression and maybe I can apologize-“  
“Uncle.. please. Please don’t make it harder for yourself.”  
“By the way. Where is Wangji? And Wei Wuxian? Where are-“  
Two men dressed in white mourning clothes enter the room. Suddenly he noticed Jin Ling also wears white mourning clothes and when he looks in the mirror, he, too wears such robes. He shakes his head in disbelief and advances towards the mirror. Something is amiss. Something doesn’t fit the moment. He must find that something. He looks around and the other people are looking at him pitifully. No, he-  
Right. That was it.   
“Jin Ling.... why did you forget to apply the vermillion mark on your forehead?”  
“Hmph. I thought you’d never notice. You’re so sharp, Zewu-Jun.”  
“Why don’t you show your real face?”  
“If I did that... you would tell everyone around you and so news would get to Lotus Pier.” Naturally, ‘Wei Wuxian’ and ‘Lan Wangji’ disappeared into thin air. “You’re fun to toy with. But but also way too intelligent for your own good. Your crew annihilated the whole Wen clan and then boom, the cultivation world became happy. But you had to deal with that dog Jin Guangyao and he stirred up the atmosphere a bit and I was getting hopeful. But he failed. He didn’t see the problems that were right under his nose. That bitch Wei Wuxian is much more perceptive than I thought. Anyways... you do have a beautiful face. What if I turn into hmm....”  
The appearance of the fake Jin Ling changed into the one of Jin Guangyao. Lan Xichen froze in place. It seemed way too real.  
“This is the one you like, right? He has good looks and is quirky. I can see it. He’s talkative and smart. If I were you, I would have screwed him, too. Those slim legs being around my waist, me pounding into him until he screamed with that smooth voice of his? Worth it. You’re brighter than I thought. What if.... Jin Guangyao wants to fuck you again? Or you fuck him, whatever fits you. I know he got dispelled while you were in Carp Tower. But I can bring him back. All you have to do is take me to the Jiang whores so I can wipe them all out. That’s it. A small trade I’d say. A life for a life. You know, the Jiang Wanyin bastard has no intention to die. I just want his and Wei Wuxian’s heads to lie in a pool of blood. I will leave you and your brother alone if you help me. You just have to go to Lotus Pier, open the barrier and then let me come in. Hmm?”  
The fake Jin Guangyao started petting Lan Xichen’s head just like the real one did. He pushed Zewu-Jun on the bed. He then sat on Lan Xichen’s lap and began kissing him deeply, groping his ass and moaning as loud as he could. Lan Xichen had to tell himself continuously that it was all a dream. He felt like he was getting hard, but his limbs felt soft and he couldn’t move them at all. He didn’t have the strength to resist. ‘Jin Guangyao’ put a leg between the other man’s legs and started rubbing between them. His mouth attached to Lan Xichen’s neck and sucked hard and let his tongue run on its length.  
“You’re better than I expected. I wonder how it feels when you’re fucking me. Ah, what if we try just that right now? I know you can’t resist your Meng Yao.”  
But Jin Guangyao was no more and Lan Xichen knew that and he tried really hard to push the fake away, but he couldn’t move an inch. Frustration took him over and just wanted to cry. The only man he’d sleep with now is only Jiang Wanyin. He loves Sandu Shengshou with his whole body and soul and would never accept anyone else besides hin. Tears fall on his face. Lan Xichen closes his eyes, his morality being thrown in the mud and ripped into pieces. He had integrity, he is a dignified person, but the Qishan Wen dog managed to destroy everything he had. There were two things he valued the most: his family and his dignity. And he lost them both.  
He thought about Jiang Cheng and how his face was covered in blood, his eyes closed, a sad expression plastered on his face. There was probably disappointment, too because Lan Xichen failed to protect him. Yin Dahung was probably really disappointed as well. The arrow pierced him and he couldn’t do anything for the little boy. He just ended up in Cloud Recesses without any chance to escape this lowly demon who stepped on the last piece of his soul.   
Wait. Cloud Recesses?  
He woke up.... in Cloud Recesses... only hours later? There was some distance between Yunmeng and Gusu.. how could he... right.  
That was the other odd thing.

“Bitch. You even made me curse. People were right to call you Qishan Wen dogs. You’re nothing, but the anger of your past. Nothing defines you. You don’t have a personality. I’m taking you to Lotus Pier and you’re going to die.”  
“What?!”  
Lan Xichen recalled that you can control the dreams you’re conscious of. He took a magic pouch from his back and sealed the fake Jin Guangyao inside of it.  
The imposter kept yelling from inside his prison, but there was nothing he could do. Wen Chao had wasted his time spent in this world.  
It was time to destroy the whole Qishan Wen clan and this time he will let Wei Wuxian do it properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! I am using this to say that I am anti racism, homophobia and gender inequality. I, myself, as a lgbt+ person support the BLM(black lives matter) movement. Everyone, please stay strong and do your best to protect the ones affected by any type of oppression.  
> This post was programmed as I avoided to post on the 31st of may. Thank you!


	19. Love You Until The End Of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old foe is the cause of the mess that was created, but who is going to suffer in the end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Trigger warnings! Strong language! Death of a major character is mentioned, violence, blood, gore. This might be the saddest chapter of the story so you can skip it if you don’t do well with strong emotional distress.

“Jiang Cheng... your brother is here.”

In the room there were only Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Sensing that the two brothers needed some space, the latter left.  
“Hah, Jiang Cheng. You said you would be strong. I didn’t think the time we’d talk would be... this one. You know, I’m a bitch sometimes and really don’t deserve much, but... how did you destroy the second golden core? It was enough that you damaged it that time. Zewu-Jun came and helped you, but you had to fuck it up again. I have no other golden core I can offer you, this Mo Xuanyu doesn’t have much to give, but... but if there is a possibility, I will rip whatever I find and I will give it to you. And this is a promise. Come back to your brother, don’t wander too much. I miss you. I promise I will visit you more often! I am an asshole okay! But I will change! We’ll party together just like we used to when we were young. Remember when we drank wine in Cloud Recesses? Haha, let’s do it again!”  
No reply.  
“Why don’t you want to talk to me? I didn’t do anything wrong this time! I-I just came late... I’m sorry.. I am a disappointment. I broke the promise I made to auntie, too. I couldn’t protect you. Wei Wuxian is truly the worst person ever.”  
A black mist seeps through the door and makes way towards him. But Lan Wangji is faster and quickly drags his husband out of the incoming trance.  
“WEI YING! You promised me!”  
“And what am I supposed to do, Lan Zhan?! Do I have to watch him wither by my side? Do I have to watch him give his last breath?! Where even is your brother?!He was hurt beause of these assholes and then was dragged who knows where? Did your team find him???”  
“...”  
“Of course not. We don’t even know what those things are!”  
“Wei Ying, I won’t let you walk that path again. I swore and I will do everything I can in order to stop you! I can’t lose you again.”  
“But can you lose your brother? Can I lose mine?”  
“Wei Ying! Even if this did happen, there is nothing we can do now! We would destroy ourselves. Wei Ying... please... I love you..”  
A tear fell on Lan Wangji’s cheek and Wei Wuxian froze. 

A small water particle on a beauty’s cheek was more precious than any treasure in the world. Stern people like Lan Wangji are seen as heartless, devoid of emotion, persons that have too much of a serious attitude.   
‘They should learn how to have fun’, Wei Wuxian would have said. But not in his husband’s case. He has seen him cry in various situations, but he had to admit he never witnessed a Hanguang-Jun that looked so weak and tired. The current Lan Wangji looked as he was about to collapse and beg for mercy. This triggered some sort of sorrow inside Wei Wuxian and he once again wondered what his husband must have felt all those years he waited for him. Just how much grief he suffered that he was so unwilling to let go?  
Lan Wangji’s golden eyes stared at the ground, holding the sob in his throat. He felt truly desperate and even though he loved his brother immensely, he couldn’t lose one more person because of greed, the greed to have everyone around him safe and sound. He clenched his fists and tried to sigh instead, but a pitiful sound escaped from between his lips. He couldn’t show weakness in front of the man that doted on him and turned around, trying to walk away. Fortunately, Wei Wuxian caught his hand and dragged him back, enveloping his body in a tight embrace from behind. They didn’t speak for a while and just let out long sighs.  
“Lan Zhan.”  
“Mn.”  
“You spoke so many words. It’s unlike you to be so talkative.”  
“...”  
“Ayioh! You went quiet again!” He spinned the other man around so Lan Wangji would face him. “I won’t do that, okay? I promise. I don’t want to see you cry again. I love you a lot, Hanguang-Jun.” Caressing the other’s face, Wei Wuxian felt an unexpected great amount of happiness, showing off his characteristic brilliant smile. “My Lan Zhan, don’t be sad. I won’t leave you. I’m here, okay? I’m here, I won’t go away.”  
“Wei Ying..”  
A pang of pain sent a shiver down Wei Wuxian’s spine. He wondered just how much did that man love him.

Lan Xichen had trouble locating his current whereabouts. His spiritual power depleted when he fought that fierce ghost and so he couldn’t send signals into the sky, nor he had burning paper. Finding an exit he realized something.  
‘This is Yunmeng! Thanks heavens. I can get to Lotus Pier sooner that I expected.’  
He makes his way through the emptied streets and the imposing entrance makes him feel relieved. He walks until he gets to Jiang Cheng’s personal bedchamber. He holds the soul-trapping pouch in his hand and barges in without knocking first.  
His bloodied feet hurt as he didn’t have any shoes on and his clothes are disheveled, giving him the appearance of a madman. His forehead ribbon is slanted, his eyes are wild, the scars on his hands can be clearly seen and he has blood over his stomach. The wound didn’t properly close.  
“I have the Qishan Wen dog in here.”  
“!!!”  
And so his knees gave out and he fell on his knees. Both men that were lying next to the sect leader’s bed jumped to his side and supported him.  
“Brother! Are you alright?!”  
“Y-yes... I found a ghost.”  
“Ghost?”  
“Yes, it’s a long story. Even if we wanted to get them. We can’t. Besides... that was their final act. I managed to get their leader. Here.”  
He hands Lan Wangji the pouch and threw up blood. The wound creates him some trouble and a burning sensation rises in his chest.   
“Brother!!!! What happened?!”  
“No time to explain... take... me to... ah.. to sect leader...” 

“After how much I have waited... you only come here in a hurry and don’t want to tell me anything. Brother, promise me something!”   
“Wangji...” 

“PROMISE ME!”   
“I will do my best to fulfill your wish.”   
“Don’t die.” Lan Xichen’s tears began falling and he smiled sadly. His pain was immense and his golden core was almost broken. He has no chance to survived, but he replied: 

“...anything for my little brother.”

The healthy persons take this wounded soldier to the deathbed of his lover.  
Alright so this sounds like a very tragic end to a story similar to Romeo and Juliette. But you have my word, these two dumbasses are way too stubborn to die now. Even if someone snapped their fingers and ordered them to die, they would refuse and fight it. Their end is not even close.

Lan Xichen watches the sleeping face of Jiang Wanyin and smiles sadly.  
“I should have been faster, A-Cheng.”  
Both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are conflicted, but they leave the room, giving them some privacy for the sake of their last moments.  
“I trapped the ghost so it wouldn’t kill others. Aren’t you happy, A-Cheng? I erased the evil, like we promised to do together. I did it! But the child... wait.. where’s the child?! Dahung?!”  
Lan Xichen wants to get on his feet, but they are too damaged to work for anything.  
A kid emerges from the shadows and hugs Lan Xichen with his small body, shaking with fear.  
“Gege, tell me the bad man isn’t coming back.”  
“A-Hung, don’t worry. He is gone, forever gone.”  
“Okay. But is angry gege going to wake up?”  
“...”  
“He isn’t????”  
“I don’t know, Dahung.”  
“You look awful, too. Are you going to sleep like gege?”  
“Maybe.” Lan Xichen smiles and ruffles Yin Dahung’s hair.   
“Gege... you will leave me alone.”  
“No, don’t worry. There are two men outside that are great at rising children. They will love you a lot and you will have awesome friends in Cloud Recesses.”  
“What is Cloud something?”  
“It’s a place with many waterfalls and cute little bunnies.”  
“I like animals!!! Especially master Jin Rulan’s dog.”  
“How do you...”  
No. Something wasn’t right.

“You thought you’d get rid of us so fast?”  
In a matter of seconds, the child was no more and a grown up man made his appearance in front of Lan Xichen.  
Wen Xu with a ghostly white face and a blank expression.  
But he was supposed to be dead. Dead like all of them.  
A fierce corpse. Just like Wen Ning.  
This is exactly why Wei Wuxian didn’t mention the child. That’s why the child avoided them, Wei Wuxian would have sensed there was something rather odd about him.  
But a fierce corpse with a really high cultivation level. Wen Xu grabbed Lan Xichen’s collar and threw him aside.  
“My brother was weak and couldn’t finish off Jiang Wanyin. And I tried more than once to take you down so I would break this idiot into small parts. There was always someone who came and took the sect leader so I had to send Wen Chao to finish you off to ensure you wouldn’t get in our way again. But, of course, he failed to do so, like the fucking stupid shit he is!”  
Lan Xichen threw up a mouthful of blood and pretended to mend for the hole in his stomach. He wrote a small talisman with the blood from his mouth and sent it out with the direction ‘Wei Wuxian’.  
The problem of the Qishan Wen clan wasn’t the lack of power because they had a lot, a good example being this Wen Xu corpse. Lan Xichen’s vision was blurring gradually, but noticing the man on the ground wasn’t listening to his rant, Wen Xu grabbed the collar of the sufferer and threw him to the ground, again, a cracking sound being heard from Lan Xichen’s back. Throwing up for one more time, he cursed the man talking and interrupted him:  
“You, Qishan Wen will never win in front of the rest of the cultivation world.”  
“Hahaha, you really think so highly of yourself, trash.”  
A bloodied smile appeared on Lan Xichen’s face.  
“It’s not me who you have to fear. It’s the Yiling Laozu.”  
“What?”  
An eerie flute song began playing outside.  
A stunningly beautiful woman dressed in a silky red dress materialized in the middle of the room. She smirked at Lan Xichen and then charged, grabbing Wen Xu’s neck without hesitation. Wei Wuxian broke down the doors with a kick and entered the room with a rather dubious expression plastered on his face:  
he looked like was about to kill a thousand people without hesitation. A black smoke surrounded him, Lan Wangji closely following behind with the zither ready to interfere in case things went wrong. Chenqing shined proudly in the delicate hands of the Yiling Laozu, him being dressed in killing intent.  
The woman in red turned her head to look at her master and Wei Wuxian only smiled. She moved her attention back to her prey and she inserted her hand into Wen Xu’s stomach. He threw up black blood, but didn’t dare to ask for mercy. Instead, he gritted his teeth and spat more blood at the feet of the woman sneering:  
“Fuck the Gusu Lan and the Yunmeng Jiang! They dared to raise a demon like you! Not even my father was as vicious as you are and your eyes right now can tell how much of a threat you actually are to the whole world! I hope you will die in Hell!”  
“Wen Xu. Do you think your curses affect me in any way?”  
“Hmph. I didn’t even expect that. I just wanted you to know how much of a dog you are.”  
“Good. Then don’t waste your breath. You’ll need it when miss Lingmei strangles you.”  
Wei Wuxian only waves his hand and the demon he summoned leaves carrying Wen Xu behind her like a ragdoll. Outside the room only a sound like a knife piercing flesh could be heard and everything went still. Lan Wangji left the chamber for a short while to dispell the spirit and came back soon after that.  
“You did well, Wei Ying” Hanguang-Jun said.  
“Of course! Am I not the Yiling Patriarch?”  
“Mn.”   
But the use of demonic cultivation took its toll on his body and Wei Wuxian collapsed with a trace of blood seeping from his nose.  
Lan Xichen felt quite useless in that moment, he couldn’t even summon his zither to heal either Jiang Wanyin or Wei Wuxian and he watched the scene in front of him. He crawled towards the bed, his wound and feet still bleeding.   
“Brother. I have to take care of Wei Ying.”  
“Wangji, do not worry about me. I will be fine. I am with A-Cheng. Wei-gongze took care of them all. We have nothing to fear now. Yin Dahung is gone.”  
“Unfortunately. I am so sorry for your loss.”  
“It was all a lie anyways.”  
“Better days will come.”  
“I hope so.”  
The lie of them taking care of their own child. The lie of them happily cultivating together. The lie of them unifying the two sects and finally creating a peaceful cultivational world. Huh. All of them were lies that Lan Wangji didn’t know about.  
A lie. That bastard lurked and waited for the perfect moment to get both sect leaders down in hope of getting revenge. And he got the revenge he wanted, but did so many people have to suffer? Jiang Wanyin only managed to save a few people out of the crowd of cultivators he swore to protect and he also lost his life in the process of doing so. Why is it always that good people have to die so things take their normal course again? Why does it always have to hurt? But Lan Xichen was overjoyed that he managed to reunite with the love of his life.  
Lan Wangji left, taking Wei Wuxian with him. Lan Wangji didn’t have the powers to heal two persons and he had no idea which wound was worse. Lan Xichen didn’t even give him time to think about it. ‘Just go, brother. Become a sect leader, even better than the one I tried to be and help our disciples become great persons’, he thought. Unfortunately those words didn’t come out, he was hardly breathing.  
What Lan Wangji didn’t know was that he had the wound of the arrow still not healed and profusely hurting. A livid white face with lips devoid of blood, struggled to get on the level of Jiang Wanyin’s face, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Lan Xichen then rested against the wooden bed and closed his eyes. He promised to be at Jiang Wanyin’s side for the rest of his life, but since both of them were ar the end of the line, it could be said that they kept their promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Happy pride month everyone! I posted late due to the events that happened recently, in a sign of respect for all the people fighting for their rights. Our lgbt+ community also faced a lot of hardships in the past and still does and I can encourage everyone to stay strong and you should definitely ask for help whenever you need it! Thank you for reading!


	20. Wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin Rulan couldn’t get over his uncle’s death, but fortunately there is someone to shake him back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am sorry for making you all wait for so long! Trigger warnings: implied depression and the change in Jin Ling’s attitude might be disturbing for some people. Blood!! Gore! A lot of swearing!! Please remember this when you read.

Jin Rulan woke up on the floor with a massive headache. The whole place was quiet and the horrendous pain was only intensified by this stillness. He looked around and there was still no servant at his side to tend to his needs. He raised a brow, but didn’t ask for help. Not yet. He grew a rather stubborn personality. When he looked at the pool of blood at his feet he realized it’s the same dream again. Again and again.

More likely it’s not a dream, but a memory. A memory he wishes he’d forget.  
He sighes and looks for his uncle’s body. He remembers every single detail, so he isn’t crying anymore. His tears long dried up. Yet he can’t stop himself from approaching the scene. His uncle is on his bed. He gets up from the wooden floor and inspects the body only to find a massive hole in his chest. It matches the one on the body next to Jiang Wanyin; it matches Lan Xichen’s wound in the abdomen. They sit side by side, devoid of expression, eyes closed. They are holding hands. Jin Rulan can’t stand it. He lets the tears fall on his cheeks and cries out loud. He is shaken awake by two gentle hands.  
Lan Sizhui.  
Jin Rulan didn’t have the heart to propose to Lan Sizhui anymore after the death of his uncles. He barely remembered who Lan Sizhui was. But the disciple stayed. He didn’t ask for anything. Days after Jin Rulan decided he was done mourning Jiang Wanyin, he went back to Lanling.

One day, a servant knocked on Jin Rulan’s door, announcing that ‘a gentle-looking boy who identifies himself as disciple Lan Sizhui came with a small bag in his hand and he wants to talk to your Majesty’. Jin Rulan said he could handle the situation. The servant left silently.  
“You still call yourself a disciple”, Jin Rulan said when he greeted Lan Sizhui.  
“I am nothing, but a mere disciple in front of you, Master.”  
“What kind of master am I that I couldn’t even protect the ones I love?”  
Lan Sizhui stares at the marble floor. But he did protect someone... he protected him. Lan Sizhui used to think of himself as someone close to the sect leader, but it seems like he had a way too positive view of the things. He really is just a servant and Jin Rulan is the master. But he doesn’t mind it. That’s why he is here: he’s here to serve and protect, something he considers he has failed accomplishing in the past.   
Jin Rulan failed to notice the true appearance of the man in front of him; he actually looked more like a boy, a really tired and sad boy who got lost in a town and he is currently searching for his mother. Dried tears on his cheeks, dark circles under his eyes that nobody could notice anymore.  
“I am still- well. Nevermind. I came here because you said I could.”  
“Did I? Ah, yeah, I really did. But aren’t you scared I won’t be able to protect you and you’ll die?”  
“No. I am not afraid of death. As long as I can help you in any way, I am the happiest man alive.”  
“You’re too idealistic, A-Yuan.”  
Lan Sizhui vaguely remembers how he was picked up by Lan Wangji and brought to Cloud Recesses where he was rejected by the old man. At that time he still thought he would be able to stay. He trusted Hanguang-Jun. He doesn’t think he’s idealistic. He thinks he is hopeful.  
“I don’t think so, master.”  
“Quit the master shit. We’re equal in powers and I’d even say in rank. Come, let’s find you a room.”

“A-Ling. Wake up. It was just a nightmare.”  
“It’s not just a nightmare. And you know it.”  
“You shouldn’t dwell on the past.”  
Lan Sizhui looks at Jin Rulan, more likely admires him and smiles tiredly. He thinks the sect leader is the most powerful man he knows for not going crazy after having the same dream every single night. Gathering up courage, he kisses the younger’s forehead and blushes instantly.  
It affects Jin Rulan, too. He stares at Lan Sizhui in disbelief. His hands grab the other’s and he ponders over what he should do next. Does he kiss back? Does he push him away? Does he yell? How is he supposed to act? They had lovely moments in the past, but Jin Rulan forgot them all and has no idea what to do. He feels like the stranger in front of him is offering too much love. He just wants to reply properly to the gesture because his heart is cold anyways. He feels like he didn’t treat him properly and felt like something, maybe like a couple of memories were missing. Strange.  
Lan Sizhui knows and he sighs.   
“A-Ling. Come. Let’s go eat.” This diverts the sect leader’s attention.  
“No. I wanna eat in here.”  
“You’re gonna make a mess.”  
“Not if you watch over me.”  
“You’re acting like a child again.” Lan Sizhui knows it’s the way the younger copes with things so he doesn’t scold him too much. He got used to the child-like behavior and all the things Jin Rulan started using as a defense against the horrible memories haunting him. Lan Sizhui knows and doesn’t get mad.  
Jin Rulan remembers how he used to be sad and cry after a random child laughed at him because he didn’t have parents.

Jiang Wanyin would come forwards and ask him with a serious face:  
“Then what am I for you?”  
“Shufu... I’m so sad, they hate me.”  
“They don’t. They’re just jealous I’m such an amazing uncle.”  
“Uncle... please hug me tightly.”  
“Come here and stop crying or I’ll bring Zidian out!”  
“Please don’t...”  
“Haha, silly boy, do you really think I would? Uncle loves you.”

“Feed me, A-Yuan.”  
“A-Ling~”  
“Please.”  
Jin Rulan knows he’s too unreasonable and demanding, but he has no energy left to act like a proper sect leader. Was that what he was though?  
Lan Sizhui smiles reassuringly and complies. Between spoonfulls of the lotus soup, he pats Jin Rulan’s head gingerly. The younger man smiles and stares into the other’s eyes. This moment is the most intimate they have experienced after the big incident.   
The plates are taken by servants and Lan Sizhui gets up and decides it’s time to leave. Jin Rulan catches his hand right in time.  
“Don’t go.”  
“A-Ling, I have a few things to do.”  
“Don’t leave me.”  
“A-Ling, don’t be like this.”  
“No, you’ll leave me, too and I will be all alone.”  
Lan Sizhui sighs and sits next to the sect leader. He could make use of a break, actually.  
“I would never leave you alone, A-Ling. Wasn’t I the one who came to you?”  
“...”  
“Rest. You have to meet the elders later today. I’ll come to help you get ready later.”  
“I need you now.”  
“?”  
“Maybe it’s my pain or my loneliness or whatever, but I need you now.” The sentence left Lan Sizhui conflicted.  
“A-Ling.”  
“Lan Sizhui. Do you want to kiss?”  
“!!!”  
“You’re so cute when your face is red.”  
“A-Ling...” The sect leader literally made no sense, but in the same time the shamelessness set fire to the branches that were long forgotten.  
“I want you to reply to my question. I won’t do anything without your consent.”  
Lan Sizhui is VERY conflicted. Should he refuse politely and leave the room or should he give in to his burning passion and just let himself go? The Gusu Lan clan says you should refrain yourself from such a behavior, but ... there were exceptions.  
Have his uncles obeyed the rules when in love? Lan Xichen stayed with Jiang Wanyin until his last breath and Lan Wangji stayed with Wei Wuxian even when nobody trusted him, them both giving their all in the name of love.  
If he said he didn’t love Jin Rulan... there might have been some truth if we spoke about the younger Lan Sizhui. But if you were to change the tense to present, the same statement would waver. He felt like there was something special about the way his heart kept Jin Rulan in it, but he couldn’t understand it. He likes Jin Rulan, he likes Jin Ling, he likes this sect leader. But he is just Lan Sizhui, Lan Yuan, a simple disciple from the Gusu Lan clan. A nobody. He doesn’t even dare to have improper thoughts about the angel in front of him. An angel that suffered so much. He lost his parents and then his uncle. But never got them back. Lan Sizhui never lacked love or attention. At first there were the Wens and then Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Their pain wasn’t comparable.   
Fuck it. It’s exactly because he is just a disciple that it doesn’t matter. But what about Jin Rulan’s honour and reputation?  
“Are you okay with it, though? What if people judge you?”  
“Do I care?”  
Right. He forgot about those past moments they experienced together, it was like their relationship was new. Having no consideration about the elders was unlike a person like Jin Rulan, but there was a time when he stood up for both of them. All they had to experience now was all unknown, but Lan Sizhui had no intention to ruin it.  
“You’ll forget about me after this”, Lan Sizhui said.  
“I won’t.”  
“You forgot some other things. I can’t be sure.”  
“I promise.”  
“Can you bet on your capacity to remember?”  
“...”  
“You- nevermind. Do you really want it?”  
“Yes.” No hesitation, only passion running through the Lanling Jin sect leader. “Do you?”  
“Yes.” No hesitation on the other part either. They grew up attached to each other. The lack of the support for all these days that passed took its toll on both young men.   
Lan Sizhui stands in front of the sect leader in white mourning clothes. The latter has no idea if it was only the attire or the fact that he lost an important person for him. The hair crown is absent (probably long forgotten somewhere) and the hairband was tied in a rather disheartening way.   
On the other side, Jin Rulan had his sleeping attire still on, with only his underclothes on. Yet the atmosphere was too hot and he felt like needed some fresh air. Looking at the gorgeous boy in front of him, he knew exactly how he could breathe. His clothes are also white, but he has been wearing a lot of white after the tragic event. Nobody dared to pick on him or even gossip behind his back because it’s well known Jin Rulan’s cultivational level even surpassed the one of some previous sect leaders.  
Maybe sometimes it’s fine to be reckless. Jin Rulan sits on the bed and drags the older one with him. None of them take the initiative, they stare at each other in disbelief and maybe a little riled up by their exchange. When the sect leader tilts his head sideways, with a dumb puppy expression stuck on his face, it’s when the Lan disciple loses his control. We can guess he got it from his father. He dives in the crook of Jin Rulan’s neck, kissing fervently (really unlike whatever Lan Sizhui claims to stand for). And the other enjoys it a lot, a high-pitched moan escaping his throat. Ah, this Lanling Jin sect... well, they are all a little crazy.  
With the taller on his lap, Jin Rulan felt like he was going to ascend and honestly no further cultivation was needed. Blissed out, he barely registered when Lan Sizhui attacked his lips and encircled his legs around him. They were so close, no space left between the slim bodies, breath mixing with lust. Though good moments don’t last too much, this really was short-lived for the two of them. Jin Rulan remembered. Like a powerful flick on his head, a short and thundering pain hit his brain (if that was even possible) and lots of memories flooded back into his head. A revelation struck him hard and he swore he was about to throw up blood. It happened in less than a second and it left just as fast, going almost unnoticed.  
He pushed the other boy off his lap and Lan Sizhui fell on the floor with a thud. It was only because Jin Rulan was surprised that he threw the other one on the ground. Big, innocent eyes stared either blankly in the distance or at the carpeted wooden floor. Nothing, but nothing made sense.  
Lan Sizhui blinks a few times in disbelief, but doesn’t leave his place. He just sits there on the ground. And stares with an idle expression. He is constantly asking himself what happened, but doesn’t dare to speak. Both his embarrassment and the fear that he offended the young sect leader are pressing on his shoulders. He assumes he went a little too far and wonders if he left any marks on the ghostly white skin of the pretty angel. The other cultivator is dumbstruck and equally ashamed. How could he touch an deity in such a way? How did he dare to do that? What the fuck was wrong with him? Lan Sizhui was an unattainable thing since he didn’t deserve the honor to be touched so carefully. Maybe a Zidian down his back would solve the problem.  
Uncle Jiang Cheng raised no whiny bitch, but a bad bitch and not an asshole, but someone who respects the others. The old man might be dead, but there is no way he’d step over the moral values he was taught.

Meanwhile...

‘I think that was a bit harsh.’  
‘Fuck off. The little asshole was going to be so disrespectful! The Gusu Lan kid accepted it because he loves that idiot.’  
‘I think we should go through the rules again...’  
‘Oh spare me with that shit!’  
‘You can’t just interfere with their lives like that! And your language is a bit too much.’  
‘I didn’t want to come here, you brought me. I will do whatever I want. I couldn’t let the kid maintain that state of mind because he looked and acted like a little shit. I doubt it was possession so I just knocked some sense into him. Might be what they call <<shock>>. Loads of idiotic expressions.  
‘... I’ll call for the governor again.’  
‘Fuck off. I’m going there myself this time.’  
‘...’

Going back to our world.

“Lan Sizhui!”  
The one being called instantly jumped on his feet, scared that he messed up in some way.  
“Yes, your Majesty! Forgive my behavior! I shouldn’t have-“  
“I’m sorry.”  
“For-for what?” The change in attitude was so abrupt! No way!  
“For being so forgetful. I remember. I remember it all, A-Yuan! I’m so sorry! Please, forgive me! Please don’t be mad.” That’s what confusing meant for Lan Sizhui. He wanted to make sure someone wrote a definition for that word and that they would explain this exact situation.  
“I am not, Jin Ling. I couldn’t be angry with you.”  
“I wouldn’t even dare to be inconsiderate towards you. I was rude, but please do note that I like you a lot!”  
A soft smile spread on Lan Sizhui’s face.   
“A-Ling, I like you, too. I can’t say that was rude as long as I enjoyed it.”  
“Oh... you.. you did...?”  
“For sure.”  
“Oh... th-then. I guess... well...”  
Lan Sizhui placed a gentle kiss on Jin Rulan’s lips. He continued to smile afterwards and caressed the other’s face. Jin Rulan’s crystal clear tears were falling gracefully on his pretty face, creating a seraphic sight.  
“I remembered when we said we’d stay together at the Carp Tower. I don’t intend to go back on my promise of offering you the best conditions. I’ll update your room and all. Don’t worry. I’ll be the best host ever-“  
“You already are the best, A-Ling.”  
“... I-I don’t know what was possessing me. I was acting strangely and I didn’t seem to recall old events.” Jin Rulan was, too, way too confused.  
“That’s fine. It was the shock talking.” Mischief was Lan Sizhui’s next target though. “But there’s one thing... I hope you won’t change your mind about it...”  
“About what?”  
“I hope you still want to kiss me.”  
“I-I do!!! Of course!!!”  
“Good. Then let’s leave the problems aside for a while. You already missed breakfast anyways.”  
“O-oh. Okay.. I will- ah!”  
Lan Sizhui threw the younger on his back and tickled him while also pressing soft pecks on his face. Lanling Jin sect leader became a happier man as he was offered a chance, one more time, by this Gusu Lan humble cultivator.

Huh. I hope I will get invited to the wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might post slower for the next few weeks because I am taking my exams, but soon I’ll post faster, please be patient with me! Thank you for reading!


	21. Wei Wuxian Slips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was it a hint of demonic energy? Was it only grief and depression? Wei Wuxian basically lashes out on his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings! Violence, hint of blood, swearing, dubcon, sexual content. Hello! Thank you for waiting for me! I am almost done with my exams and starting with the next week, I will upload more often. As you can see the things are starting to get clearer!

Wei Wuxian was at the tenth... no... twelfth? Nono... twentieth?

“Wei Ying... you should stop drinking.”  
“Aaa, Lan Zhan, my Lan Zhan do you think I’m weak? This Emperor’s Smile is so good that it helps me forget how much of an idiot I AM! Hahahaha LAN ZHAN, YOUR HUSBAND IS A FAILURE.”  
“Wei Ying, you’re not alone in this. I... I haven’t done much to protect my brother either.”  
“Then drink with me! Let’s forget about ourselves.”  
“Wei Ying.”  
“Aaah Lan Zhan. Remember when you tried to stop me from becoming a madman? You kind of failed that time. Hah.”  
It doesn’t have the desired effect on Lan Wangji. The older cultivator lets his head down and tears fall down his cheeks.   
“You’re right. You died because of me. And now... my brother died too.”  
Wei Wuxian didn’t mean those words, of course he had no intention of hurting Lan Wangji. The alcohol in his system didn’t let him think clearly and instead he threw some other venomous words. What Lan Wangji didn’t notice was that the black smoke was seeping through the door.  
“You, Hanguang-Jun! You defied your sect for me! A rogue and a cut-sleeve. I wonder what they asked you. Did they ask if you really fucked me? You have those awful scars and really.....”  
Lan Wangji wasn’t listening though. He was reliving the disastrous moments the persons he loved the most died and a buzzing sound in his head was preventing him from being attentive to the surroundings. Since he was convinced Wei Wuxian wouldn’t remember all of these the next day, he allowed a desolating sob escape his throat.   
“I really love you, but sometimes you are so questionable. I just wish you would stop trying to save everyone. It isn’t your duty to save us. There was a part of me who wanted to die. And Zewu-Jun... he sacrificed his love in order to have the same fate with Jiang Cheng. Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan.”  
Lan Wangji was silently shedding tears, having shut down the outside world completely.  
Nobody really wonders what Hanguang-Jun goes through as he seems a rather reserved and serious person, resolute and enduring.

But honestly? Sometimes even Lan Wangji needs a pat on the shoulder, even he needs someone to tell him it’s going to be okay. But Wei Wuxian was right, he considered his words. He thought he was a disappointment, he hurt everyone he tried to protect. What a joke of a man. He doesn’t even deserve the current position of sect leader that he has. Maybe he should quit whatsoever and-

Wei Wuxian received a flick on his forehead. Since there was nobody around, he blamed it on the demonic shit and panicked a little. Hell, did he get too close to the edge again? He drank too much and it’s the fucking last time. He even hurt his (I’m cringing so hard at this point, these two are very disgusting) bunny.  
*... I swear those are literally his thoughts*  
“Lan Wangji!” Wei Wuxian’s commanding voice reverberates in his mind. The younger man pulls the older one closer and forces him to look directly into his eyes.  
The black smoke was gone.  
“I have hurt you.”  
“You could never, Wei Ying.”  
“No, Lan Zhan. Even I make mistakes. Tons of them and this is one of them. I’m sorry. I have hurt you way too many times.” Was it still the alcohol talking?   
“Wei Ying is a good person..”  
“Even good persons make mistakes, but in no way I am a good person. If I were like that, I wouldn’t have let the demonic path tempt me again. Lan Zhan...”   
Wei Wuxian tries to close the distance between them and meets little to no resistance from Lan Wangji. He presses a kiss on the other’s lips, enjoying the touch, hungrily mapping the inside of the older’s mouth with his tongue.  
“Sing to me, Lan Zhan.”  
Lan Wangji obliges. A short part of Clarity helps the younger clear his mind from all the dark temptations from the absolute power. Right after that, Lan Wangji played a special piece that meant so much for both of them.  
“How did you say this was called?”  
Wei Wuxian settled in Lan Wangji’s arms, humming to the beautiful song.  
“Wangxian.”  
“Hmm such a pretty name, Lan-er gege.” Wei Wuxian’s mind cleared a bit too fast. 

Right. It’s that person again.  
‘I told you to stop interfering in their lives! Now the chief is gonna punish me, too! You’re so annoying sometimes!’  
‘Shut the fuck up. It’s my business.’  
‘Language-‘  
The latter one received a stone in the head.  
‘Ow, that hurt!’  
‘I told you to shut up. Now dispel this, I don’t want to see how gross they are.’

  
Wei Wuxian licks his lips and feels like his body grew hotter by a few degrees if that’s possible. His palms are sweaty and he feels nervous. He bites the insides of his cheeks until it hurts and drifts his eyes from the beautiful sight Lan Wangji is. Fuck. No, not now, come on they were having a moment!  
But his breath is labored and it’s unconceivable that his husband doesn’t notice his ardent need. Wei Wuxian feels shame, after so much time. He shuffles uncomfortably and leaves Lan Wangji’s warm embrace. He makes the mistake of looking into the other’s eyes and the next moment he knows he can’t stop.  
He pushes Hanguang-Jun on his back and hastily undresses them both with a speed that surprises. No questions asked, it’s rather like a mutual and silent agreement. When he’s finally bare, Wei Wuxian feels like he’s free and he doesn’t feel so hot anymore. But the need grows and his lust hinders him from refraining his inner desire. He moans, Lan Wangji is big just like he expected and that’s even more exciting for him. His own cock is flushed and dripping, like expecting the immense pleasure he is going to feel. Lan Wangji’s hair is surrounding him like a dark pool. It’s so properly combed that you can’t resist sticking your fingers in it, just to feel the silky threads sliding through.  
Sitting on his knees, straddling the older’s legs, Wei Wuxian feels like he conquered the world. He wants to give Lan Wangji the best time ever, but in the same time he feels like he can’t hold it anymore and the pleasure of being filled up cannot be delayed. He looks again at his beloved with an expression full of passion and Lan Wangji seems like he slightly nods. Waiting for no more validation, Wei Wuxian inserts his lover’s dick in his hole, moaning loudly during the process. Good that it’s too late for anyone to hear. He slides up and down until he eventually grows tired and lazily rubs his hips in circles. The friction is unbearable, it’s asking for more pleasure, more excitement, but with this rate, Wei Wuxian’s heart is going to burst. Why does one of the Twin Jades have so much stamina?!  
“Aaah, Lan-er gege, I almost forgot how good you are. Isn’t this great? You fucking me all the time, I always feel like I could ascend in the next second! I wonder how do you manage to go on for an entire night without getting bored!”  
“Mn.”  
“Do you like fucking me, Hanguang-Jun?”  
“...”  
“Do you like when I moan into your ear while you pound into me? Break me in two, Lan Zhan! Let’s see how great this sect leader is!”  
“Shameless.” But Lan Wangji obliges. He pounds into his husband like a hungry wolf, probably getting back at all the things he had to endure during these few hours. Wei Wuxian fell on his stomach on his husband, too tired to even complain about feeling too hot.  
Lan Wangji looks truly admirable and elegant even when he fucks his husband. His impression is almost unchanged as he tries his best to pleasure the man above.   
And who wouldn’t like Hanguang-Jun?   
As the responsible brother that he is, he immediately became the sect leader and handled the situation well, taking good care of the affairs. Sometimes these official things get him tired, but Hanguang-Jun can’t complain as this is his duty to fulfill in order for his brother to rest in peace.  
And he’d lie if he said he didn’t try to bring his brother back. Through various and several methods he did his best to find his soul, but it seemed to have vanished into thin air. He even asked for the help of the notorious Chenqing who belonged to his husband. These days would make him desperate, angry to the point he’d end up with bloody fingers while playing the guqin. Then Wei Wuxian would collect him carefully and coax him into getting a bath and some rest. He eventual gave up, knowing it was probably the heaven’s will that his brother didn’t come back. 

“Ah, Lan Zhan! I.. I’m tired... can-can We switch positions..?”  
“Mn.”  
But Lan Wangji didn’t start pounding into the frail-looking man again right away. He stared at the body of the love of his life. It was weird, to say the least, to think that wasn’t the original Wei Wuxian, but he shrugged the thought quickly. He was his Wei Ying, no matter what. The shorter, frail-looking man was staring back with a giant, dorky smile plastered on his face. Even though the body was feeble and the skin ever so soft, Lan Wangji thought it was sexy as fuck. The curves complimenting the figure just perfectly, creating the image of the best man he ever met.  
He pressed kisses on the flushed skin, making the other’s heart fill with happiness and love. Wei Wuxian pulled Lan Wangji into a kiss and he didn’t waste the time to moan and wrapped his legs around the other’s torso. Lan Wangji had other plans so he pushed him on the bed, going down on Wei Wuxian.  
“Lan Zhan! What are you doing?!”  
“..”  
“Shameless! That’s shameless! Lan Zh-“  
Lan Wangji started sucking him skillfully, not missing anything he read in those forbidden books he once found under his husband’s bed. He was getting better and better and since they had so much time to spend together, Lan Wangji thought he had plenty of time to learn how to properly worship the younger’s body. Wei Wuxian’s back arched and he let out screams as some thin and long fingers entered him. Gripping the sheets under him, Wei Wuxian didn’t even have time to tell the other to back off and only tried to shove him gently. Lan wangji was stubborn and didn’t move an inch. Wei Wuxian just gulped down and he came quietly, his throat dry from the so many cries. Lan Wangji stood in place, stopping his ministrations and swallowed it all. Not only this shocked Wei Wuxian who thought he’d be angry from all the verbal abuse and all the not-so-fine things he did today, but it also warmed his chest and he started weeping.  
Naturally, Lan Wangji thought he did something wrong.  
“Wei Ying... Wei Ying! Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”  
“Haah, more than okay, Lan Zhan. You didn’t have to do that.”  
“I wanted to.”  
“I was the one who was an asshole. You really don’t have to act nicely to me or whenever, I am an idiot. It should be the other way.”  
“You have all the other nights to pay me back. I think this is enough for tonight.”  
“Sneaky little- huh. And here I thought you were nice.”  
“Wei Ying?”  
“Hmm?”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you, too. I’m sorry, I couldn’t go for too long tonight.”  
“I know. And I won’t push you. It’s.. hard for both of us.”  
“I wish I didn’t say those words... I-“  
“Was it the demonic energy again?”  
“... yes. I promised I wouldn’t let it affect me again, but I was really down and drunk... luckily.. you got me out of that state. And besides that... there was something rather weird.”  
“Tell me about it.”  
Lan Wangji was carefully caressing Wei Wuxian’s body, making little circles, noticing he didn’t leave any mark tonight. All for the best, he didn’t want to torture him today.  
“Well.. I felt like there was a voice in my head that kept telling me to stop being a ‘little piece of shit’ and that person or whatever it was tried to shake me to reality.”  
“Is it possible that you hallucinated?”  
“Probably. I also felt a flick on my forehead and that hurt a bit, to be honest. The person scolding me was protectively aggresive. I don’t know anyone like that.”  
Hanguang-Jun noticed there was a minuscule mark on his husband’s forehead and he stared in disbelief. Could those be ghosts? Was it the time for a purification? Combing his hair with his fingers, Lan Wangji thinks of an incantation and tries to search for any signs of possession. There’s only the faint trace of the demonic energy and nothing more than that.  
“Did you see anything, Lan Zhan?”  
“No. This is curious.”  
“I think we think too much.” Wei Wuxian sits up and puts both his arms around the older’s neck. With a sweet smile, ready to deceive, he speaks again. “Why don’t we do something that will clear our minds? And no, I’m not talking about playing music.”  
“?”  
A faint trace of the Yiling Laozu, showed off. He kisses his husband greedily as if he wanted to claim territory. It’s rather unusual to see Wei Wuxian this possessive and aggressive with his love, but his husband is aroused by the sudden change in attitude. Sneaking in his lap, the slim man wiggles his hips and attaches his mouth to the side of Lan Wangji’s neck, sucking and eventually leaving a mark.  
“It’s so beautiful, Hanguang-Jun! You’re really mine!”  
“Wei Ying. It’s enough.”  
“I’ll never have enough of you.”  
The road they were walking on was dangerous, as the younger could lose his mind in any minute. After the loss of his brother, Wei Wuxian had downfall and struggled with controlling the urge to follow the extreme path of the demonic cultivation.   
“Come on. Give it to me. I can take it one more time.”  
“Wei Ying. It’s enough.”  
“Why don’t you say the same all the other days? You’re acting strangely, my love. Is it that I am not satisfying anymore? Should I bring someone else to-“  
“WEI YING. I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH!”  
We rarely see Hanguang-Jun get angry, but on such rare occasions you had to run as fast as you can, because there is nothing scarier than the wrath of a quiet person. The Yiling Laozu backs off and dresses up instantly in a black robe , summoning Chenqing in his hand.  
“Two can fight, Lan Wangji.”  
“Wei Ying.”  
“Wei Ying is driven by lust and not what you call ‘innocent love’, that doesn’t even-“  
The man dressed in black feels a sharp pain in his arm and the mist covering his eyes lifts up. A spiritual knife leaves its mark on the enraged man. Lan Wangji doesn’t even move during this process. I actually wonder how powerful this cultivator is... Nevermind. He’d probably fight me if I found out.  
“You have let the darkness surround you again.”  
“I was thinking about-“  
“I know. I know there is a possibility, but we shall wait.”  
“I should listen to you more often, Zhan-ge.”  
“Mn.”  
“Hmph, not even trying to deny! So proud.”  
“Let’s go clean the wound.”  
“Right! You shouldn’t have been so fierce! Now I will sport a scar on my shoulder! I will be ugly. Are you proud, Lan-er gege? You made Wei Ying look ugly..”  
“Wei Ying is always beautiful. He is the most handsome man I have ever seen.”  
“Pah, you only know how to flatter me.”


	22. New Ally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liu QinXian is a friend and wants to help, eventually falling in love with someone he isn’t even supposed to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings! Mentions of death, memory loss, injuries, swearing.  
> Oh??? Did the tags change? Impressive, I’d say, I didn’t expect the change either, to be honest, but I hope everyone likes it. Seems like someone falls in love with the savior :o

A fierce looking man is dragged by the collar in a big hall. The enormous hall didn’t have your usual extravagant decorations, but it was rather... different. In a good way.

The floor was made of white marble, a few diamonds here and there carved into it just for the trend. In the four corners of this actually formless room were pillars, made of white marble as well, encrusted with battle scenes of what seemed to be angels. On a closer look they had the appearance of humans, but they possessed gigantic weapons and they had the ability to fly. Yeah, some kind of angels. The side walls had huge glass windows. In the upper side of the windows there was stained glass, depicting a few.. umm.. kings? Religious figures? I’m sorry, but the man getting dragged can’t look at them properly in this moment! The entrance door is made of gold, this time only sporting a few jewels at the sides of it which created the impression of a frame. In the back there was a huge throne. A red velvet carpet was displayed in front of the throne. So much for the heavenly figures and their modesty. The throne was made of silver and gold, sparkling in the natural light a bit too much. The ceiling was pretty much non-existent. Several constellations were displayed, acting like there was a real galaxy. It was a copy of the actual night sky and a really impressive one at that. One would take their time to admire the beauty of the god’s creativity.

Our hero gets thrown at the foot of the throne, groaning with annoyance. He has a scar over his right eye which seemed to avoid the eyeball quite tactfully. A frown was plastered on a really beautiful face. If anything, the scar only created a bit of a cool effect that offered him some individuality. He has strong arms and a good body (I know it for sure, I have my own sources). His lips, usually thick and pink, form a straight line. He swears he could kill everyone in the room.  
About that.. there were lots of heavenly officials in the room or what mere mortals would call them... gods. These deities are not what we all worship. The statues put in altars and all the stories about them only are only meant to represent the deity, not create a real impression about what they are. They act some kind of similar to us, however.  
There is a goddess sitting next to the throne, watching our hero unimpressed. She only mutters something like “puny human” and “handsome bastard”, but for her safety and dignity, we’ll keep this secret. She is wearing a white dress and seems to be the wife of the god sitting on the throne: a black-haired man, maybe in his 30s, not handsome, not ugly, dressed in a matching white outfit as the displeased woman. A golden head piece lays on top of his head.  
‘Ugh, too much gold. These are even worse than the Lanling Jin sect leaders.’  
Some other deities, that are of no importance to us, are scattered around.  
“Greetings, Heavenly Emperor. Your humble disciple came with... your other... angry disciple.”  
This person’s name is Liu QinXian. Or what our hero doesn’t know...  
Jin Guangyao.  
I feel like everyone deserves an explanation, right?   
How and why did Jin Guangyao end up in heaven? Well you will just have to wait for that.

Liu QinXian sits next to our hero. He looks at the Heavenly Emperor with his fox-like eyes, a fake smile plastered on his face. He absolutely hates getting interrogated by the emperor, but it seems like even in this life he has to obey some commands. Fortunately he has no plans for overthrowing the government. At least for now.  
“Liu QinXian. What is this bastard doing here now?”  
Liu QinXian doesn’t reply. He glares at the man on the ground sitting next to him and flashes his teeth at him. It seems like he has to take care of those idiots even after death. He changes his expression in a matter of seconds and faces the emperor again.  
“Your highness. Jiang Wanyin has infiltrated in the mind of humans again. But this time he created an impact in their lives.”  
“Does it affect the way those humans see us?”  
“No.”  
“Then does it affect negatively the humans?”  
“No.”  
“Does it do anything bad?”  
“It changes perception and could possibly affect the simplicity of the humans’ minds.”  
The emperor nods his head, pretending to understand Liu QinXian’s affirmation.  
“It seems fine to me. Jiang Wanyin. Get up.”  
Without giving it too much thought, the offended man gets up, dusting his clothes.   
“How many times do I have to tell you this is a forbidden act? It didn’t make a difference NOW, but in the future it might. We aren’t allowed to stick our nose into the humans’ business. What do I have to do to stop you from doing it again?”  
“Help me with what you promised, old man.”  
“Jiang Wanyin!” Liu QinXian snapped at the man he had known for quite a while, receiving a snare in return. “Stupid rabid dog”, he muttered under his breath, making sure Jiang Wanyin heard it, but the emperor didn’t.  
“You know you’re asking something impossible.”  
“How is it impossible when I know it happened before?”  
“And I told you I need that example so we can discuss the matters.”  
“I still can’t remember who was it about.”  
Liu QinXian sighs. They have been through it several times and he knows most of Jiang Wanyin’s memories have been erased.   
“What do you remember about your past life then?”  
“... I only remember the name I kept telling you.”  
“It was something with L... uh...”  
“Lan Xichen. That’s the only name I remember.”

It’s not that the emperor didn’t know the names. All of them have been really famous cultivators and many were aspiring for ascension. Jiang Wanyin only managed to ascend after death and that happened because Liu QinXian insisted to keep either Jiang Wanyin or Lan Xichen, considering that the other would surely search for the missing one.  
Jin Guangyao was actually surprised when Jiang Wanyin didn’t recognize him at all. He tried to make him talk, in case the sect leader was just playing games with him, but it happened that the emperor silently decided to erase his memory. Don’t think he did it out of consideration. This emperor might be the ruler of the gods, but he’s the worst of them. Knowing that Jiang Wanyin possesses a great amount of power and determination, he wanted to turn him into a war god and the commander of his army. Even though they had plenty of gods up there who could unmistakably do the job very well, Jiang Wanyin was considered special and easy to manipulate. Unfortunately, the former human broke the beautiful dream the emperor lived in and refused him vehemently, saying that there is someone he has to save. Or that’s what he remembered.  
You may wonder why did he actually interfere with his family’s life if he only remembered Lan Xichen. Well, Jin Guangyao played an important role in this. He’d slip into his mind small fragments of information about his loved ones. Conspicuously, he’d watch through the Mortal Mirror, a gate to the human realm, the daily lives of said persons. And of course, these things weren’t the only ones who contributed to his intervention. It’s in this sect leader’s nature to want to bring peace and help as many people as he can. To be honest with you, there is no god in the entire Heavenly Realm that would do the things Jiang Wanyin does. Not only he is a rightful person, but has a sense of justice that truly qualifies him as a god.

“Then as long as you can’t remember, I can’t help you. Get out and don’t create any more troubles.”  
“Emperor!”  
“I said, get out!” The imposing voice of the old god almost broke the windows. Jiang Wanyin and Jin Guangyao bowed and left the room without saying anything else.  
While outside, Liu QinXian breathes deeply, relieved.   
“I hate that old hag. I told you to stop doing that. Or at least be more discreet.”  
“Pf. He’s just annoying. I’ll find a way to get that person out of Hell.”  
Jin Guangyao’s brows are knitted together as he thinks hard for a moment. He truly never thought too much about this man, but there was something special about him that he couldn’t name. He felt like he understood Lan Xichen’s infatuation. He turned his head, feeling like he stared for too long. The plan is to save Lan Xichen, not appreciate this big idiot.   
“Er- uhh, Lan Xichen is a distinguished man. I really do believe he can handle it until we figure out what do the solutions sound like.”  
“Maybe you’re right. I shouldn’t be worried that much for someone I don’t remember clearly.”  
No. Alarms go off in Jin Guangyao’s hesd. That wasn’t the reaction he wanted to get.  
“No! I mean... he can sit back a while until we rescue him.”  
“Maybe..”

The two head towards the palace assigned to Jiang Wanyin. It’s huge, it’s simple and you could spot faint traces of purple in almost anything. Curtains? A bit of purple. Rugs? Dark purple. The floor? It had amethysts encrusted in it. The door? A black mahogany one with... a purple handle. It wasn’t like the former sect leader had a certain color in his head, but he felt like it should be that way. And... it looked pretty good.  
But he was dressed in black. His two outer layers of clothes were black and only his inner one was white. There were only a few purple ribbons attached to it that gave his print away. Otherwise, you’d say he was associated with a rogue cultivator like...  
“What did you say my brother’s name was?”  
“Wei Wuxian.”  
“And you said he was powerful.”  
“He still is, but he used to be even stronger.”  
“Interesting. And we aren’t siblings by blood. Just sworn brothers.”  
“Uh, yeah.”  
“I must have had a very complicated life before.”  
“...” Jin Guangyao prefers to stay silent. Even though he didn’t plan everyone’s demise, he had a hand in hurting the whole cultivation world. He avoided all the parts that ended up somehow like “... and this is why I fucked it up.” He looks at his shoes and thinks about how he could have changed many more things. Maybe it’s his fault that the one he truly loved died and his beloved is here, memories completely wiped. Liu QinXian sighs and looks up again.  
He has a difficult time judging Jiang Wanyin objectively. Why and when did he become so rotten? Lusting over his sworn brother’s fiancée? He must be way too fucked up to even consider this. But his eyes are sad. He only wishes he deserved the attention of a man who died to protect his own sect. A man who loved so much that even the memory of Lan Xichen was angrily crawling back into his mind. How could he do such a treacherous thing?! What if Jiang Wanyin suddenly remembered his past? Would he snap Jin Guangyao’s neck? Just for being the little piece of shit that he was, deceiving the one he loved. Or.. the one they both loved. He bites his lips hard until blood seeps in his mouth.   
No. He isn’t the wingman just to get fucked by him. He is in to help some people.  
But....   
Jiang Wanyin is intelligent and picks it up immediately.   
“Something disturbs you.”  
“Me? Haha... don’t worry, Wanyin. I am just a little tired.” Shit. He is a god, he doesn’t feel that anymore.  
“Tell me what’s bothering you.”  
“You won’t let me go until I do?”  
“You guessed it. You do the same to me.”  
Jin Guangyao blames the times when he approached the former sect leader in order to ease his mind from all the torment he was suffering. He also curses the time when he let the pair of light grey eyes stare into his soul and seeked friendship. But what could he do? A-Cheng was alone and probably confused and it was his duty to-  
“I can’t help you unless you tell me, Liu QinXian.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Are you afraid?”  
“... it depends on what you are referring to.”  
“.. of everything I might remember.” Jin Guangyao looks directly into Jiang Wanyin’s eyes and he takes a decision.  
He fakes the brightest smile ever, caresses the other’s face and speaks quietly.  
“It’s nothing. I’m just overthinking. You should rest. I’ll think about some solutions.” When Liu QinXian is about to turn around and leave, the other man grabs his hand.  
“Thank you... for helping me. I don’t know who you are, you must have known me in my past life, but I trust you now. I don’t know how bad of a man you could be so that you’d be afraid to interact with me now. There’s a chance I will remember everything, but even then, I won’t forget what you did for me during the days I spent here. Be you the worst man ever and I’d still believe there’s something good in there. Even when my memories do come back... there’s a chance I won’t like to go back to what I was. So please.. don’t push me away. I am stingy and the biggest asshole ever... but I have a heart.”  
Jin Guangyao’s heart drops and tears fall down his cheeks. He holds Wanyin’s hand tightly and makes the mistake he promised he wouldn’t.  
A soft press of lips startles Jiang Wanyin, but he deepens the kiss almost immediately. A pair of soft hands go around his neck and Liu QinXian swallows down a few sobs.  
“I’m sorry. Goodnight, A-Cheng.”  
The sect leader drops to the floor, sleeping peacefully. Jin Guangyao erases the memory of the kiss and takes him into his room, on the bed. With a short kiss on the forehead, he leaves, regretting the day he chose to seek power like his life depended on it.


	23. The Three Curses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin Guangyao starts the last trial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for taking so long, but I had to think this through.   
> Tw! Blood, violence, sexual content.   
> This is the new Jin Guangyao, I hope you enjoy the future development of this character and see you soon with a new chapter!

Liu QinXian arrives at his palace, agitated. He opens the palace doors quickly and yells at everyone to leave in that very moment. All the servants disappear in a second. His hair is disheveled and he looks like he fought a boar.

In fact, he went straight to the lion’s den, just to get shaken to reality.   
He descended to Hell.  
The only thing we should know is that he was beaten up. A bunch of demons found him sneaking around and just threw some punches. If anyone saw him in this state they would either mock him or just ask too many questions.  
He goes straight to his room, making sure nobody is inside and takes off the outer layer of clothes. He was wearing a red cape that started disgusting him when Jiang Wanyin ascended because he was reminded of his betrayal and bad deeds. He snapped his fingers and set it on fire. Underneath, he was wearing black robes, mirroring the ones Jiang Wanyin was wearing. He took these off, too and also turned then into ashes. The inner layer was an usual white so those didn’t really matter, but he did consider wearing more white and black since the former sect leader came into his life.  
He wants to throw up, to throw out all the dirt he has inside, all the bullshit he accumulated. He looks into a mirror encrusted with amethysts. It was more than a simple crush. He wanted to break the mirror, to throw it away, but in fact....  
It was the one Jiang Wanyin gifted him on his most recent birthday.   
The head piece... it’s all gone. He wishes he didn’t leave it in the other’s house and just hoped the demons robbed him.   
Just like the usual Jin Guangyao you know, Liu QinXian looked just as gorgeous, a few bruises here and there from the fight he just had. His long hair fell on his shoulders and went down to his waist. He didn’t bother to cut it since- no. This has to end.   
He can’t only listen what Jiang Wanyin says. He has to go past that, he has to set his own standards. He takes of the white blouse and stares at his chest. His skin is indeed fair and his face pretty.   
Poor mind, it had to endure the requests of the heart. He imagined Jiang Wanyin leaning over him, since Liu QinXian was indeed shorter, kissing his neck and his shoulders carefully and sweetly. It seems like the thoughts didn’t go away. He imagines Jiang Wanyin caressing his chest, his nipples, licking into his mouth while rubbing circles on his skin. He already feels like melting on his feet. His mouth hangs open, soft moans escaping through his lips. While he was about to take off his pants, he hears knocks at the front door. This sends him back to reality and he dressed fastly into white and golden robes, rushing downstairs.

“QinXian... you dropped this...”  
“Oh.. right...” The shorter man extends his hand to take his headpiece back.  
“Before you tell me a lie.. I just want you to know there’s nothing wrong with whatever you feel. You just have to talk about it.”  
“...” He didn’t make him forget the whole incident, but only the kiss.  
“I know headpieces don’t just get randomly knocked off. So tell me if someone is bothering you. I will help you fight that person. I will knock their teeth out! I will-“  
Oh, thank heavens. He doesn’t have to explain too much. But the inevitable happens, he takes it from Jiang Wanyin and their fingers slightly brush against each other. And then... it’s too late to go back.   
The mighty Sandu Shengshou kisses Liu QinXian fervently, pushing his way inside the palace. Jin Guangyao is taken aback and his mind screams to send the other away and just do what he is supposed to do, but he can’t. His body doesn’t listen to the desperate commands and has a flow of its own. Not wasting time at all, Jiang Wanyin unceremoniously takes off Liu QinXian’s outer robe and carries him, bridal style, to his bedroom. He’s still the grumpy Yunmeng Jiang sect leader so he throws the shorter one on the bed, taking off his next layer of clothes, as well. Jin Guangyao rests his head on the pillows and waits for the other man to crawl over him, which he does without any fault. Towering the slimmer person, he feels powerful so he groans deeply, startling the other person.  
“Did anything happen?” Jin Guangyao is a bit stressed, to say the least. He knows the sect leader’s temper and doesn’t want to anger him in any way.  
“I just thought,” his cheeks flare up, realising he did it a bit too much. “That uh... that it’s pretty cool that...”  
Oh.  
A malicious smile spreads across Jin Guangyao’s face and is replaced moments later, by a surprised expression, brows arched high. What a weird man, he had no idea this whole time he was just horny.  
“So you like being in command, Wanyin?”  
“Well... uh... you could say that..”  
There are only two persons who can break his mind in two: Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. The latter one is having the fun of his life by discovering all these little particularities of the one above.  
“Then I suggest you turn me into your servant. I’ll do whatever you want.” After all, he was used to that. Except that this time he will get a lot of pleasure out of it. Thinking about what he was going to do, he didn’t feel sorry anymore. Waves of arousal were getting to his head, making him dizzy with excitement.  
Jiang Wanyin takes off his own head piece and his hair, now much longer than it used to be, falls on his back. Liu QinXian thinks he’s very sexy and wonders why didn’t anyone fuck this guy properly the whole time. The taller lowers himself on the one under him, supporting himself on his elbows and knees, sporting an “on all fours” position. Jin Guangyao extends his hand and touches his face gently. A tinge of regret warns to fill his eyes with tears, but he doesn’t let them fall. So what? They might not be able to save Lan Xichen. Wouldn’t he feel sorry for not seizing the opportunity?  
Jiang Wanyin kisses his friend, with an even greater intensity. His tongue explores the inside of the other’s mouth, sucking and licking with an intensity you’d be jealous of.   
Ah, what a sight! There’s this muscular guy, with a scar on his right eye, tons of bruises and scars all over his body, sitting on top of a pretty boy that has literally perfect skin, a really beautiful face, long eyelashes, crystal clear eyes. Only the few bruises that he acquired in his recent fight were the imperfections grazing his skin.  
The one under breaks the kiss and stares at his friend. Yeah, they’re basically friends, aren’t they? They kind of helped each other during the days they spent here in heaven and even though they were often scolded by the Heavenly Emperor, they never missed a chance to testify for the one in trouble. If Jiang Wanyin knew who this sweet person was, would he still act the same towards him? The same question was eating Liu QinXian up. Maybe being perceptive and also a good strategist helped the former sect leader figure it out.  
“Hey. You’re not comfortable with this. Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“Nothing.. it’s just... maybe we shouldn’t do it.”  
“If you don’t feel like this is the right thing to do, we don’t have to go through with it.”  
“Do you really mean it?”  
“Of course, QinXian. We’ve been friends for quite some time. I can understand when something doesn’t feel right for you. And... to be honest.. it’s fine if you don’t want to do it. Considering that we’re friends and you don’t want to change that, yeah it’s alright, it’s-“  
It was hard not to pinpoint the fact that Jiang Wanyin was a bit hurt. He was thinking the other man didn’t want him because he was simply not attractive or just he seemed too boring. The anxiety never left his body along with the memories. But he meant to respect whatever decision the other took because if anything, boundaries were considered the most important in any situation. Plus... Jiang Wanyin cared a lot about his friend. He didn’t want to create an inconvenience to the one he valued a lot.  
“Then I think we can just umm kiss and that would be .. uhh fine.. yeah.”  
“If even kissing bothers you, we don’t have do it. QinXian, it’s fine, really.”  
“Wanyin, please, you don’t have to... if you really want-“  
“No. I mean it.”   
Jin Guangyao felt terrible: terrible for making Jiang Wanyin sad, terrible for lying to him, terrible for stealing Lan Xichen’s boyfriend, terrible for pretending like everything was alright. He felt like throwing up.  
The taller man got up and gathered all of Liu QinXian’s clothes and brought them to him.  
“I noticed you changed your style.”  
“This feels more like me.”  
“Does it have something to do with your past life?”  
“It... it does.”  
“You look stunning with those golden robes.”  
“Thank you. Purple suits you well.”  
“I think so, too.” While dressing up, Wanyin tries to keep the conversation going to make the situation less awkward. “So when are we going to see what’s happening to the mortals again?”  
“Soon enough. We need to stay away for a while, in case the emperor tries to watch us again.”  
“Hmm, good point.”  
Liu QinXian carefully styles his hair and puts back his headpiece. Jiang Wanyin watches him with awe. He’s fast and really precise and he doesn’t even look in the mirror.  
“Could-could you... b-braid my hair..?” He hates asking for favors, but the technique of his friend really impressed him a lot.  
“Do you have any ideas?”  
“I don’t know if it’s related to my memories, but I would like a bun and two braids on the side of my head, both stuck into the bun. A-and... uh.. a purple ribbon.. please.. ah this is so fucking embarassing... if you can’t just don’t do it!”  
“That’s fine. I can do that. Sit here.”  
Bringing the necessary instruments, Jin Guangyao quickly does what he was told and guides his client to the mirror. The taller man is surprised and his face suddenly lights up. He enjoys his new look and takes his time to admire the creation of QinXian. The stylist stares at his friend, a big smile plastered on his face. Jiang Wanyin’s face turns red with embarassment and quickly looks away.  
“This is the mirror I have gifted you. You kept it.”  
“I did. Even though it doesn’t fit the aesthetic of my room, I value it a lot.”  
“You could have thrown it out.”  
“Why? Do you throw out things that you were gifted? Do you throw out friends? Did you throw out the golden-“  
Jin Guangyao shuts up. He knows he’s walking on hot stones so he decided to change the subject.  
“-golden box I have gifted you?”  
“No, of course not. I’m glad you like the mirror.”  
“I can’t hate anything that comes from you.”  
“Except the attention I give you. You always become uncomfortable when I try to approach you.”  
“It’s better like this. When you find out the whole truth about your past life, you will hate me immensely.”  
“I told you that doesn’t sound real, but you seem convinced of it. Why don’t you just help me remember it all?”  
“Do you want me to be honest?”  
“As usual.” Wanyin hugs the other heavenly official from the back. “You don’t have to be afraid to tell me the truth.”  
“You’ve never been good at hearing it.”  
“Weren’t I?”  
“You always overreacted when you found out outrageous things.”  
“Give me an example.”  
“I can’t.”  
“QinXian. Why don’t we... just start talking? I feel like there’s a long story you have to tell me.”  
“You’ll have to kill me afterwards.”  
“If it’s like that, then it’s definitely something I should know.”  
“Do you want to kill me?”  
“At most, I think I would just rather not see you again.”  
“It’s even worse.”  
“Why? Don’t you value your life?”  
“I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to die.”

Back in time.  
Jin Guangyao feels like it’s the time he disappears forever. He sits on a snowy ground. He closed his eyes like five minutes ago, but he opened them when he felt like something changed. And to be honest... everything around him was different. The entire scene he was at before vanished and was replaced by this snowy mountain.   
Ghost Guangyao is surrounded by a golden aura. He sits on the snow, but he doesn’t feel the coldness of it. His outfit was also completely changed. He had a red outfit, all glamoured up, totally different from the golden humble robes he was wearing before. A huge man welcomes him with a stern face.  
“Greetings, cultivator. I heard you have meddled with the dark powers when you were still alive.”  
“Am I dead?”  
“You have been dead for a while. Did you forget?”  
“No. Like... dead dead.”  
The huge man scratches his head and tries to understand the question.  
“Well... you’re alive now.”  
Jin Guangyao looks at his body and it’s no longer wavering like it used to when he saw Lan Xichen at Carp Tower, but it was rather glowing, fair and not cursed by the deadly pale color he used to have when he died.  
“Am I in Hell?”  
“This depends... do you wish you were in Hell?”  
“No, but I suppose it’s where I deserve to be.”  
“Why do you think that?”  
“I have killed... people.. many persons.. including.... brother... Nie..”  
“Do you regret that?”  
“Of course! I... I could have had power even without being a little bitch. I just didn’t have the patience for that.”  
“Jealousy and wrath are two deadly sins.”  
“I know, hence my supposition.”  
“Do you remember what you did before you died?”  
“I pushed... brother Lan.”  
“And why exactly did you do that?”  
“...”  
“I can’t let you in if you don’t tell me.”  
“It’s personal.”  
“I know everything that happened, boy. I want to hear it from YOU.”  
“I sensed like he wanted to... to die...with me.”  
“And you were right. You did the right thing. And for that... you shall become a heavenly official.”  
A red whip materialized in Jin Guangyao’s hand.   
“???”  
“This is for your good deeds. Even though you were an awful person, you still saved the one you cared about. It left a print on your soul. Nobody will forget that.”  
“I do not wish to see others anymore though.”  
“I was talking about the other heavenly officials. Time to set a fate for you.”  
“A what?!”  
“For your bad deeds, of course. Don’t think I would have let you go so fast.”  
Jin Guangyao had no time to think about the statement and he fell into nothingness. He kept falling for a while until he was transported into a hall, filled to the brim with people. He was on his knees, a golden throne being set in front of him. Chatter was incessantly bothering his sensitive ears and he turned around, red-eyed, wanting to kill everyone. He clenched his fists and tried to move, but he was bound with gold chains. He struggled to get free, but to no avail. The red carpet he was sitting on seemingly dragged him to the ground as well. His mouth, too, was sealed shut. The man from before made his appearance on the throne.  
“Here we have Jin Guangyao, everyone, what do we do to him?”  
“!!!” The bound man tried to speak up, but only muffled angry sounds could be heard.  
“Kill him. He’s a traitor.”  
“Yeah, he destroyed lots of sects, killed the well-known Nie Mingjue, betrayed the one he loved. He’s good for nothing.”  
Many heavenly officials aggreed with the outrageous words.  
“Any other opinions?” The man yawned as if they were discussing nothing important. Jin Guangyao couldn’t help, but be angry. What right do they have to treat him like a dog you just sell in a market? He was the mighty Lanling Jin sect leader! He killed another sect leader and managed to turn everyone against Wei Wuxian! He-  
But they were right.  
He was rotten and useless. Of course they wanted to get rid of him.  
“I have an idea if I am allowed, Heavenly Emperor.” A figure dressed in black with a hood covering their face entirely and a cloak not letting the body to be distinguished, stepped forward. Their voice reverberated in the room, deep and menacingly.  
“Alright, who invited this one here?” An irritated official spoke up, acting like the person in black was even more disgusting than he was a few minutes ago.  
“I did! This happened only because you are all incompetent. If it were for you, this realm would have collapsed thousands of years ago!” The Heavenly Emperor’s face reddened with anger. The hall fell silent and Jin Guangyao chuckled. He feels like he is watching a commedy performed on the street: bad, but it still makes you giggle.  
“Master Death, please suggest us something.” Only then Jin Guangyao’s laugh stuck in his throat. Death? He was not only others’ laughing stock, but his life was on the line, too. This dumb shit made DEATH CHOOSE HIS FUTURE? Right, nothing could go worse.  
Oh, how wrong he was.  
Death stepped forwards and revealed the face of a handsome man.   
“Don’t look into his eyes!” Everyone started looking elsewhere than the Death’s face. Jin Guangyao was confused as to why he had to do that. He did the opposite to the advice and regretted instantly. He was dragged into a whirlpool of his worst memories. He felt like he was out of breath and that only in a matter of seconds. Death broke the eye contact and smiled sadly.  
“Young man, I’m sorry you have to experience this right now. I know this whole thing is quite traumatic for you, but it could be much more than you imagine. Never underestimate the power of the fate.” His hair was long, black and well combed. His eyes were icy blue. Death rather identified as a man when he brought misfortune and on the time he eased the struggles of someone in pain he called himself a woman. Most of the time, unfortunately, he had to do the dirty job and with sorrow on his pretty face he’d cast curses.  
This time... it isn’t any different.  
“Jin Guangyao. You shall change your name and Liu QinXian you will become as this has been bestowed by the greatest divinity that rules us all. Moreover.” He glances at the emperor who was enjoying the situation to the max. “Moreover... you will have to face three trials and then you may become a really powerful heavenly official. Shall you fail them, you will be banished to the depths of Hell, accompanying me day and night. Does this bring joy to Heavenly Emperor?”  
“Yes, yes! Go on!”  
Jin Guangyao wants to throw up blood, but being bound stops him from doing so and he feels sick, he wants to collapse, never to wake up again. His conscience was reminding him he had to witness it all.  
“The first trial shall be withstanding the greatest pain a person can experience: the death of a loved one.”  
No. Anything, but not that! No!  
“I suppose this young’s man beloved is Lan Xichen, the cultivator.”  
Jin Guangyao struggles with the chains, in a useless attempt to break free and tell them to stop.  
“The man shall die two days from now. If Liu QinXian’s soul survives the pain, the second trial shall start and that should be losing his own identity. Changing the name will bring some other disasters: master Liu will lose his original powers and his cultivation will differ. That being said...”  
Death sighs, as if he didn’t want to finish the sentence. Jin Guangyao has tears in his eyes and just tries to hold on until the sentence is set.  
“... he will serve as the god of deception and worldly pleasures... since the palace responsible for that seems empty. The last trial though.. he will have to do what the original person wouldn’t have done.”  
Jin Guangyao was listening to the conversation, disinterested in the end result. However, the words spoken really made him lose his consciousness. He knew exactly what Death meant.  
He wanted to seduce another man.  
Not only he had to watch Lan Xichen die, he knew about it beforehand and then he had to fuck around with some other person just because he had to pass some sort of stupid trials. Oh and he had to lose himself in the process. A pretty interesting way for starting your new life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! The chapters come out as soon as they are properly edited. If you liked this, I invite you to read my other stories as well. See ya next time!


End file.
